Shaved Face Jokes
17 shaved face jokes and hilarious shaved face puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shaved face that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Shaved Face Short Jokes
Short shaved face jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shaved face humour may include short shaved beard jokes also.
- My dad is always embarrassed about cutting himself while getting rid of his beard, so he locks himself in the bathroom... I guess he's just trying to shave face
- People say that real men don't shave... As if running sharp blades across your face is less manly than doing nothing at all.
- Back in high school, I had this very bad beard and everyone would make fun of for it... So I had to start using a razor to *shave* face
- LPT: You are over 100x more likely to cut your face with your razor while shaving than you are with a carrot.
Share These Shaved Face Jokes With Friends
Shaved Face One Liners
Which shaved face one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shaved face? I can suggest the ones about shaved hair and shaved head.
- What do you do when you face the man who slept with your wife? You shave your beard.
- I don't even like using a straight razor. I just use it to shave face.
Shaved Face Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about shaved face you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shave haircut jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shaved face pranks.
"A Marine and his commanding officer.....!!!"
A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!" The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like."
Aftershave's aftereffects.
A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like.
A pastor cuts his chin while shaving one Sunday morning.
He hurriedly puts a band-aid on and rushes to his church for the 10:00 am service.
Afterwards, a member of the congregation, an older woman, comes up to the pastor and asks, "Excuse me, but what happened to your face?" The pastor replies "I was thinking about my sermon and I cut my chin." The old lady rolls her eyes and says "Maybe you should think about your chin, and cut your sermons."
A Close Shave
An older man getting his hair cut said to the barber, I have very loose skin on my face so I can never seem to get a good close shave. Any ideas?
The barber handed him a small wooden ball and said, Place this in your mouth and roll it around to whichever side I'm shaving. It will stretch out the skin and I'll give you the best shave you've had in years.
The man did what the barber said and sure enough. his face was smooth as silk after the shave. He spit out the wooden ball and said, I just have one question- What would happen if I accidentally swallowed that wooden ball?
You'd bring it back in a few days, like everyone else does.
The curious case of the lost washcloth
There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day the little boy walked in and saw his mother n**..., he asked his mother what was the hair in between her legs?
She responded, "It's my washcloth".
Weeks later after the mother had the baby, the young boy walked
in on his mother again, but while she was in the hospital the
doctor s**... her p**... hair, and the boy asked his mother:
"What happened to your washcloth?"
The mother responded, "I lost it".
The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his
mother's washcloth. A few days later the little boy went running
to his mother yelling and screaming,
"I found your washcloth!"
The mother thinking that the child was just playing went along
with the boy and asked,
"Where did you find it?"
The boy answered, "The maid has it and she's washing daddy's face with it."
Wife vs. Girlfriend vs. beard
A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard.
Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.
James replied, My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!
Oh please? the girlfriend asked again, in a s**... little voice…
Oh really, I can't, he replied. My wife loves this beard!!
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in and s**... his face smooth.
That night James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife was awakened somewhat, felt his face and replied, Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!
The beard (no, not that, an actual beard)
A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would hate me."
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again.
"Oh really, I can't," he replies. "My wife loves this beard!"
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"
A little boy saw his mother n**.....
and asked her, "What is that between your legs?"
The woman, having not s**... her p**... hair in a while, says, "It's my wash cloth, darling." The woman shaves her p**... hair that night.
A few days later, the boy sees his mother n**... again. "Mom, where did your wash cloth go?"
"I lost it, darling," his mother replies.
A few days after that, the mom comes home to the excited little boy. "Mommy, mommy, I found your wash cloth!!"
"Where, darling?" She asked, confused.
"The lady next door was washing dad's face with it!"
A Lesson in English
Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform in bed. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.
The medicine man says, "I can cure this." That said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
Then he says, "This is powerful medicine. You can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123'"
The guy then asks, "What happens when I want the effect to go away."
The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234. But be warned - it will not work again for another year."
Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers.
That night he is ready to surprise Joyce. He showers, shaves, and puts on his best shaving lotion. He gets into bed, and lying next to her says, "123." It works better than he thought.
Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, "What did you say 123 for?"
And now you know why you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition