Shampoo Jokes
108 shampoo jokes and hilarious shampoo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shampoo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make everyone in the room laugh with these hilarious shampoo jokes! From silly puns about lye, dry shampoo, and hair spray, to hysterical jokes aboutdog shampoo, these jokes are sure to make everyone smile. Get ready to rinse and repeat!
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Funniest Shampoo Short Jokes
Short shampoo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shampoo humour may include short hair conditioner jokes also.
- I bought coconut shampoo today, but when I got home, I realized... I don't even *have* a coconut...
- Quick question... How much of this "No More tear" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?
- In a surprising announcement, Head & Shoulders have decided to discontinue their popular anti dandruff shampoo line. The decision left many scratching their heads.
- Testing products on animals Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
Guy: Ya. But we make hammer. - A programmer got stuck in the shower because... The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat." - Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"... …have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."
- Asked 100 women what shampoo they were using. 2 said Head and Shoulders The other 98 replied "How did you get in here?"
- My father told me that I should condition more and shampoo less I told him to stop getting in the shower with me
- I asked 15 women what shampoo they use. They seem to all use 'get out of the girl's shower'.
- Singing in the shower is fun until shampoo gets in your mouth then it turns into a soap opera
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Shampoo One Liners
Which shampoo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shampoo? I can suggest the ones about hair wash and hair product.
- Have you heard about the shampoo crisis in jamaica? It's dreadful
- If you ate a ShamWow what would come out? Shampoo
- Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo? for meatier showers.
- I tried oatmeal shampoo for the first time today But it just made my oatmeal worse.
- Since they have Batman shampoo Why do we not have Conditioner Gordon
- Stop washing your hair with shampoo! Insist on REAL poo!
- I accidentally used the dog's shampoo this morning I feel like a good boy.
- I think my shampoo is making me fat... ...it says guaranteed to increase the Volume
- I used to be a shampoo addict... But i'm clean now.
- If you only use shampoo ... Then you love your hair unconditionally
- What kind of shampoo did Ozzy Osbourne get his kids? No More Tears
- What was the executioner's favorite shampoo? Head and shoulders.
- If I was rich, I would never again buy shampoo. I would buy realpoo!
- I wash my hair with fake turds Some call it shampoo
- What does the Batman do after he shampoos? The Dark Knight Rinses
Hair Shampoo Jokes
Here is a list of funny hair shampoo jokes and even better hair shampoo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- FINALLY! BLONDE MEN JOKES: A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers "Yes but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair and I just wet mine."
- I bought some "no more tears" shampoo but her hair still tore right out!
- John wanted to take a shower at his mates His mate says "did you find the shampoo?"
John replies "Yes, but it says 'For Dry Hair' and I've just wet mine!" - What did the shower say to the shampoo? GET OUTTA HAIR!
- I'm in my 20's and today I used baby shampoo to wash my hair... ...and I've never felt so immature.
- This shampoo was supposed to give my hair volume But I can't really hear anything.
Dog Shampoo Jokes
Here is a list of funny dog shampoo jokes and even better dog shampoo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An animal rights advocate got really upset with me after I told them that I wash my dog with my own shampoo instead of pet shampoo... ...I reassured her that it had already been tested on animals.
- My sister got upset that I washed our puppy with my own, human shampoo. I reassured her it had already been tested on dogs.
Dry Shampoo Jokes
Here is a list of funny dry shampoo jokes and even better dry shampoo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I heard Rockstar are gonna start making dry shampoo It's called Bed Head Redemption
Charming Humor Shampoo Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about shampoo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hair spray jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shampoo pranks.
So i bought some of that Anti-stress shampoo.
Don't know why people like it so much, I drank the whole bottle, I feel worse if anything.
World hunger is getting ridiculous
There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day..
..it smells better than real p**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How much does a cockney spend on shampoo?
Paan ten.
Why do flies hate the shower?
Because the only thing to eat is shampoo.
Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?
The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.
Where do people keep their shampoo?
In their shambutt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm really glad they invented shampoo.
imagine having to wash your hair with real p**...?
What shampoo do dragons prefer?
Head & Smolders
I once read the directions on the back of my shampoo bottle. It said to wash, rinse, and repeat.
They found me passed out in the shower four days later.
I'm going to be filing a complaint with the shampoo company...
My girlfriend recently dumped me and this "No Tears" stuff isn't working at all.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
boycott shampoo
demand real p**... instead
I just found a new Batman shampoo...
