Shampoo Jokes
113 shampoo jokes and hilarious shampoo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shampoo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make everyone in the room laugh with these hilarious shampoo jokes! From silly puns about lye, dry shampoo, and hair spray, to hysterical jokes aboutdog shampoo, these jokes are sure to make everyone smile. Get ready to rinse and repeat!
Quick Jump To
- Short Shampoo Jokes
- Shampoo One Liners
- Hair Shampoo Jokes
- Dog Shampoo Jokes
- Dry Shampoo Jokes
- More Shampoo Jokes
Funniest Shampoo Short Jokes
Short shampoo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shampoo humour may include short hair conditioner jokes also.
- I bought coconut shampoo today, but when I got home, I realized... I don't even *have* a coconut...
- Quick question... How much of this "No More tear" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?
- In a surprising announcement, Head & Shoulders have decided to discontinue their popular anti dandruff shampoo line. The decision left many scratching their heads.
- Testing products on animals Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
Guy: Ya. But we make hammer. - A programmer got stuck in the shower because... The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat." - Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"... …have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
- A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
CEO: Yeah but we make hammers - Asked 100 women what shampoo they were using. 2 said Head and Shoulders The other 98 replied "How did you get in here?"
- My father told me that I should condition more and shampoo less I told him to stop getting in the shower with me
- I bought coconut shampoo the other day but it wasn't until I got home that I realized... ...I don't even have a coconut...
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Shampoo One Liners
Which shampoo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shampoo? I can suggest the ones about hair wash and hair product.
- Have you heard about the shampoo crisis in jamaica? It's dreadful
- If you ate a ShamWow what would come out? Shampoo
- Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo? for meatier showers.
- I tried oatmeal shampoo for the first time today But it just made my oatmeal worse.
- Since they have Batman shampoo Why do we not have Conditioner Gordon
- Riddle me this: Why do we have Batman shampoo but conditioner Gordon isn't a thing?
- Stop washing your hair with shampoo! Insist on REAL poo!
- I accidentally used the dog's shampoo this morning I feel like a good boy.
- I think my shampoo is making me fat... ...it says guaranteed to increase the Volume
- I used to be a shampoo addict... But i'm clean now.
- If you only use shampoo ... Then you love your hair unconditionally
- What kind of shampoo did Ozzy Osbourne get his kids? No More Tears
- What was the executioner's favorite shampoo? Head and shoulders.
- What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo? Conditioner Gordon.
- If I was rich, I would never again buy shampoo. I would buy realpoo!
Hair Shampoo Jokes
Here is a list of funny hair shampoo jokes and even better hair shampoo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- FINALLY! BLONDE MEN JOKES: A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers "Yes but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair and I just wet mine."
- I wash my hair with fake turds Some call it shampoo
- I bought some "no more tears" shampoo but her hair still tore right out!
- John wanted to take a shower at his mates His mate says "did you find the shampoo?"
John replies "Yes, but it says 'For Dry Hair' and I've just wet mine!" - What did the shower say to the shampoo? GET OUTTA HAIR!
- I'm in my 20's and today I used baby shampoo to wash my hair... ...and I've never felt so immature.
- Why does your hair always still stink after you shower? Because you use shamPOO 🤣😂🤣
- This shampoo was supposed to give my hair volume But I can't really hear anything.
- I'm really glad they invented shampoo. imagine having to wash your hair with real p**...?
- What's the difference between a lawyer and head lice? One is a blood s**... parasite that is hard to get out of your hair, and the other can be killed with a special shampoo.
Dog Shampoo Jokes
Here is a list of funny dog shampoo jokes and even better dog shampoo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An animal rights advocate got really upset with me after I told them that I wash my dog with my own shampoo instead of pet shampoo... ...I reassured her that it had already been tested on animals.
- My sister got upset that I washed our puppy with my own, human shampoo. I reassured her it had already been tested on dogs.
Dry Shampoo Jokes
Here is a list of funny dry shampoo jokes and even better dry shampoo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I heard Rockstar are gonna start making dry shampoo It's called Bed Head Redemption
Charming Humor Shampoo Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about shampoo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hair spray jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shampoo pranks.
So i bought some of that Anti-stress shampoo.
Don't know why people like it so much, I drank the whole bottle, I feel worse if anything.
World hunger is getting ridiculous
There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village
I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day..
..it smells better than real p**....
How much does a cockney spend on shampoo?
Paan ten.
Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?
The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.
Ever hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
It was dreadful.
I once read the directions on the back of my shampoo bottle. It said to wash, rinse, and repeat.
They found me passed out in the shower four days later.
