Shaved Head Jokes
32 shaved head jokes and hilarious shaved head puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shaved head that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Shaved Head Short Jokes
Short shaved head jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shaved head humour may include short shaved hair jokes also.
- What do you call it when a person shaves their head bald to blend in with cancer patients?... Chemoflage
- A man goes to a barber shop... "How much for a haircut?"
"$20" answers the barber.
"What about shaving?"
"$10"
"Okay, shave my head, please." - When I saw an old friend from school, he asked why I was bald. I replied "cancer." "Cancer?"
"Yeah I asked the barber if he could shave my head, and he 'I sure cancer!'" - Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head? So he could badly go where no man has gone before.
- What did the barber say to the chemotherapy patient? You want me to shave your head? Of course I cancer.
- I always liked doing bets...so I swear I'll shave my head... ...if the cancer results come back positive.
- I'm sick of emo kids walking school around with their s**... heads Oh wait, that's the chemo kids
- Was just thinking that if I s**... and shined my scalp and stood out in the sun, I could blind passersby or start a fire. Just some random reflections off the top of my head.
- The dog ran off last night. I spent 20 minutes in the park looking for him. The wife said I should try looking harder. So I s**... my head and got a tattoo, but I still can't find him.
- I s**... my head the other day... At first I hated the look, but it's starting to grow on me.
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Shaved Head One Liners
Which shaved head one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shaved head? I can suggest the ones about shave haircut and bald head.
- Why did ancient Egyptians shave their heads? To be more pharaohdynamic.
- Why do Egyptians shave their heads? To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
- Now why don't sumo wresters shave their heads? To avoid being mistaken for n**....
- What did h**... say when the barber s**... his head? Mine hair!!
Gather Around for Fun Shaved Head Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about shaved head you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shaved face jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shaved head pranks.
A man driving down a winding country lane noticed two people on the road.
They were wearing robes and sandals, had s**... heads and holding up signs.
One sign read "The End is Near!"
The other sign read "Change Before it's Too Late!"
He slowed the car and rolled down the window. "Get lost you religious nuts!" He yelled.
He sped off round the corner. There was a squeal of brakes and a loud splash.
One of the sign- holders turned to the other and said "Maybe we should simply write 'warning: bridge ahead closed'"
A boy from the backcountry was drafted into the Army.
On the first day, they issued him a comb. Later that day, the barber s**... his head.
The next day, they issued him a toothbrush. Later that day, the dentist pulled three of his teeth.
The next day, they issued him a jockstrap.
He has been AWOL ever since.
My young daughter asked me this morning....
My young daughter asked me this morning, "Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night? I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream."
"Nothing, darling," I replied.
It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half-s**... head.
I lost my wedding ring the other day
Had a quick check under the sofa but wasn't really that bothered until the missus came home and told me to look harder.
So I got a tattoo and s**... my head but I still couldn't find it.
Two 14-year-old Muslim boys have been suspended from school in Accrington for refusing to shave off their beards.
The head teacher said, "We will not tolerate a school environment where it's impossible to tell the boys from the girls."
My n**... Days Are Over
My n**... days are over, my pilot light is out.
What used to be my s**... appeal, is now my waterspout.
Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full-time job, to find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.
For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues,
to see it hang its little head, and watch me tie my shoes!
A barber, a bald guy and a professor go for a night camp in a jungle.
They decide to guard one by one during the night. Barber's turn comes first. Others sleep.
While guarding, he gets bored and amuses himself by shaving the professor's head.
Then professor's turn comes. He touches and feels his bald head and thinks, "Idiot barber has woken up the bald guy by mistake".
What's the difference between shaving a red head's p**... and diffusing a bomb?
When you diffuse a bomb, you only have to cut one red wire.
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head s**.
.. and is bisexual.
She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
A priest goes to the barber and has his hair cut.
He wants to pay but the barber says it is free of charge for a man of faith. The next morning the barber finds 5 silver coins in front of his door.
A buddhist goes to the barber and has his head s**.... He wants to pay but the barber says it is free of charge for a man of faith. The next morning the barber finds 5 gold coins in front of his door.
A rabbi goes to the barber and has his hair trimmed. He wants to pay but the barber says it is free of charge for a man of faith. The next morning the barber finds 5 rabbis in front of his door.
A two foot tall man named Shaw is sentenced to five years in prison
So naturally he's scared. In particular, he's scared of a large Dutch prisoner named Reedemps, who runs the cell block and gives the diminutive Shaw beatings on the regular.
Shaw makes friends with his cell mate, Joe, who is also afraid of Reedemps, Together, they hash out a plan to get revenge. Joe will get Reedemps to chase him, and Shaw will be waiting with a toothbrush he's s**... into a plastic knife.
The next day at lunch Joe dumps his prison lunch chili on Reedemps' head and runs into a closet. Reedemps opens the closet, where Joe kills the lights and yells:
Shaw! Shank Reedemps' shin!
An idiot, a barber, and a bald man go on a journey...
At some point in the journey, they decide to set up camp for the night, so they agree to stay awake in four hour shifts to guard their stuff. The barber, having the first shift, gets bored and so ends up shaving the idiot's head. When his shift ends, he wakes up the idiot, who has the second shift. As he's coming to, the idiot rubs his head and finds he has no hair. "That barber is a right m**...!" he exclaims, "He's got it all wrong and woken the bald man instead of me!"
(this joke from the Philogelos, is over a thousand years old
A barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor take a journey together...
They have to camp overnight, and so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says "How s**... is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me.
I saw this joke on the Wikipedia article for "joke." It's interesting how, even though this joke is from the third or fourth century, it's still humorous today.
A Buddhist monk goes to a barber
... to have his head s**.... "What should I pay you?" the monk asks. "No price, for a holy man such as yourself," the barber replies. And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen gemstones.
That day, a priest comes in to have his hair cut. "What shall I pay you, my son?" "No price, for a man of the cloth such as yourself." And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen roses.
That day, Rabbi Finklestein comes in to get his *payoss* [sideburns] trimmed. "What do you want I should pay you?" "Nothing, for a man of God such as yourself." And the next morning, what do you know?
The barber finds on his doorstep — a dozen rabbis!