Shaving Off Beard Jokes

66 shaving off beard jokes and hilarious shaving off beard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shaving off beard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Shaving Off Beard Short Jokes

Short shaving off beard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shaving off beard humour may include short shaving beard jokes also.

  1. My wife told me I should shave my beard. A few months ago, I would have maybe agreed with her, but now it has really grown on me.
  2. All this time I've been looking forward to when I can get a proper haircut again, and thinking I'll shave off this lockdown beard of mine. But over the past year, it's gradually grown on me.
  3. Went to shave my beard but decided not to, the longer I keep it, the more it grows on me. Sure this is old but actually thought this the other day.
  4. Now that No Shave November is over, I don't really want to shave off my beard It's growing on me
  5. My dad is always embarrassed about cutting himself while getting rid of his beard, so he locks himself in the bathroom... I guess he's just trying to shave face
  6. Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it... So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face
  7. When I started no shave November I thought I would be excited to shave again in December, but now I don't want to cut my beard at all. I think it's grown on me.
  8. What do you call it when Santa Claus gets cut shaving his beard? A nick.
  9. If a Bearded dragon shaves would that make it just a normal dragon 🤔
  10. I'm going to shave my beard. Her legs will look

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Shaving Off Beard One Liners

Which shaving off beard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shaving off beard? I can suggest the ones about shave beard and shaved beard.

  1. Who shaves every hour everyday and still has a beard? The barber
  2. Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard? A barber.
  3. I would shave my beard... but it's kind of grown on me.
  4. If women had beards.... They would shave them off and then draw them back on.
  5. Who shaves many times a day but still has a beard? The barber.
  6. I was thinking of shaving my beard But it really grew on me.
  7. Why did the hipster shave off his beard? To keep cool during the summer…
  8. I've considered shaving off my beard But it's starting to grow on me
  9. How do philosophers shave off their beards? Occam's razor
  10. Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
  11. Why do Jehovah's Witnesses believe Christ had no beard? Jesus shaves.
  12. I'm keeping my beard after No-Shave November. It's really starting to grow on me.
  13. Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard? Because he's no good at shaving.
  14. My beard is my life if I decided to shave off i will die!
  15. What do you do when you face the man who slept with your wife? You shave your beard.

Shaving Off Beard Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about shaving off beard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean growing beard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shaving off beard pranks.

Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.

Chuck Norris once s**... his beard.
People now call it Bigfoot.

Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.

"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.

Recently, I've started to do crosswords a lot.

Like those really cryptic ones you get in the weekend papers, with clues like 'fish worn on head, (5, 7,)', and stuff like that. I get really intense about them, though, and can't stand starting a new one until I've finished the last one. I refuse to use dictionaries and things on principle, and I'll sit and ponder them until something comes along.
Anyway, I'd been working on one for about a month straight, stuck on one last clue. I'd stopped going to work, stopped bathing, shaving. I barely ate, barely slept. I was pretty sure my girlfriend had left me because it had been a bit quiet, but I couldn't be sure.
Most of my mates had abandoned me, except my friend from Jamaica- good guy, great friend.
So, he came round to visit me, takeaway curry in hand, and sat down next to me. It took me a moment, but I realised he was there, and looked up at him.
"Come on", he said, "you've got to give up. It's not good for you"
"I can't", I replied through my luxurious crossword-beard, "I need to finish this one last thing, and then....and then I'll be fine. Fine. Promise"
He sighed, and shook his head, but gestured anyway. "Alright, what is it?"
"Great in scale and size. Awe-inspiring. Impressive. Ten letters"
"No I'm not, I just really want to finish this crossword"

Two 14-year-old Muslim boys have been suspended from school in Accrington for refusing to shave off their beards.

The head teacher said, "We will not tolerate a school environment where it's impossible to tell the boys from the girls."

The beard (no, not that, an actual beard)

A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would hate me."
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again.
"Oh really, I can't," he replies. "My wife loves this beard!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

I s**... the bottom half of my beard today, it was terrifying...

it was a neard death experience.

Why did the Native American shave his beard? (OC)

Because it was Apache

I really didn't like how I look after I s**... off my beard...

...but now it is starting to grow on me.

Zayn Malik has a full beard now.

He only shaves in one direction.

Wife vs. Girlfriend vs. beard

A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard.
Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.
James replied, My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!
Oh please? the girlfriend asked again, in a s**... little voice…
Oh really, I can't, he replied. My wife loves this beard!!
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in and s**... his face smooth.
That night James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife was awakened somewhat, felt his face and replied, Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!

I haven't s**... my beard in a couple days

It's starting to grow on me

About to hit my yeard, and I realized that not shaving for so longer beforehand made my commitment stronger

It was then that I realized that absence makes the beard grow longer.

was trimming my beard with my jumper today

it was a **clothes** shave...

Did you hear about that guy who made millions of dollars by donating all his beard hair?

He s**... a fortune

TIFU by telling my brother-in-law I s**... my beard.

He wondered why I would want his sister to be bald.

What happened when the student s**... his beard in ceramics class?

Hairy pottery

I used to know a guy who s**... around six or seven times a day and still had a beard at the end of the day

He was a Barber.

I always shave my beard after having s**...

... so I can remind my wife for how long we've not been doing it.

All the paintings of Jesus are wrong. He never had a beard.

Because Jesus shaves.

No Shave November

At first I didn't like the f**... hair I had.
But as I waited I started to like the beard more and more.
One might say its...
Growing on me.

I used to know a guy who s**... around six or seven time's a day

I used to know a guy who s**... around six or seven time's a day and still have a beard at the end of the day, he was a barber.

When I s**... my beard, my wife was happy, she said it made me look younger.

When I suggested she s**... hers to make her look younger she was not happy.

When I picked up my date I explained how I had s**... off my entire beard for her.

Then I looked at her and asked why she hadn't done the same for me

A bearded man walks into a bar

"Everybody's drinks are on me tonight"
He then drank his beer, went to the restroom and s**... his beard
later he went to the bartender and asked : "how much should I pay ?"
"no sir, a bearded gentleman has paid for your drink tonight"
"ok", and he left

A man tells his friend that his wife is one of twins. 'It must be difficult telling them apart' says the friend.

'Oh, it is' says the man 'Especially now her brother's s**... his beard off'