The Best 62 Shape Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Shape jokes. There are some shape form jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these shape polygons puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Shape Jokes and Puns

Two Cops were waiting outside of a bar at closing time......

.....waiting to pop drunk drivers.

A man comes out of the bar, and he is obviously in rough shape. He is weaving all over the place, and almost falls when he trips on a curb. He fumbles with his car keys for almost two minutes, dropping them several times before he finally unlocks his car. He gets in, starts the car, and drives off.

Needless to say, the cops follow him: for several miles. The man's driving was flawless, perfect and in accordance with all traffic laws.

Finally, they decide to pull him over anyway. They turn on their lights. He pulls over instantly. They ask him to step out of the car; he calmly complies. They check his license; it is valid, and clean. They give him several field sobriety tests, each harder than the last. He passes all with flying colors.

The two cops look at each other, then the man, and ask "Sir, you aren't drunk, are you?"

"No, I'm not," says the man.

"Then why were you acting drunk when you left the bar?"

"I'm tonight's DD."

"Designated Driver?"

"No, I'm the Designated Decoy. All of my drunk friends drove off the other way."

Did you hear about the transformer who lost his ability to change into a seven-sided shape?

He's a de-septagon.

I've been to a mate's funeral today; he drowned last week...

I got a lot of abuse for my floral tribute in the shape of a life belt.

They said it was in bad taste but I think it's what he would have wanted.

Shape joke, I've been to a mate's funeral today; he drowned last week...

A great cardiologist is being buried.

All of his colleagues and fellow surgeons are reunited to mourn his. All except for one man who is laughing. The cardiologist's coffin was in the shape of a heart to honor his career. The man continues to laugh. Finally they ask him why he is so happy at a funeral and he responds "I was picturing my funeral because I'm a gynecologist".

My friend drowned last week

My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted.

-Milton Jones


Yesterday at yoga

Yesterday at yoga, the instructor told us to make a flower shape by putting our hands together. She kept saying to take deep breaths and focus on our flowers. Towards the end of the exercise she told us to smell our flowers and just say out loud what our flowers smelt like. I don't think she appreciated it when I said Vaseline and shame.

Why was Jesus in such good shape when he died?

He was Cross-Fit.

Shape joke, Why was Jesus in such good shape when he died?

What shape is your hair in the morning?

A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)

How do you get your hair into shape?

You condition it

How do hair stylists get in shape?

Curling Iron.

I'm so out of shape

Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me

You can explore shape exercise reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean shape trapezoid dad jokes. There are also shape puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I knew someone who died in a skydiving accident.

Their funeral wreath was in the shape of a parachute.

After all, that's what they would've wanted.

When I said I wanted an origami book...

I didn't mean a regular book in the shape of a butterfly.

My friend Dave drowned yesterday

his funeral is on Wednesday. I've made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It's what he would have wanted.

Where do shapes go to pay for their crimes?

A prism.

How does Jesus stay in shape?

He does crossfit.

Shape joke, How does Jesus stay in shape?

What do you call a six sided shape that's missing?

A hex-a-gone

[body shape - help request] M, 18, struggling to get rid of a body fit for a 46 year old...

Seriously guys, do I cut it up or just bury it whole?

Most Intelligent But Funniest

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible. The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it. The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock. The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.


Dave drowned

So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. It's what he would have wanted.

(Gary Delaney)

I don't understand how a priest can be out of shape...

They're always exorcising.

I`m not getting any younger so.....

I decided to get in shape by going to the local gym. I said to the trainer "Which machine should I use for best results in attracting women." He said "There`s one outside never fails, it`s called an ATM."

To get in shape, I need to pick up a sport as a hobby...

I was thinking about competitive eating.

I tried to rob a bank using jello cast in the shape of a gun

The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon

Just got back from a friends funeral who drowned last week.

I got a lot of abuse from the relatives about my floral tribute in the shape a life jacket. But as I told everyone "It's what he would have wanted"

You're the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. I only go to work and become a better person because of you. You make me workout on weekends and get in shape. And I try to turn you on every night.