I was so disappointed when I found out they don't make conditioner Gordon.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with e**...?
It was actually sham-p**....
*thunderous applause*
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've decided to make an all-natural shampoo made from roots found in Africa.
I'll call it Ethnic Cleansing.
What do you get if you eat soap?
Shampoo!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Someone threw Shampoo at me today.
Turns out it was real p**....
I went to the doctor for a rash...
Doctor: What toiletries are you using?
Me: Steven's soap, Steven's shampoo, Steven's toothpaste and Steven's toothbrush.
Doctor: Huh, so is Steven's a foreign brand?
Me: No, Steven is my roommate.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I washed my hair with p**... tonight.
I've been using shampoo for years, just think how good it will look with the real thing.
What's it called when you water down your shampoo to get that last little bit out of the bottom?
Shampee.
A football player was late to conditioning practice
His coach asked "Why are you late?"
The player replies "I was shampooing. I always shampoo before conditioning."
The beauty industry:
For men: This can be used as a shampoo, body wash, face wash, lotion, mouth wash, tooth paste, engine degreaser, spackle, or sunscreen
For women: We've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow
I don't usually brag about my shampoo
But it really is head and shoulders above everything else
Do not shampoo in the shower
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
I walked in on my little son vigorously rubbing shampoo on his shoulders...
...when I asked him what he was doing he matter-of-factly replied, "Mom the bottle says 'Head and Shoulders.'"
What shampoo do busts use?
Head & Shoulders
Now I know why I'm getting fat..
Its the shampoo that says " to give body & volume ".
Now I will use dish washing soap that says " Dissolves all fat even at hard to reach places ".
I used to read shampoo bottles while on the toilet..
But now with smartphones I can just take a picture of the bottle and read it anywhere!
What do you put on before Air Conditioner?
Air Shampoo
What Dandruff Shampoo Does Guy Fieri Use?
Frosted Flakes.
Thought of this on the ride home and I am still laughing. Sorry for the bad joke, I needed to share.
What's the hardest part of giving birth to a shampoo bottle?
Head and shoulders
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I ever die by being cut in half, i'd like my body to be made into shampoo.
Unfortunately, I can't name it 'head & shoulders' since it's already used.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you clean up after a spitroast s**...?
With 2-in-1 shampoo.
Shortest Joke
Son to Dad: I swear dad, it's shampoo on the toilet seat.
What does shampoo and ketchup have in common?
My dad waters both down when we get to the end of the bottle.
Last night someone broke into my house and stole all of my soap, bleach, and shampoo.
They made a clean getaway
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why use shampoo...
...when you can use real p**...?
I interviewed some people about what shampoo brand they used.
To my surprise, all 10/10 of them uses "GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM"!
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Give shampoo to your real friends.
And real p**... to your sham friends.
(Repost, because it turns out, you can mess things up even before 2AM)
Don't use Cops to protect the Capitol building!
Use barbers and hairdressers, the threat of a shave, shampoo and haircut should have most of them running for the hills!
My girlfriend told me this morning: " I want you to be naughty to me in the shower."
So I put shampoo in her eyes.
I've been trained to apply something to my head after shampoo...
It's classical conditioning.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's another word for fake s**...?
Shampoo.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've had enough of this shampoo
I want real p**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once had to pretend that i was taking a s**..., so I dropped a bottle of soap in the toilet
It was a shampoo.
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together
After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
A man an a boy walk into a barbershop
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade" he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes". When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you". "That wasn't my daddy" said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
I started a 100 subject survey on what shampoo women use...
Only got to the 3rd shower before the police arrested me unfortunately
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's disgusting. They used to make COCA-Cola with REAL c**...! So you can probably guess what they used to make shamPOO with!
Yep, child labour.
You can get Batman shampoo at walmart
But not conditioner Gordon :(
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What product is actually great even though it sounds like scammy s**...?
Shampoo.
I have a skin disease called psoriasis
It really only flares up on my legs and feet and using dandruff shampoo helps clear it up or at least soften it. So I guess you could say I use head and shoulders for my knees and toes.
Batman shampoo
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just saw 'Batman' shampoo in Wal-Mart today," the guy says. "Well, I certainly hope they come out with 'Conditioner Gordon' to go with it," the bartender replies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People who use shampoo are dumb
Why do they use sham p**... when they can just use real p**...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a lawyer and head lice?
One is a blood s**... parasite that is hard to get out of your hair, and the other can be killed with a special shampoo.
