Shame Jokes
157 shame jokes and hilarious shame puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shame that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the humorous side of shame in this thought-provoking article! Explore the social implications of making fun out of the 'cone of shame,' 'walk of shame,' and 'no shame' mentality. Learn how shame and humiliation can range from the comic to the downright intense. Weigh the discussion of how comedians use shame with their audience, and the dishonor of being known as a 'bumhole.'
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Funniest Shame Short Jokes
Short shame jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shame humour may include short embarrassment jokes also.
- It's a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore.... Just bought a T.V. and it said, "Built in Antenna".
I don't even know where that is!! - That's a nice ham you've got there... ... it'd be a shame if somebody put an 's' at the front and an 'e' at the end.
- My girlfriends parents are very religious. The first time I was at their house her father said we weren't allowed to sleep together. It was a bit of a shame, he was very attractive.
- Shame about the tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie. He should've watched the trailer.
- People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal. But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.
- That's a nice ham you got there. It would be a shame if someone added a 's' at the front, and 'e' at the end of it.
- That's a nice shamrock you've got there. It would be a shame if someone replaced the -rock with an e.
- Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids...
...shame really, they would have loved a kitten. - It's a shame Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her heart attack. If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.
- What's the difference between a shakespeare comedy and Fox News? One's The Taming of the Shrew, the other is the shaming of the true.
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Shame One Liners
Which shame one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shame? I can suggest the ones about pity and regret.
- Fat shaming is wrong. They have enough on their plate already
- That's a nice sham you've got there... It'd be a shame if somebody
added an e - Do special ed teachers mark late students as tardy? i have no shame.
- Parallel lines have got so much in common. It's a shame they'll never get to meet.
- You shouldn't fat shame people. But to be truthful, they won't come running after you.
- OK guys we need stop the FAT-shaming All filesystems are beautiful
- Shock me once, shame on you. Shock me twice, that's just revolting.
- My Sergeant told us to "fire at will"... It's kind of a shame. I liked that guy.
- It's a shame that Steven Hawking died He's been on a roll since age 21.
- It's a real-shame I failed my entry-level idiom class I came close, but no sugar.
- Saved a woman from the shame of prostitution today! I didn't pay her.
- In Spider-Man, I always considered Harry's father an ally.. A shame he ended up as Dafoe.
- What did one parallel line say to the other? It's a shame we'll never meet.
- That's a lot of votes Donald Would be a shame if someone deleted them...
- All timezones are equal and shouldn't be shamed Greenwich is just mean
No Shame Jokes
Here is a list of funny no shame jokes and even better no shame puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It gets me very angry to see people fat-shaming Please guys, they have enough on their plate already
- What's the difference between a a Shakespeare play and a Trump-era White House press conference? One is The Taming of the Shrew.
The other is the shaming of the true. - If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy
- I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, so I immediately reported him to the authorities... Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck!
- How do you make a hormone? You pay her.
(This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.) - A woman walked into a bank and took off her top and pulled out a gun she stole thousands, shame no one could remember her face.
- A giraffe walks into a bar, he sits and orders 6 martinis........ Shame on you for wanting a punchline.
This giraffe needs help. - I ap-p-p-p-lied for a j-job as a r-r-r-radio an-n-nouncer. Sh-sh-shame on them, rej-jecting me because I'm b-b-b-black.
- It's a shame The Beatles didn't make the submarine in that song green. That would've been sublime.
- I went on vacation with my girlfriends family - her dad is really religious and said we could not sleep together Which is a shame cuz he's a really attractive man
Cone Of Shame Jokes
Here is a list of funny cone of shame jokes and even better cone of shame puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two dogs are sitting outside One is wearing the cone of shame and the other is not
The dog wearing the cone says to the other,
"Hey Bob, I'm going to have to ask you do me a favor"
Walk Of Shame Jokes
Here is a list of funny walk of shame jokes and even better walk of shame puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I almost walked out on my girlfriend after she called me a forgetful idiot. It was a shame that I couldn't find my keys
- A man walks into a bar And subsequently loses the hurdles race in the Olympics, bringing shame to himself and his country
- My walk of shame is walking past the people I just said goodbye to because I went in the wrong direction and had to go back.
Cheeky Shame Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about shame you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean guilt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shame pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife ran into the house...
"Guess what!" she said, "I got a new job down the street on the corner.''
''What!'' I replied, ''It better not be what I think it is!...You'll bring shame on the family!.. What will the neighbours say?"
''No, no, stop worrying'' she said reassuring me, ''Not in the Tescos!..... I'm gonna be a p**...!!
So I was sitting in divorce court...
and I realized: its a shame a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of rabid wolves.
Yay Jack Handy.
3 kids are discussing how they were made
One says, "The stork brought me!"