I surveyed 100 women & asked which shampoo did they use when showering.
99 of them said, 'HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE'.
Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower forever?
Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said to "1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat"
I don't know why I just bought some coconut shampoo
I haven't even got any coconuts.
I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company...
My girlfriend recently dumped me and this "No Tears" stuff isn't working at all.
Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?
The bottle of shampoo said, "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."
boycott shampoo
demand real p**... instead
I just found a new Batman shampoo...
I was so disappointed when I found out they don't make conditioner Gordon.
Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with e**...?
It was actually sham-p**....
*thunderous applause*
A young couple are showering together
A young couple are showering when the girlfriend says, "Honey I want you to do something naughty."
The boyfriend agrees.
He then proceeds to drop shampoo in her left eye.
Two employees are having a conversation about quality control
Employee 1: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
Employee 2: Why? Other shampoo companies do it all the time.
Employee 1: Cool. But we make hammers.
I went to the doctor for a rash...
Doctor: What toiletries are you using?
Me: Steven's soap, Steven's shampoo, Steven's toothpaste and Steven's toothbrush.
Doctor: Huh, so is Steven's a foreign brand?
Me: No, Steven is my roommate.
A football player was late to conditioning practice
His coach asked "Why are you late?"
The player replies "I was shampooing. I always shampoo before conditioning."
The beauty industry:
For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen
For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow
I don't usually brag about my shampoo
But it really is head and shoulders above everything else
Do not shampoo in the shower
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
No more shampoo!
We want the real p**...!
I used to read shampoo bottles while on the toilet..
But now with smartphones I can just take a picture of the bottle and read it anywhere!
We should stop...
Guy : We should testing our products on animal.
Boss : but why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Guy : but we manufacture washing machine.
At the company meeting, one of the managers came up with an idea.
- I think we should stop testing our products on animals, it's giving our brand a bad rep.
The CEO says:
- How come? The shampoo companies do it all the time!
- I understand, but, sir, we sell hammers.
How do you clean up after a spitroast s**...?
With 2-in-1 shampoo.
What does shampoo and ketchup have in common?
My dad waters both down when we get to the end of the bottle.
Why use shampoo...
...when you can use real p**...?
Singing in the shower is fun until shampoo gets in your mouth
then it turns into a soap opera
I interviewed some people about what shampoo brand they used.
To my surprise, all 10/10 of them uses "GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM"!
Give shampoo to your real friends.
And real p**... to your sham friends.
(Repost, because it turns out, you can mess things up even before 2AM)
Don't use Cops to protect the Capitol building!
Use barbers and hairdressers, the threat of a shave, shampoo and haircut should have most of them running for the hills!
My girlfriend told me this morning: " I want you to be naughty to me in the shower."
So I put shampoo in her eyes.
I asked 15 women what shampoo they use.
They seem to all use 'get out of the girl's shower'.
I've been trained to apply something to my head after shampoo...
It's classical conditioning.
What's another word for fake s**...?
Shampoo.
I've had enough of this shampoo
I want real p**...
Singing in the shower is all a bunch of fun and games, until you get shampoo in your mouth...
Then it becomes a soap opera.
I once had to pretend that i was taking a s**..., so I dropped a bottle of soap in the toilet
It was a shampoo.
Stop using shampoo!!!!
Insist on REAL p**...!
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together
After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
A man an a boy walk into a barbershop
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade" he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes". When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you". "That wasn't my daddy" said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
I started a 100 subject survey on what shampoo women use...
Only got to the 3rd shower before the police arrested me unfortunately
It's disgusting. They used to make COCA-Cola with REAL c**...! So you can probably guess what they used to make shamPOO with!
Yep, child labour.
I've just spotted the new Batman shampoo for sale.
Although I feel they're missing a real opportunity by not producing a conditioner Gordon.
What product is actually great even though it sounds like scammy s**...?
Shampoo.
I have a skin disease called psoriasis
It really only flares up on my legs and feet and using dandruff shampoo helps clear it up or at least soften it. So I guess you could say I use head and shoulders for my knees and toes.
Ban Shampoo!
Demand the real p**...!
Batman shampoo
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just saw 'Batman' shampoo in Wal-Mart today," the guy says. "Well, I certainly hope they come out with 'Conditioner Gordon' to go with it," the bartender replies.
I don't understand why people are still using shampoo...
When they could be using **real** p**...
I started a 100 subject survey on which shampoo women prefer to use...
Only got to the 3rd shower before i was arrested.
Singing in the shower is great until you get Shampoo in your mouth
Then it is more of a soap opera.
People who use shampoo are dumb
Why do they use sham p**... when they can just use real p**...
