Shaving Razor Jokes
29 shaving razor jokes and hilarious shaving razor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shaving razor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Shaving Razor Short Jokes
Short shaving razor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shaving razor humour may include short razor blade jokes also.
- Thank god for dollar shave club Now I can afford to put razors in all the Halloween candy.
- Whats the difference between a razor and an iron? You don't know? Geez, you must have trouble shaving.
- Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it... So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face
- LPT: You are over 100x more likely to cut your face with your razor while shaving than you are with a carrot.
- TIFU by trying to shave my sausage with a straight razor. I just broke my last straight razor.
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Shaving Razor One Liners
Which shaving razor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shaving razor? I can suggest the ones about razor and shave.
- My friend never learned to shave properly I guess her mom didnt razor right
- Why is success in the shaving industry so difficult? Razor thin margins.
- How do philosophers shave off their beards? Occam's razor
- Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
- I found the simplest, best way to shave You have to use Occam's Razor
- "A shave so good it feels like magic!" The new Penn Gillette razor.
- How does Nova shave her legs? She uses Archon's razor.
- My Wife is always cutting herself shaving... I guess her mum didn't razor right
Shaving Razor Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about shaving razor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean man shaving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shaving razor pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my friend if he would ever dare to shave his n**... with a straight razor
He said he tried it once while in college, but it was so bad that he hasn't got the b**... to try it again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I was younger, I used to shave my privates with a cut t**... razor.
I don't have the b**... to do it anymore
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Let's hear best "Confucius Say" jokes you got
My first Confucius Say joke was this:
>Confucius Says...Crowded Elevator Smell Different to Midget
Today while shaving in the shower I came up with this one
>Confucius Says...Man who shave n**... with straight razor will not have a ball
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A smooth close shave with a brand new razor blade is the best feeling in the world!
... was not the best thing to say to my wife shortly after s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?"
"Yea, I s**... with the electric razor."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A walks into a drug store in London
A man walks into a drugstore in London and ask the pharmacist for some American razor blades. The pharmacist asks if he is sure, because England makes the finest razor blades in the world. But the man insists on American razor blades.
"Have it your way" says the pharmacist, "but I can assure you that ours are the best. Just last week my wife accidentally swallowed one. It gave her a tonsillectomy, a hysterectomy, an appendectomy, circumcised the gardner, emasculated the chauffeur, cut two of the butler's fingers off, and I still got ten shaves out of it"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Lonely Rig Worker
An oil rig mechanic returns to his cabin after his shift and discovers his cabinmate sitting on the edge of his bunk, his feet in a basin, hastily scraping a razor over his soaped-up legs.
"Um, hey, what are you up to?" asks the mechanic.
"I was talking to old Joe in the canteen today," says his cabinmate, "and I mentioned I was feeling homesick. He told me that when he feels homesick, he shaves one of his legs before bed, and with a little imagination it feels like he's at home laying with his wife again. I thought it was a fantastic idea and ran straight back here."
"I've heard of guys doing that," says the mechanic, "but why are you shaving both legs?"
"Well, I'll be going home in a few days," he replies, "so tonight I'm having a t**...!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How contagious?
A middle aged father was in the bathroom one morning shaving before work, when his teenage daughter passed by the doorway, she came back a moment later and asked her father " dad I've got a very serious question for you" "ok" he replies go ahead, she then sheepishly asks, " um how contagious is h**..." stunned the father immediately thinks of nothing but to try and turn his daughter away from this type of activity, he replies with " oh honey, its very very contagious, any kind of contact will mean almost certain infection, I cant watch you 24/7, so all I can ask if you try and at least stay protected" the daughter backs away from the doorway and replies "well I was just asking because your using my razor and Im currently having a breakout."