The second one says, "I was downloaded from the internet!"
The third one hangs his head down in shame and says, "Well, my family is poor, and my parents makes everything themselves."
I was in my attic yesterday looking for some old photos...
...when I came across the present that I was going to give to my daughter for her 3rd birthday last year.
It was a bit of a shame. She would have loved that kitten.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... has s**... for the first time
After finding out p**... had shagged his girlfriend for the first time, Murphy asked him how it was.
"It was amazing," p**... gushed. "As we were both virgins, made it even more special; it was just a shame that we had to be fairly quiet."
"Why was that?" Asked Murphy.
"Her kids were asleep in the bedroom next door," p**... replied.
more dad-jokes (the limb-less edition)
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs at your front door?
Matt.
The neighborhood kids came to Timmy's house and asked if he could come out to play. "Shame on you kids," says Timmy's mom. "Don't you know Timmy doesn't have any arms or legs? He can't play with you."
"But we're playing baseball and we need a home base."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Washington r**... are changing the team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, adversity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.
....from now on they will be known simply as the r**....
Yesterday at yoga
Yesterday at yoga, the instructor told us to make a flower shape by putting our hands together. She kept saying to take deep breaths and focus on our flowers. Towards the end of the exercise she told us to smell our flowers and just say out loud what our flowers smelt like. I don't think she appreciated it when I said Vaseline and shame.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old woman went on a walk looking for her husband of 50 years...
As she strolled down the sidewalk outside of the retirement home, so approached a shaking bush. When she peered inside, she saw her husband getting a h**... from old Gurt. Startled, they got up. The woman cried to her husband, "how could you do this to me?" He hung his head in shame. "What makes her so great?! What does SHE have that I don't?"
The old man just smiled, and replied, "Parkinson's."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just thought this when making a coffee, I'm sorry...
I've grown a f**... where I love to lick milk off white women's feet, I've been labelled a racist though... it's not my fault I'm black toes intolerant.
Thank you, thank you very much *hangs head in shame*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Priest and a p**...
One night, a priest walked up to a p**... he saw on the street corner.
Hoping to shame her into mending her ways he asked "Young lady, what would your mother do if she saw you here tonight?"
The p**... went white and replied "Oh, she'd kill me! This is her corner!"
What's the difference between Sin and Shame?
It's a sin to put it in, and a shame to pull it out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jennifer Lawrence has said that those who saw her n**... photos should cower in shame...
...I don't know about all that, but I did shower after I came.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Haircut/s**... Correlation Jesus Joke
I got that I looked like Jesus a lot when I had longer hair. It's a shame because I got a haircut and have been getting nailed less than the messiah lately.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dean of Women...
The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on s**... morality.
We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, she said, ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
f**...
Emily died last week after she fell in the lake.
It's a shame she never learned how to swim.
We brought a life preserver to her f**....
It's what she would have wanted.
They say there's nothing a woman finds sexier than a man who makes her laugh...
They say there's nothing a woman finds sexier than a man who makes her laugh...
...it's just a shame that there's nothing a woman finds funnier than a million dollars in the bank.
The German tax evader in Switzerland
A German wants to bring his untaxed savings to a number account in Switzerland.
He sneaks into the bank, looks around and whispers to the bank assistant:
"Psst! I've got 2 million euros in my suitcase!"
The bank assistant replies in a normal voice:
"Why do you try to be so unsuspicious? Poverty is not a shame in Switzerland."
You know that feeling of shame, when you put it in the wrong hole? You wonder why it doesn't fit, and when you look down you just get sad.
I'm talking about belts, of course.
What did you think!?
Fool me once...
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thirty five thousand six hundred times, shame on the weatherman.
Some food puns I came up with
Why should you eat rye before battle?
It's bread for war.
Why should you eat melon before going in the sun?
A little melon in helps protect you from the sun.
When should you get a ladder in a slaughterhouse?
When the steaks are high
Why is it a good idea to rub blueberries on your face when you're embarrassed?
You should berry your face in shame.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Stages of man's sexuality
1. Puberty: m**... in secrecy and shame.
2. Early adulthood: comfortable m**... in your room and some casual s**... with strangers.
3. First serious relationship: wild s**... all the time.
4. First years of marriage: steady and regular s**....
5. Marriage after children: m**... in secrecy and shame.
Did you hear the submarine construction business closed down?
Shame they went under
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Look At Me Darling
Man Looked His n**... Body In Mirror And Said To The Wife Man: "Look 70 Kgs Of Pure Dynamite" Wife Smiled And Reply: "But Shame On The 5cm Fuse"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's different for Sean Connery when he has s**... with his wife or with a p**...?
It's the shame.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People try to shame me for m**....
But I say "I have every right to be on this bus". And they're like " But you're the driver!" And I say back "Shut up lady I get your kids to school on time every day."
