Sheet Jokes

169 sheet jokes and hilarious sheet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sheet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the funny use of puns related to sheets, such as balance sheets, bed sheets, fitted sheets, excel sheets, and ghost sheets. Learn how to make bed sheets from fabric and sew the perfect fit, or find out the practical jokes that are hidden in your financial balance sheets. Read on for some clever wit about sheets and their punny uses.

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jokes about sheet

Best Short Sheet Jokes

Short sheet puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sheet humour may include short paper jokes also.

  1. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
  2. Sherlock Holmes Sherlock Holmes is inspecting a bed. He says to Watson, "this bed is missing something." Watson replies "no sheet sherlock."
  3. I'm going to open up a store that only sells two bed covers and two snorkels. Just four sheets and goggles.
  4. The police are saying I "assaulted" some guy with a sheet of sandpaper. But I only roughed him up a bit.
  5. My ex wife's favorite joke. Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but a sheet of saran-wrap.
    Doc says to him, "I can clearly see your nuts."
  6. Me: the victim is 6'1 ; his body has already turned into a ghost. Police officer: Sir, that's just a sheet we covered the body with.
  7. How do you prevent an accordion player from playing? Take away their sheet music and watch them panic.
  8. Why doesn't Trump stay in the Whitehouse on weekends? All the ghosts in their white sheets keep reminding him of his father.
  9. How do you entertain a blind kid? Give them a sheet of sandpaper and tell them it's a find a word game
  10. My music teacher asked me a question. I said, "Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift." "Excuse me?" he replied, hesitantly. "I was asking if you knew 'sheet' music."
Sheet joke, My music teacher asked me a question. I said, "Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift."

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about sheet can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of sheet puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Sheet One Liners

Which sheet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sheet? I can suggest the ones about panel and plate.

  1. What does the blanket say when it falls off the bed? "Sheet."
  2. What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet
  3. Yesterday I lost 100 sheets of sandpaper... But I have a rough idea where they are
  4. Why do French ghosts smell so bad? Zay are, ow you say, "covered in sheet".
  5. How do you get a guitar player to shut up? Put sheet music in front of him
  6. Hey girl are you proficient in Excel? Cause I need your help spreadin' some sheets.
  7. How do you make an accordionist play more quietly? Put a sheet of music in front of them.
  8. What does the gingerbread man sleep on? Cookie sheets.
  9. How do you confuse a drummer? Give him sheet music
  10. Global warming is funny. Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.
  11. Why did the trick or treater lose his ghost costume? Someone scared the sheet out of him
  12. What happens when you eat aluminium foil? You sheet metal
  13. How do you get a guitarist to stop playing? Give them some sheet music
  14. I bet dating zelda would be fun. A princess in the streets, but Sheik in the sheets.
  15. Why don't ghosts go out in public? Because they look like sheet

Bed Sheet Jokes

Here is a list of funny bed sheet jokes and even better bed sheet puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife complains I use too much toilet paper and I should only use three sheets. Now she complains that the bed linen stinks.
  • What's Aaron Hernandez's favorite part of a bed sheet? The tight end.
  • What did the pillow say when it fell off the bed Sheet
  • How do you smell once you get of bed? Like sheet.
  • What did the blanket said when it fell from the bed? Oh sheet!!
  • What is the difference between a piece of fabric with elastic around the edges, designed to go on a bed, and an unexpected bout of diarrhea when wearing sandals? One is a fitted sheet...
  • What's better than a violin on your bed? A fiddle between the sheets
  • What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed? "Holy Sheet!"
  • A man has died after being suffocated under his bed sheets... The government is now calling for a blanket ban.
  • What do you call a bunch of bed bugs? A sheet-load.

Sheet Paper Jokes

Here is a list of funny sheet paper jokes and even better sheet paper puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the printer say when it ran out of paper? Oh sheet
  • My professor wanted me to write an essay on existentialism... So I passed in a blank sheet of paper
  • How do you keep a blind kid entertained? You give them a sheet of sand paper and tell them that it's a find-a-word.
  • I caught someone trying to steal my piece of paper. I almost lost my sheet.
  • What do you call ripped paper? A piece of sheet.
  • Wanted to make some origami constellation from paper... They all turned out pisces of sheet
  • Imagine you're a millionaire. Write down your activities in a sheet of paper. Teacher: Why are you not writing anything?
    Me: I'm waiting for my secretary.
  • Have you heard about the constipated math teacher? He worked the problem out with a pencil.
    On a sheet of paper.
  • What do a tuna, a piano, and a sheet of adhesive paper have in common? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!
  • [new euphemism]: "As worthless as the last sheet on a roll of paper towels"

