Sheep Ewe Jokes

68 sheep ewe jokes and hilarious sheep ewe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sheep ewe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Sheep Ewe Short Jokes

Short sheep ewe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sheep ewe humour may include short sheep wool jokes also.

  1. Did you hear about the farmer who left her sheep out in the blizzard? She had to take them to the Icy Ewe ward.
  2. What do you call an ugly sheep? Ewe
    ^^[Admittedly, ^^it's ^^better ^^said ^^out ^^than ^^read ^^out.]
  3. I lacked confidence in my ability as a sheep shearer....until I started shearing female sheep.... Ewes make me feel like a natural woolman....
  4. Why did Russia assemble an army of female sheep and wading birds at the border? They were preparing for a ewe-crane invasion.
  5. What did Dolly the Sheep's friend say to her right after her clone was born? Look, it's a little ewe.
  6. My wife tells me that she can't stand sheep. I told her that I think that's a ewe problem.
  7. What was the first thing the farmers daughter said after watching a sheep give birth for the first time? Ewe
  8. That's baaad A sheep goes to see a doctor.
    "How are ewe doing today," he asks.
    "I'm a little horse," she says.
    "Ma'am," says the doctor, "I'm afraid you have a dissociative identity disorder."
  9. What did Gandalf say to the sheep farmer that wanted to cross his land? Ewe shall not pass.
  10. The Chuckle Brothers hold the record for the World's biggest sheep They've got a 2 metre ewe.

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Sheep Ewe One Liners

Which sheep ewe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sheep ewe? I can suggest the ones about shepherd and sheep and sheepdog.

  1. What did the sheep say when he dumped his girlfriend? It's not me, it's ewe
  2. What does a sheep’s Valentine’s Day card say? I love ewe.
  3. What did the fat sheep say to her husband? "I love being a round ewe"
  4. What did one indebted sheep say to the other? I owe ewe
  5. If I carved a sheep from this tree trunk, would you buy it bro? Wood ewe?!
  6. What's a sheep's favourite band? Ewe 2
  7. What did the gay sheep say when it saw a female sheep? Ewe.
  8. What did the baby sheep say to its mother on the phone? "Miss ewe!"
  9. What does the license plate of the sheep farmer say? Ewe haul.
  10. What does the IT sheep tell its clients? Ewe need more Ram!
  11. Did you hear about how Bane is breeding sheep? It's extremely painful.
    For ewe.
  12. How do you make sheep cheddar? Ewes milk.
  13. I consider you a female sheep Gotta say it aloud.
  14. What sort of transport does a sheep use? A ewe-nicycle
  15. What did the cyclops say to the sheep? "Ewe and eye make a great team."

Sheep Ewe Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about sheep ewe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flock of sheep jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sheep ewe pranks.

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: p**..., 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up

A sheep calls a s**... line...

Sheep: I'd ram you so hard.
Operator: Ewe are a baaaaaad boy!

Why would somebody punch a sheep?

Ewe wouldn't understand.

Professor San Holo

Prof San Holo was busy at his lab. He was experimenting with splicing genetic material from rams into eggs of bees. With global warming, certain species of flowering plants flourish while others perish. The idea was to give bees the ability to digest leaves and grass to make honey and thereby reduce the need to be reliant on nectar and pollen from flowers.
The first splicing was a disaster. The bee digestive system became dysfunctional.
The second attempt disrupted the honey production with lactose contaminant.
The bee grew tiny horns in the third!
He then tried DNA from a sheep and Eureka! Yes indeed. It worked because he
Made the Fourth Bee with Ewe.

Man creates taser for sheep

What happens next will SHOCK ewe!

Does a farmer eat female sheep?

Ewe, no.

What did the Scot say after shaggy his sheep?

I love ewe!

Did you know sheep really hate Pixar?

Never gonna give ewe up

What is the most valuable kind of sheep?

A ewe.

