The Best 71 Shampoo Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Shampoo jokes. There are some shampoo dandruff jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these shampoo toiletries puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Shampoo Jokes and Puns

So i bought some of that Anti-stress shampoo.

Don't know why people like it so much, I drank the whole bottle, I feel worse if anything.

World hunger is getting ridiculous

There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village

I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day.. smells better than real poo.

Shampoo joke, I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day..

Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?

for meatier showers.

How much does a cockney spend on shampoo?

Paan ten.

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

Conditioner Gordon.

Shampoo joke, What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

I'm really glad they invented shampoo.

imagine having to wash your hair with real poo?

What shampoo do dragons prefer?

Head & Smolders

I bought some "no more tears" shampoo

but her hair still tore right out!

Ever hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?

It was dreadful.

You can explore shampoo rinse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean shampoo conditioner dad jokes. There are also shampoo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I once read the directions on the back of my shampoo bottle. It said to wash, rinse, and repeat.

They found me passed out in the shower four days later.

I surveyed 100 women & asked which shampoo did they use when showering.

99 of them said, 'HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE'.

Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower forever?

Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said to "1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat"

I don't know why I just bought some coconut shampoo

I haven't even got any coconuts.

I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company...

My girlfriend recently dumped me and this "No Tears" stuff isn't working at all.

Shampoo joke, I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company...

My father told me that I should condition more and shampoo less

I told him to stop getting in the shower with me

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The bottle of shampoo said, "Lather, Rinse, Repeat."

Have you heard about the shampoo crisis in jamaica?

It's dreadful

Boycott shampoo

demand real poo instead

I just found a new Batman shampoo...

I was so disappointed when I found out they don't make conditioner Gordon.

My sister got upset that I washed our puppy with my own, human shampoo.

I reassured her it had already been tested on dogs.

What was the executioner's favorite shampoo?

Head and shoulders.

Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with excrement?

It was actually sham-poo.

*thunderous applause*

Quick question...

How much of this "No More Tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?

A young couple are showering together

A young couple are showering when the girlfriend says, "Honey I want you to do something naughty."
The boyfriend agrees.
He then proceeds to drop shampoo in her left eye.

An animal rights advocate got really upset with me after I told them that I wash my dog with my own shampoo instead of pet shampoo...

...I reassured her that it had already been tested on animals.

If you only use shampoo ...

Then you love your hair unconditionally

Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

Testing products on animals

Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals

Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.

Guy: Ya. But we make hammers.

Two employees are having a conversation about quality control

Employee 1: We need to stop testing our products on animals.

Employee 2: Why? Other shampoo companies do it all the time.

Employee 1: Cool. But we make hammers.

I went to the doctor for a rash...

Doctor: What toiletries are you using?

Me: Steven's soap, Steven's shampoo, Steven's toothpaste and Steven's toothbrush.

Doctor: Huh, so is Steven's a foreign brand?

Me: No, Steven is my roommate.

Asked 100 women what shampoo they were using. 2 said Head and Shoulders

The other 98 replied "How did you get in here?"

If you ate a ShamWow what would come out?


What's it called when you water down your shampoo to get that last little bit out of the bottom?


A football player was late to conditioning practice

His coach asked "Why are you late?"

The player replies "I was shampooing. I always shampoo before conditioning."

A programmer got stuck in the shower because...

The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat."

The beauty industry:

For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen

For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

I don't usually brag about my shampoo

But it really is head and shoulders above everything else

Do not shampoo in the shower

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,

"For extra body and volume."

No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads

"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.

I think my shampoo is making me fat... says guaranteed to increase the Volume

No more shampoo!

We want the real poo!

I used to read shampoo bottles while on the toilet..

But now with smartphones I can just take a picture of the bottle and read it anywhere!

What kind of shampoo did Ozzy Osbourne get his kids?

No More Tears

A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting

CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.

BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.

CEO: Yeah but we make hammers

We should stop...

Guy : We should testing our products on animal.

Boss : but why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.

Guy : but we manufacture washing machine.

The fact that the shampoo company, Head and Shoulders doesn't make a body wash

names Knees and Toes disappoints me to no end.

At the company meeting, one of the managers came up with an idea.

- I think we should stop testing our products on animals, it's giving our brand a bad rep.

The CEO says:
- How come? The shampoo companies do it all the time!

- I understand, but, sir, we sell hammers.

What's the hardest part of giving birth to a shampoo bottle?

Head and shoulders

How do you clean up after a spitroast sex?

With 2-in-1 shampoo.

I bought coconut shampoo the other day but it wasn't until I got home that I realized...

...I don't even have a coconut...

What does shampoo and ketchup have in common?

My dad waters both down when we get to the end of the bottle.

Last night someone broke into my house and stole all of my soap, bleach, and shampoo.

They made a clean getaway

Why use shampoo...

...when you can use real poo?

Singing in the shower is fun until shampoo gets in your mouth

then it turns into a soap opera

I interviewed some people about what shampoo brand they used.

To my surprise, all 10/10 of them uses "GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM"!


A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers "Yes but I'm not sure what to's for dry hair and I just wet mine."

I bought coconut shampoo today, but when I got home, I realized...

I don't even *have* a coconut...

Give shampoo to your real friends.

And real poo to your sham friends.

(Repost, because it turns out, you can mess things up even before 2AM)

Don't use Cops to protect the Capitol building!

Use barbers and hairdressers, the threat of a shave, shampoo and haircut should have most of them running for the hills!

My girlfriend told me this morning: " I want you to be naughty to me in the shower."

So I put shampoo in her eyes.

I asked 15 women what shampoo they use.

They seem to all use 'get out of the girl's shower'.

Riddle me this:

Why do we have Batman shampoo but conditioner Gordon isn't a thing?

I've been trained to apply something to my head after shampoo...

It's classical conditioning.

What's another word for fake shit?


I've had enough of this shampoo

I want real poo

Singing in the shower is all a bunch of fun and games, until you get shampoo in your mouth...

Then it becomes a soap opera.

I once had to pretend that i was taking a shit, so I dropped a bottle of soap in the toilet

It was a shampoo.

Stop using shampoo!!!!

Insist on REAL poo!

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together

After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

I accidentally used the dog's shampoo this morning

I feel like a good boy.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the shampoo cleanser jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working shampoo survey piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes