Share Birthday Jokes
10 share birthday jokes and hilarious share birthday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about share birthday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Giggle-Inducing Share Birthday Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What is a good share birthday joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
First attempt at writing a joke!
I started a new job this week.
On my first day it was my co-worker Frank's birthday; we gathered around his desk to sing happy birthday and share a cake.
Just as we finished singing the office door slammed open.
In strides a creature: upper body of a man, lower body of a horse. He screams LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY and proceeds to grab Frank's cake and gallop out of the office with it.
I was dumbfounded but my new colleagues just rolled their eyes: "oh thats just Bill" they said "always the Centaur of attention."
A penguin goes into a pub...
At the bar the peanuts say:
"Nice tie Mr!"
In the toilets the c**... machine says :
"You look s**... in that tie"
So he complains to the barman. The barman says :
"the peanuts are complimentary but the c**... machine is out of order"
This was the best joke of my birthday cards this morning, so thither I would share.
I told my wife that I have the same birthday as Adolf h**....
She said, "It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people, shares the same birthday as Adolf h**...."
I had a birthday cake and decided to share it with my friend.
I decided to cut one quarter of the cake and gave it to him and I kept the rest for myself.
He started crying and whining about how selfish I was.
Me: Alright, so if you were in my position what would you do?
Friend: If it was my birthday cake, I would give you the bigger piece and keep the smaller piece for myself because I'm not selfish.
Me: But that's exactly what I just did so what are you complaining about?
Why is 18 year old Scotch better than a 18 year old girl?
An 18 y.o. Scotch is less expensive, and you don't have to remember it's birthday. An 18 y.o.Scotch does not care if you try another Scotch. An 18 y.o. Scotch is mature, well mannered and good alone or shared. An 18 y.o. Scotch won't make you look like a child m**.... And most impotantly, a 18 y.o. Scotch doesn't try to talk to you.
My friend's birthday
My friend ordered a cake with his own portrait as icing for his birthday and then ate it all without sharing with anyone
I guess he's so full of himself
Wife's birthday gift
Just got one-upped by my coworker on break, thought I'd share:
Me: Wife's birthday is in a few days.
Him: Oh? What are you getting her?
Me: Off ;)
Me: Seriously though, probably just something small.
Him: That's what she said :D
Me: ಠ\_ಠ
This man was a really hard worker...
He worked day in, day out, and put all of his energy into his job. One day his friend was visiting. His friend said "So, it's your birthday coming up, and I was wondering what you wanted." The man replied "Man, all I want is a break, but I don't want to have to wait until my birthday for it." After a little more conversing, his friend left. A while later, he came back to the man and said "Sorry it took so long, I had to take my bike apart!"
This joke was made up by my 10 year old brother, and he wanted me to share it with you guys, so here it is!
Three women share a birthday and celebrate it together
For their 40th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the waiters are cute and wear tight pants.
For their 50th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because the prices are reasonable and it has a good wine list.
For their 60th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because its quiet and has a nice view.
For their 70th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because its wheelchair accessible.
For their 80th birthday they go to the Lakeview restaurant because they've never been there before.
Oh, Dave!
Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local s**... club for his birthday.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink."
"No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them."
A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi, Davey," she says, "Want your usual lap dance?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. His wife starts screaming at him.
The cabbie turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real doozy this time, Dave!"
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