Ghost Sheet Jokes

Here is a list of funny ghost sheet jokes and even better ghost sheet puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar? 1. Because he was sheet faced.
    1. Because he couldn't hold his boos.
  • Why was the ghost late to the halloween party? He had to take a sheet.
  • Why don't Monsters eat Ghosts? They taste like sheet!!
  • What did the ghost say to the other ghost at the Halloween party? Let's get sheet-faced!
  • What does a Ghost wear in the car?? A sheet belt!
  • Why did the ghost get kicked out of the aquatic center? Because he took a sheet in the pool.
  • How can you tell if a ghost has had too much to drink? They look all sheet-faced.
  • What did the ghost say when he learned another ghost was a nudist? No sheet
  • Why did the French ghost smell so bad? He was covered in sheet.
  • What happens when you goose a ghost? You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

Sheet Music Jokes

Here is a list of funny sheet music jokes and even better sheet music puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal... carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.
    The conductor asks him Will you need any sheet music?
    The man replies, Nah, I'll play it by ear.
  • Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music? Because he was de-composing.
  • If there's one thing I've learned from sheet music over the years It's that a long rest just can't be beat
  • How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp? Give him sheet music.
  • My band director wanted to throw a "taping" party to organize our sheets of music. I told him that I'll bring the Scotch.
  • I used to sit in front of the trombones in band I would keep both my sheet music, as well as theirs, so I knew when to duck.
  • Why did everyone hate the classical composer's music Everyone thought he had some sheet music
  • I collect way too much sheet music, but I assure you, this one is a real score.
  • What kind of music do drywallers play? Sheet Rock
  • Friend: I feel like I'll never be a good musician. I can't even read sheet music Me: a lot of great musicians don't know how to read sheet music. Look at Stevie Wonder

Balance Sheet Jokes

Here is a list of funny balance sheet jokes and even better balance sheet puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Today an old lady at the bank asked me to check her balance So I pulled up her account and gave her a sheet of paper with her account information on it
  • How does the balance sheet of a bank look like as of today? On the left side there's nothing right and on the right side there's nothing left...
  • Balance sheet worries of both the accountant and ballerina
Sheet joke, Balance sheet

Happy Sheet Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about sheet you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean excel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make sheet prank.

What did the Pope say when he first saw the Shroud of Turin?

Holy Sheet!

A man from the Census Bureau knocks on an apartment door in the projects

A black woman answers the door and the man asks, "Excuse me, Ma'am, how many people live here?"
The woman replies, "Me and my 12 children".
"Wow" the man exclaims, "I had better go get an extra record sheet so I can write down all of their names".
"No, you won't need to" she says, "I named them all Leeroy".
The man stops for a second with a puzzled look on his face. "But Ma'am, how do you call them each to dinner?"
"I just yell 'Leeroy, time for dinner!' and they all come".
"But then how do you get them to go to bed?"
"Same thing. I just yell 'Leeroy, time for bed!' and they all get to bed".
"So what do you do when you want to speak to them one on one?"
"That's easy, I just call them by their last name."

local parish

The head priest at a certain church was out for the day, so he asked the deacon to do confession for him. The deacon agrees, and the first person that comes says, "Forgive me, for I just gave a guy a b**...." He says, "You have sinned."
Then he looks at the sheet on the wall that had punishments for certain sins on it, but b**... was not on there, so he went out to ask one of the altar boys what he usually gives for a b**.... The altar boy answered, "Oh, about five dollars."

In the old Russia, bevore USSR a small child comes home from the last day of school

and holding his grade sheet yells to his revolutionary father "Father! You know how you always say how bad our schooling system is? Now I have proof of it!"

Sandpaper and Tissue

A sheet of sandpaper and a tissue were talking. The sheet of sandpaper says, "I'm very jealous of you." The tissue replies, "Why?" The sandpaper explains, " Because I've had it rough all my life."

A software engineer died at 45 and went to heaven.

He asked god why he was dead at such an early age. God replied "Son, according to the billable hours you filed in your time sheet you should be 92 by now "

Why did the jewish boy's ghost costume only have one eye hole?

His dad didn't want to buy him a new sheet.

Multiple-choice test results

I got a 11 out of 200 in a multiple choice test and the teacher was fuming with anger.
To demonstrate how bad I did he took out an empty answer sheet, put a shoe mark on it and fed it into the marking machine.
The result is 18 out of 200...

