Sheep Herding Jokes
50 sheep herding jokes and hilarious sheep herding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sheep herding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Sheep Herding Short Jokes
Short sheep herding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sheep herding humour may include short herding jokes also.
- "I love my job!" said the farmer "All you do is boss me around all day!" said one of his sheep.
"What did you say?" said the farmer.
"You herd me." - A German Shepherd and a Sheep are out on a date... German Shepherd: "What do you mean I'm too controlling?!"
Sheep: "You herd me." - This is my all time favorite joke Old man: I love my job
Young boy: all you do is round up sheep
Old man: what did you say to me?
Young boy: you herd - A herd of sheep walks into a bar. One of the sheep says "A round of beers, please."
The bartender says "Okay, so that's one, two, three, four.... five..... six.......
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz........." - A farmer and his dog are herding sheep. They finish and his dog says "I have counted 40 sheep".
The farmer replies, "That's odd. I only got 37 ".
The dog replies "Well, I rounded them up". - A farmer said to his friend, 'I love my job' The friend, unimpressed, replied 'Why, all you do is round up sheep!'
'What did you just say to me?!'
'You herd' - Two sheep are talking - It seems to me that a man and a dog are working together.
- If you don't drop your ridiculous conspiracy theories the whole herd will laugh at you. - "You can make alot of money nowadays by being a Shepherd and taking care of herds of Sheep. What do you think about that?!" "Meh"
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Sheep Herding One Liners
Which sheep herding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sheep herding? I can suggest the ones about shepherd and sheep and herding dog.
- What do you call a herd of sheep tumbling down a mountain? A lambslide.
- What did the insolent sheep mumble to the shepherd? You herd me.
- What did the sheep say to her abusive shepherd? You're herding me.
- My dad grew up herding sheep in Germany He was a German shepherd.
- Why do sheep not get covid? They have herd immunity.
- I love jokes about sheep dogs.. I won't be satisfied until I've herd them all.
- A shepherd was looking for a sheep that ran away Forget it, you've already herd this one.
- What did the sheep say to the sheepdog faking deafness? "You herd me!"
- Sheepdogs aren't used to herd sheep in Germany They use German Shepherds instead
- What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep? I herd that.
- What did the Shepard say when he saw the sheep? "I herd that!"
- Do you know about the group of hipster sheep? Never mind, you haven't herd of them.
- What do you call a big cat disguised to blend in with a herd of sheep? A sheopard.
Sheep Herding Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about sheep herding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shepherd jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sheep herding pranks.
White Baby
A [white] m**... is captured by a tribe of natives in the heart of Congo. He is left to wonder around camp, and eventually befriends the chief's daughter. Now, those indians live by herding sheeps across the plains. And so, one day, the m**... and the chief's daughter have s**... time in the middle of the flock, unseen. Trouble is, he gets her pregnant. and, obviously, his baby will be the only white baby in the tribe. So he goes up to the chief, who is a big proud man, and tells him:
- listen, chief, i, uh, got your daughter pregnant two weeks ago in the middle of your flock... And my baby will be the only white baby.. Can I marry her? And please, don't get mad.
The chief pauses, and thinks for a while.
- Okay, I won't get mad about white baby, but you don't say anything about black sheep.
A doctor visits an Indian tribe...
So a doctor visits a tribe of indians, when the chief of the tribe goes to him and tells him:
"Look, doctor, a white baby was born in tribe. How can there be white baby if we all indian?"
The doctor proceeds to tell him: "Well, you see, anything is possible in genetics. See that herd of sheep over there? They are all white, but in between all of them, there is a black one. See?"
The chief responds: "OK doctor, I say nothing about wihte kid, you say nothing of black sheep!"
A European m**... goes to an African tribe...
... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The m**... looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"
An albino child in an African tribe...
This puts the tribe's chief in a fury and immediatly summons the white m**... that was sent by the Church in his village.
Chief: "Explain the white kid, white man!"
Priest: "Well, you see, a white child amongst your black tribe is... like the black lamb that was recently born in your herd of white sheep, they..."
Chief, interrupting: "If... if you keep quiet about the black lamb, I'll keep quiet about the child."
A shepherd and his dog
In a sunny day in the fields, there is a shepherd and his dog herding their sheep's.
The shepherd asked his dog to round up the sheep to the fields. The dog went out and started herding the sheep's to the field.
After a while the dog returned and told the shepherd that he already rounded up 20 sheep's on the field. The shepherd was a bit confused because he did not have that many sheep's so he head out to the fields and counted his sheep. The shepherd counted 15 sheep's and wondered why his dog said 20.
He approached his dog and asked "there is only 15 sheep's in the field. Why did you say there were 20?"
The dog turns toward the shepherd and said "i know, but i rounded them up"
A sheep dog herds his sheep...
The farmer asks the dog, "Are my sheep ready?"
The dog answers, "Yes, all 30 of them!"
"Wait...I only counted 26," replies the farmer.
The dog tells the farmer, "Yeah, that's because I rounded them up!"
Two border collies are going to sleep on their farm.
Suddenly there is a loud noise from the sheep area.
Tom the border collie jumps up asking, "Did you hear that from the sheep, Boomer?"
Boomer the Collie: "Of course I herd them."
A Blonde Joke
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
A farmer comes home to find his sheepdog waiting for him.
The sheepdog says: "I herded the sheep into the barn, just like you asked!"
"You sure you got them all?" The farmer replies.
"Yep! All 40 of them!" Says the sheepdog.
"40? But I only have 37 sheep." Replies the farmer.
The sheepdog answers: "I know. I rounded them up for you."
Herding sheep.
A sheep herder is watching his dog herd all their sheep into a pen. The dog finishes and says "Master, I've got all 30 sheep in the pen". The man looks at the sheep, then back to the dog and says "but I only count 26". The dog says "I know, I rounded them up".
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
I love my job! exclaimed the farmer. All you do is boss me around all day! complained one of his sheep. What did you say? challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled...
You herd me.
A shepherd owned a remarkable dog, deft at sheep herding and able to speak.
At the end of the day, after his dog had herded the flock into the pen, the shepherd asked his canine friend to confirm how many sheep were in.
"40," the dog barked.
"40? I counted 37."
"Yes," replied the dog, "I rounded them up."
A Collie was talking about how hard he works on the farm where he lives.
A nearby sheep piped up 'YOU don't work hard, all you do is boss US around.' 'WHAT DID YOU SAY' shouted the collie. 'You herd me' the sheep replied
A farmer was sitting in his barn. After a long day he was admiring his work.
Farmer: I love my job
Sheep: Yeah cause all you do is boss us all day
The farmer not believing what just happened
Farmer: What did you just say..!?
Sheep: You herd us.
The guessing game
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown.
She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
\- "Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
\- "I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
\- "Hey lady," says the shepherd, "if I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"