Sheet Paper Jokes
39 sheet paper jokes and hilarious sheet paper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sheet paper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Sheet Paper Short Jokes
Short sheet paper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sheet paper humour may include short piece paper jokes also.
- My wife complains I use too much toilet paper and I should only use three sheets. Now she complains that the bed linen stinks.
- My professor wanted me to write an essay on existentialism... So I passed in a blank sheet of paper
- How do you keep a blind kid entertained? You give them a sheet of sand paper and tell them that it's a find-a-word.
- Wanted to make some origami constellation from paper... They all turned out pisces of sheet
- Imagine you're a millionaire. Write down your activities in a sheet of paper. Teacher: Why are you not writing anything?
Me: I'm waiting for my secretary. - Have you heard about the constipated math teacher? He worked the problem out with a pencil.
On a sheet of paper. - What do a tuna, a piano, and a sheet of adhesive paper have in common? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
- Today an old lady at the bank asked me to check her balance So I pulled up her account and gave her a sheet of paper with her account information on it
- Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.
- What do you say to a friend that uses exercise book as envelope for working papers? "you need to get your sheets together"
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Sheet Paper One Liners
Which sheet paper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sheet paper? I can suggest the ones about sheet and tissue paper.
- What did the printer say when it ran out of paper? Oh sheet
- I caught someone trying to steal my piece of paper. I almost lost my sheet.
- What do you call ripped paper? A piece of sheet.
- [new euphemism]: "As worthless as the last sheet on a roll of paper towels"
- Why is a blondie standing on a sheet of paper She is driving an A4
- Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
- Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
- I hate it when commercials are misleading No one uses 1 sheet of toilet paper
Comical Sheet Paper Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about sheet paper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sheet paper pranks.
Scientists claim its impossible to fold a piece of paper 8 times.
They have obviously never seen me wiping my a**... when there is only one sheet of toilet paper left.
A new recruit in the military was looking for a sheet of paper
He would look for a particular sheet of paper no matter the day and weather. He refused to tell anyone what the sheet of paper was about, so after a week of this recruit searching high and low for the sheet of paper, the psychiatrist declared him mentally challenged and discharged him from the military. He handed the letter of discharge to the recruit and he smiled and said "Oh yes. This is the sheet of paper I was looking for!"
Philosophy final
in a class for philosophy, the teacher looks at his class, grabs his chair, places it on his desk and tells the entire classroom about his final.
"You have only one question: use your knowledge that I have taught you in this class and prove to me that this chair doesn't exist. You have until the end of class."
Now while everyone else in the class worked on long complicated answers to his problem, one student got up from his desk almost as soon as it begun. The student smiles and hands the teacher his paper and was off.
The teacher, almost sad that the student didn't even try, looked at the sheet of paper and gave the student an "A"
His answer: What chair?
The Last Exam
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars.
5 minutes before the bell, Bob handed in a blank sheet of paper. "Bob!" yelled the teacher. "You've done nothing. Why?"
"Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do."
My Ex-wife Wanted a b**... Job.
In an effort to save money, I told her that taking a few sheets of toilet tissue and rubbing it between her b**... twice a day would make her b**... grow. So my ex did this diligently for 3 months. Finally, after seeing no improvement, she came to me with a look of disappointment on her face. She asked "Are you sure rubbing toilet paper between my breast will make them grow?"
I replied, "Yeah; look how big it made your a**...."
A student is blatantly cheating in an exam
The invigilator is watching in a mixture of disbelief and amusement as the student peeks at a crib sheet and looks at his neighbours papers.
At the end of the exam the students line up to hand their papers in. When the cheater gets to the front of the line the invigilator says "Uh-uh, no way. You were blatantly cheating; you don't get to submit a paper"
The student looks him in the eye and says "Do you know who I am!?"
"Not a clue!" says the invigilator.
"Good then" says the student, as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack of papers on the desk and walks out.
Jan goes to the doctor for a diet plan.
Jan is terribly overweight, so the doctor hands over a sheet of paper with a diet on it.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds.
When Jan returns, The doctor's amazed to see a loss of nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
Jan nods, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.
"No, from skipping."
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks.
She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock.
"Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
A small company recently hired a new blonde secretary who certainly wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.
One day while she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “What do I do now? I’m almost out of typing paper.”
“Just use the copier machine paper,” replied the other secretary.
With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank sheet of typing paper, placed it on the photocopier and proceeded to make ten blank copies.
A young manager was finishing up late at work
When he was leaving there was only one other person in the office.
He noticed it was the owner of the company standing by a Shredder with a sheet of paper looking confused.
He approached him and asked if he was alright.
The owner said "my secretary has gone home and she always does these things for me", and asked "do you know how to work this machine".
The manager said "yes", turned on the Shredder and stuck the sheet in and said "all done".
The owner said "brilliant, now I need three more copies."
Two guys are in a helicopter.
During their flight the helicopter encounters some dense fog and quickly becomes lost. After a few minutes of careful maneuvering, the two find themselves hovering next to a large building where they can see a guy in his office, sitting at his desk.
Thinking quickly, the copilot grabs a piece of paper, writes "WHERE ARE WE?" in huge letters on it, and holds it up for the officeworker to read. The officeworker grabs a sheet of paper off his desk, scribbles quickly, and holds up his response: "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
"Okay, no problem," says the pilot. "I know where we are. We're over the local college and that's the engineering school."
"How do you know that?" asks the copilot.
"Because," says the pilot, "the answer he gave us was technically correct but completely useless."
CIA assessment center
After the standard round of interviews, a good dozen of applicants sit before the director of the CIA office.
"Trust is central to our business, ladies and gentlemen. Still, intelligence, precision and punctuality are nearly as essential. So, to the test: You have an envelope with a coded address on it. It contains important top secret data for someone in this office building. Get this sensitive information to him."
The applicants scurry away with their red labeled envelopes, each trying to crack the code and simultaneously making their way through the labyrinthine vastness of the CIA office building.
Only one applicant rounds the corner and, after looking left and right, breaks the "TOP SECRET" seal and rips open the envelope. Inside, he finds a sheet of paper, that says: "Misuse of trust is central to our business. Come back to my office to sign your contract."