You ever hear about the guy who goosed the ghost?

He got a handful of sheet.

I am a single male and I folded a fitted sheet at the laundromat today AMA!

Why did the Italian get thrown out of the hotel?

He said "I wanna two sheet onna the bed".

I read a metalworking book on how to attach two pieces of sheet metal together.

The story was riveting.

A French Girl gets her Period

My friend's family is French.
His sister had this huge French flag for a bed sheet.
Then one night she got her period.
Imagine her shock when she woke up on the Japanese Flag.

"Have I made myself clear?"

Said the chameleon as he stood in front of a sheet of glass.

I have the best blanket in the world

It's the sheet.

I'm not excel-ent in my job

but at least .. I know my sheet.

Mexican Magician

A Mexican magician was known for his vanishing act. He would drape a sheet over his head and count:
"Uno! Dos!"...........p**...! the sheet fell flat.
He was gone without a Tres.

A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...

and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."
"I want a dragon."
"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"
"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."
"...what color dragon do you want?"

I knew my camping holiday was doomed when I saw the people at the next pitch struggling with a torn ground sheet and bent pegs.

It was a portent.

Why did the ghost stink?

Because it was covered in sheet

Why did the kid get in trouble for wearing a bed sheet ghost costume?

He wore a pointy hat underneath.

What does a gingerbread man sleep with at night?

A cookie sheet

I just bought a sewing machine

I needed to get my sheet together

A man runs into a bar

A man runs into a bar, dashing through the doors, wearing absolutely nothing but a sheet of plastic wrap covering his entire body. The bartender stares at the man and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

How do you put on a fitted bed sheet correctly the first time?

Step 1: Wrong.

I wanted to cuddle with my blankey, but..

It's over me and I'm full of sheet.

My friend made a flute out of a carrot...

It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.
My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.

A new recruit in the military was looking for a sheet of paper

He would look for a particular sheet of paper no matter the day and weather. He refused to tell anyone what the sheet of paper was about, so after a week of this recruit searching high and low for the sheet of paper, the psychiatrist declared him mentally challenged and discharged him from the military. He handed the letter of discharge to the recruit and he smiled and said "Oh yes. This is the sheet of paper I was looking for!"

My girlfriend is a perfect lady in the streets, but an ANIMAL in the sheet!

I wish she'd told me before we started dating. I'm not into lycanthropy.

What did the Hasidic Rabi say when he caught another man in bed with his wife?


What did the filipino guy told the room service lady?

Pack dis sheet im out.

I hear Harvey Weinstein's call sheet has been blowing up lately.

Apparently the Republican Party wants him to run for President.

In Art Class...

Teacher: Why did you submit a blank sheet?
Student: That's a cow in the field.
Teacher: Field? Where's the grass?
Student: The cow ate it.
Teacher: Then, where's the cow?
Student: There's no grass left, you expect it to stay there..?

I snuck up on my dryer...

Scared the sheet out of it.

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

What do you call a Metallica song after being transcribed?

Sheet metal.

The Munich agreement

was a peace of sheet.

What do you do after you eat aluminum foil?

You sheet metal

Before computers, we did Boolean algebra by hand. Everyone hated it.

It was all Bool sheet work.

s**... with my wife is like the England World Cup squad

neither of us know why we're there or what we're doing, there's little passion or communication and we rarely even make it past the first stage.
It's often accompanied by lots of unnecessary noise, horrible dribbling and never a clean sheet.
It's always over far too quickly and when it does end we know it'll be at least another 4 years before it happens again.

Never Grab a Ghost From Behind

You'll get a handful of sheet

Have you seen the videos in which people confuse their pets by disappearing unexpectedly?

I'm sick of that sheet.

I smashed a sheet of glass on the floor and I can't find the last piece....

It's a bit of a pane.

Successful people only sleep on bare mattresses...

...because after all that hard work you don't want to sheet the bed.

Zeus Cast Down A Sacred Pile of Cloth for Mere Mortals to Sleep On

Mortals: Holy Sheet!

A huge thank you to my neighbour, who lent me her large sheet of plastic covering.

Ta Pauline!

What did the Catholic Church say when they first saw the Shroud of Turin?

Holy sheet!

My baby made the bed all by himself....

Unfortunately, he used a big brown sheet.

What do you do after you eat gravel?

Sheetrock. For those keeping track at home, yes I repurposed a sheet metal joke from a post on another sub a couple days ago but I worked in construction and this made more sense to me.

Sheet joke, What do you do after you eat gravel?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these sheet jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.