Shat Jokes
49 shat jokes and hilarious shat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Shat Short Jokes
Short shat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shat humour may include short pooping jokes also.
- What are they going to use to build the wall? The brick that were s**... by people when Trump became president.
- My roomate accused me of stealing her clothes the other day. I got so scared I nearly s**... her pants
- So my neighbour... So my neighbour asks me if I've been stealing her clothes off of her washing line, I was so shocked I almost s**... in her pants!
- Last night, my girlfriend was aggressively yelling and screaming in the other room when she couldn't find her favourite underwear... ... man, I nearly s**... her pants.
- Why did Captain Kirk's wife smell? Because William Shatner (s**... on her).
I'll get my coat. - Yesterday, my neighbor accused me of stealing clothes from her dryer. She was so angry I nearly s**... her pants!
- Have you ever walked into a room and forgot what you went in for? I done it the other day, I walked in and completely forgot why - my mind went blank.
3 seconds later I s**... myself. - There are two types of people in the world; those who've s**... themselves... and those who lie about having s**... themselves.
- What did Captain Kirk do when his girlfriend told him she had a defecation f**...? William s**...-on-her
- I went into a pesticide shop and asked the owner if he had anything for flies. s**... idiot s**... in my hand.
Share These Shat Jokes With Friends
Shat One Liners
Which shat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shat? I can suggest the ones about pee and seagull.
- Did you hear about the butterfly that ate too many stones? ... he s**...-a-pillar.
- -Dad, Dad, do farts have weight? -No Timmy, they don't.
-Then I s**... myself. - What happened when Sean Connery bought himself a little kitten? The cat s**... on the mat.
- I slept like a baby last night... I woke up every 15 minutes and then s**... myself
- I slept like a baby last night... ...I woke up screaming because I had s**... myself
- What happened with a depressed man that had diarrhea ? He s**... himself
- I slept like a baby last night I s**... my pants and woke up every two hours
- I slept like a baby last night I cried and s**... my pants all night long
- Roses are brown... Violets are brown... Wait...Who s**... in my garden?
- A wet f**... Should be called a Schrodinger's s**...
- I s**... myself in front of a bunch of pandas yesterday. That's an embarrassment
- There was an enormous spider on the toilet seat this morning. I s**... myself.
- Why did Sean Connery get up out of his bus seat? Because he s**... on it.
- Why doesn't mary like star trek? Because William s**... in her
- Why does the starship enterprise smell bad? coz william s**...-n-er.
Entertaining Shat Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about shat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shat pranks.
Drunk guy at a bar
So there's a drunk guy at a bar and all of a sudden he starts to v**.... Oh no, I vomited on my t-shirt, my wife is gonna kill me! Says the drunkard. Let me help you with that , says the bartender. The bartender goes to the drunk guy and says: tell your wife some idiot vomited on your t-shirt and gave you 10 dollar for the inconvenience. Off he goes, the drunk guy.. he tells his wife the story and hands her 20 dollar. But you said 10 dollar , replies his wife. Yes but the idiot also s**... in my pants!
My grandpa was telling me about when he used to hunt tigers.
He said, "this one time I was alone in the jungle when out of the bushes, right in front of me, a huge tiger leaped out suddenly and went RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!! Kid, you won't believe it, I s**... myself."
I raised my eyebrows. "You bet I believe it, I'd have s**... myself too if that happened to me."
"That's not what I mean g**..., go fetch me some toilet paper."
Shatner?
I didn't even know her.
I was stood in the Chemist..
And I said to the lady behind the counter, Do you have anything that will clear up Diarrhoea?
We have some Imodium plus, if that's what you mean, she replied.
No, I don't think you understand my question. I just s**... on your floor.
Some idiot at my work opened up every cabinet in our records department, pulled out all the folders, put them on a pile on the floor, then s**... all over it.
Now I have to spend tomorrow refiling the aisles of files he defiled in a pile on the tile.
How did the shattering glass get everyone's attention?
"Let me be loud and clear!"
A sailor is being asked by a reporter
"Was there ever a situation in your voyages when you were afraid?"
"Yeah, once we were transporting a container of 500.000 dolls. A storm just started and the ship leaned hard on its side. At that moment all the dolls cried "MAMA"...That's when I s**... myself with fear."
I was asked to leave the local swimming pool today as the large bulge in my Speedos was upsetting some of the other swimmers.
I pointed out another guy in similar trunks and asked why he was not being asked to leave.
Because he hasn't s**... himself, was the reply.
What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light?
Neither, it's diarrhea.
Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already s**... yourself.
The fastest thing.
Three friends are having a conversation. o**... asks, 'What do you think is the fastest thing ever?'. The first guy responds 'It's the light'. The second guy goes 'It's thought'. The third guy responds 'It's diarrhea'. The first guy is suprised and asks 'Why is diarrhea the fastest?'. The third guy responds 'Because even before I thought about turning the lights on in the washroom, I s**... myself.
What shatters faster than your smartphone screen?
A newborn with osteoporosis.
Plane Related Joke
I flew TransAtlantic last month. I couldn't believe it when I saw my old mate Jack on the same flight. I shouted out "Hi Jack!" And six Yanks s**... themselves.
When you're mother gave birth
I heard that when your mother was giving birth, she accidentaly s**... all over the floor...
You seem to be fine, but how's the baby?