Why are sheep terrible drivers

Because they always need to do ewe turns

What do you call a drunk sheep?

D ewe I

A group of monks have an encounter with the almighty while tending their flower garden.

The experience so transforms them that they decide to form a new order, with a monastery, dedicated to growing flowers as a form of worship. Two years into the venture they realize that they are running out of funds and decide to begin selling some of their flowers as a way to raise funds to support their ministry and their way of life. Unfortunately a sheep from a nearby farm wandered into the monastery and quickly consumed all of their prize flowers.
It turns out only a ewe can prevent florist friars.

It's not my place to judge you for having s**... with a sheep.

You do ewe.

A Shepherd asks a Blacksmith, Can you help me find my sheep?

Blacksmith replies, That sounds like a ewe problem.

If most furries use owo...

Does that mean sheep furries use ewe?

What did the farmer say to the sheep when she told him she wanted to be a comedian?

Ewe must be joking.

A group of sheep walk into a buffet.

The waiter approaches the group and says, "the ladies can eat, but the men will only be able to order drinks".
"Baaa... care to explain yourself?" asks one of the rams
"I'm sorry Sir, but as the sign stated on the door, this is an all ewe can eat buffet".

What did the Romantic Hurricane say to the sheep covered volcano?

Eye Lava Ewe

What do you call a squished sheep?

(or, as the Valley girls say, "ahh.... Ewe!")

two sheep walk into a bar..

The barman says "oi you two out of ere!"
and a third sheep comes stumbling in "its 3 ewes mate!" as Bono packs up his microphome.

Every time I visit my Uncle's farm I think the sheep are pointing and laughing at me when I'm not looking..

Are ewe kidding me

Husband doing crossword with wife..

Husband : emphatic no, five letters
Wife : never
H : p**..., three letters
W : gun
H : disgust, three letters
W : ugh
H : charity, four letters
W : give
H : female sheep, three letters
W : ewe
H : Pixar movie, two letters
W : Up

Friends do crosswords

Friend 1: emphatic NO, five letters
Friend 2: Never
Friend 1: firearm, three letters
Friend 2: Gun
Friend 1: disgust, three letters
Friend 2: ugh
Friend 1: form of charity, four letters
Friend 2: give
Friend 1: female sheep, three letters
Friend 2: ewe
Friend 1: Pixar movie, two letters
Friend 2: up

What did the fish say when it saw a sheep inside a tub?

Water ewe doing?

Crossword solving husband

Husband doing crossword with his wife
Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: p**..., 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up

A husband is doing crosswords with his wife.

**Husband:** Emphatic no; five letters.
**Wife:** Never.
**H:** p**...; three letters.
**W:** Gun.
**H:** Disgust; three letters.
**W:** Ugh.
**H:** Charity; four letters.
**W:** Give.
**H:** Female sheep; three letters.
**W:** Ewe.
**H:** Pixar movie; two letters.
**W:** Up.

A young sheep, out to pasture, is suddenly cornered by a farmer and t**....

The young sheep faints of fright, and when he awakens immediately runs back to his flock.
Bleating wildly, he exclaims how could the farmer do this to me!
A wise elder sheep says, calm down, son. What happened?
The young sheep, still hysterical, cries i was the most beautiful ram in the whole flock! Then the farmer trapped me, put a yellow tag on my ear, cut off my tail, and the worst part is there's a rubber band around my t**...! How could this get any worse?!
The elder sheep looked at the frightened ram and sighed, you might want to sit down, I've got some bad news for ewe.

So I was doing crossword with my girlfriend,

Me: Emphatic no, five letters.
She: **Never**
Me: p**..., 3 letters.
She: **Gun**
Me: Disgust, 3 letters.
She: **Ugh**
Me: Charity, 4 letters.
She: **Give**
Me: Female sheep, 3 letters
She: **Ewe**
Me: Pixar movie, 2 letters
She: **Up**