Sharp Knife Jokes

19 sharp knife jokes and hilarious sharp knife puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sharp knife that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Sharp Knife Short Jokes

Short sharp knife jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sharp knife humour may include short pocket knife jokes also.

  1. Why did the spoon come to the party dressed as a knife? The invitation said to look sharp.
  2. *mugger pulls a knife* Mugger: gimme your money
    Me: well this night took a SHARP turn
    Doctor: it's a record for amount of stabs
  3. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife................
  4. When cooking, I sometimes talk to my knife. I talk to it about my current life situations.
    The knife tells me I'm crazy.
    It tends to be pretty sharp about these things, so I guess it has a point.
  5. My girlfriend introduced me to her father and mentioned I was a knife salesman He said he's happy she's dating me because I must be pretty sharp.
  6. What did the man say about his kitchen? I hate it. The knifes think they're so sharp, the refrigerator thinks that he's so cool, and my freezer is cold-hearted.
  7. Why should you always carry a knife around? Because sharp wits won't always give you the edge.

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Sharp Knife One Liners

Which sharp knife one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sharp knife? I can suggest the ones about knife and sharpener.

  1. A knife walks into a bar... the bartender says, "hey you're looking sharp!"
  2. "This surgical knife isn't sharp," ...Dr. Swiftie said bluntly.
  3. What did one knife say to the other Lookin' sharp
  4. You brought a pun to a knife fight? That wasn't very sharp....
  5. What do you call it when you are mugged with a knife? A sharp turn

Sharp Knife Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about sharp knife you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean butter knife jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sharp knife pranks.

A story about kinks and b**...

I started dating this girl with a really weird f**... -- she's got a very nice pair of k**..., and she loves having it smacked loudly. She really gets off from the pain and from the really loud POP sound that the slap of skin-on-skin can make. Recently, she's been getting more k**... about it, and she's escalated to asking me to hit her rack with more and more painful objects. It started with a ruler, then the flat of a large bread knife. The past few weeks, she's been asking me to use a pair of sharp scissors, but I lost them last night and I've been looking for them all day.
I apologized, but she's really upset that I lost her rack popper scissors.

7 mildly offensive jokes

**What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? **
A speech impediment.
**What's the Cuban National Anthem? **
Row row row your boat.
**What's the fastest way to a man's heart? **
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
**Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a r**... baby? **
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
**Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? **
Because those men already have boyfriends.
**What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? **
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
**What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? **
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.