I love you, alarm clock.

What do you call a nine sided shape that won't reveal its identity?

Anonogon.

Six months ago, my wife asked me to get in shape.

Since then, I have been eating everything in sight. Today I am proud to say that I am a circle!

How did Jesus get in such good shape?

Crossfit

My new year's resolution is to stay out of shape

Maybe I won't stick with this one either.

The Shape of Water?

More like Grinding Nemo, amirite?

I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun

The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.

I'm so out of shape

I can't even jog my memory!

How does Thanos keep in shape?

With a balanced diet.

My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring

The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it every day.

I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.

It was a sham rock.

Little Johnny, The UPS Guy, And Johnny's Mom

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

Being a writer keeps me in great physical shape

I'm always running out of ideas.

How did Jesus keep in such great shape?

CrossFit.

I just got home from a close friends funeral, he drowned last week......!

I was surprised that all the relatives were furious about my floral arrangement that was in the shape of a life jacket. But as I told everyone, "It's what he would have wanted".

Roger decided he was in no shape to drive as he walked out of the bar

So he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman.

'What are you doing out here at three o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.

'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time of night?' enquired the constable sarcastically.

'My wife,' slurred Roger grimly.

There were plans to change the design of the 21st letter of the alphabet but Ed Sheeran stopped them

He's in love with the shape of u

My friend Dave drowned.

At his funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebuoy. It's what he would've wanted.

Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.

When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.

Walking home drunk

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer.
"I'm going to a lecture." The man said.
"And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked.
"My wife," said the man.

Han Solo ordered a steak in the shape of a Wookie.

He sent it back to the kitchen because it was a little chewy.

I wish to go back to the time I had sex with a Rectangle...

...it was the best shape I'd ever been in.

We should not in any way, shape, or form make fun of female's time of the month

Period.

My wife said I am going to cycle 10 miles every day to get my body back in shape, I said good girl go for it, I have noticed a massive difference after just 4 weeks.

She is 280 miles away.

I got frustrated when my friend couldn't draw a 2 sided closed shape.

But then I decided to let bi-gons be bygones.

I got my friend a cake in the shape of Pac Man

At least that's what I told him when he saw it.

I'm so out of shape there's no way I can out run a demon.

So I really need to start exorcising.

I'm looking to sell my DeLorean. Good shape, low mileage...

Only driven from time to time.

What does Bigfoot do to keep his glutes in shape?

Sasquats

An American pilot is flying over the Australian outback.

He suddenly loses control of the plane and crashes. The next thing he knows he wakes up in a hospital. He figures he's in pretty bad shape but he wants to know for sure so when he sees a nurse he stops her.



"Did I come here to die?"



"No," the Australian replied. "You came here yesterday."

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematicians have to build a fence around a flock of sheep, using as little material as possible.

The engineer forms the flock into a circular shape and constructs a fence around it.

The physicist builds a fence with an infinite diameter and pulls it together until it fits around the flock.

The mathematicians thinks for a while, then builds a fence around himself and defines himself as being outside.

To get in shape I had a bike made out of taffy but I never rode it

It was a viscous cycle

I wanted to get in shape so I thought I'd try a British gym...

I gained 5 kilos and lost 70 pounds

I really don't understand how Karen's aren't in better shape...

They're always stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions

An exercise for people who are not in good shape.

Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to 10-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

An archeologist was doing his job one day...

...when he uncovered an ancient-looking stone carving in the shape of the Arabic letter D . When his site manager saw this, he told the archeologist to put it back where he found it and to never dig up something like that again. The archeologist asked the site manager why.

He replied, I like the way you're working, but no dig a D.

I regret posting this already.

How did Jesus stay in shape?

CrossFit.

From my 13 yr old son. What do you call a pizza in the shape of a cookie?

A pizza

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the shape geometric jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working shape physique piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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