In the old days, folks used to say "tisk, tisk" to shame others
Now social media connects us to millions, and allows us to multi-tisk.
It's a shame what happened to the Dolphins's parents......
I can't imagine being an Orfin
A woman was breastfeeding in the bus the other day
...And suddenly, this old lady gets up and starts screaming "you can't do that here, have you no shame? in front of everyone???".
Everybody turns around, the old lady keeps screaming, the woman with her baby stands here mortified...
...I had to pull my pants back up and get off the bus...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. "ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?" said the girl. "no, we cant" the guy replied. "why?"
"it's Haram, Bae"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Grandmother and her friends are most likely going to vote for Hillary Clinton...
It's a shame. They've been dead for 15 years
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the physics student that committed s**... by jumping off a skyscraper?
What a shame. He had so much potential.
The shame about ancient Grecian art...
The shame about ancient Grecian art is that there are amazing marble sculptures and structures which too often get taken for granite.
A man drives in front of a brothel with his friend.
The friend turns to the man and says, "You know they're shutting this place down soon?" the man looks and says, "What a shame, I always used to come here"
It's a shame that nobody is stepping up to defend the clown community
Not even the mimes are talking
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Found my first grey p**... hair last night.
Just a shame it was in a kebab.
My girlfriend left me when I refused to go the gym with her.
It's a shame our relationship didn't work out.
That's a nicece ham you have there.
Would be a shame if someone put a "s" at the start and a "e" at the end.
Its such a shame todays world is so politically correct, you cant even say Black Paint anymore,
Instead you have to say "Leeroy please paint the porch"
Job choices for Asians
1. Doctor
2. Lawyer
3. Engineer
4. Shame of family
My girlfriend accused me of cheating...
... so I admitted, that yes, I had in fact been cheating on her and was instead sleeping with her sister. We broke up the next day.
It's a shame really we were only playing Monopoly.
I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous.
It's just a shame I'm a lefty.
I found out my friend is addicted to math.
I should have known. All the sines were there. He had a hard time functioning, and he would go off on tangents all the time. Such a shame - he was in his prime, his life was on a great vector. He wanted to write the next 'Matrix'. But now, he can't differentiate between what is real and what is imaginary. It's so complex. I'm afraid his problems will start to multiply exponentially, and he just doesn't understand the root of it all. Pretty soon he won't be able to integrate at all. And just to add to the trouble, those he defines as 'friends' just want to divide his space between themselves. I'm afraid soon he'll go off into the Great Unknown...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A friend of mine was recently accused of having s**... with one of his clients...
As a result, he has been publicly humiliated, and is probably going to be indicted any day. On top of that, a wonderful marriage, not to mention years of schooling and training, wasted for a moment of weakness. It's such a shame, for he was truly a nice guy, and an absolutely gifted mortician.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend has a f**......
...which is a shame for me, because my c**...'s only eleven and a half inches long.
Things have become so politically correct, I can't even fat shame myself without looking over my shoulder.
Which i cant.
Soviet Breadline
At one of USSR's breadlines during the Perestroika, a man in the crowd is mumbling to himself. "No bread, no milk, no meat, what a shame".
Two policemen walking the beat hearing his mumbling walk up to him, and say:
"Comrade, if you said that 40 years ago you'd be shot, so just shut up and stand in line like everybody else"
As the policemen leave, the man turns back to the crowd and says:
"Not only we don't have bread or milk, but I was just told we ran out of bullets too."
Only been going to the gym a week
And already hitting the max weight on one of the machines.
Shame it's the scales
My girlfriend told me she had no gag reflex
So I broke up with her, it's a shame to see a talent like that go to waste.
My cousin recently had her baby aborted.
Such a shame, could have met my future first cousin once removed.
People say I'm crazy, but I regularly see my therapist...
It's a shame that she died years ago.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's a shame people aren't paid to complain.
If they were, my ex-wife would have enough money to support herself!
A physicist insisted on his wife giving birth on a hot air balloon.
When his son turned out to be a shame on the family, he told him: "You had so much potential!"
So my friend died while skydiving today..
Such a shame. He was such a down to earth guy.
A former teacher of mine was just arrested for luring a minor
shame. That whole time we could have been wingmen.
I just delivered an obituary for a woman and her kids told me she would have loved it
It's a shame; she only missed it by 2 days.
A doctor slept with one of his patients
A doctor slept with one of his patients and was fired for it.
It's a shame really, he was an exceptionally good vet.
Fats Domino died.
Ain't it a shame.
R.I.P. Fats
Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me
Fool me three times, you probably promised me a good Star Wars game.
Women have been sleeping with me lately like it's going out of style.
Less frequently and with a fair amount of shame.
What does a one night stand and cooking bad Chinese food have in common?
Both end in a wok of shame
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having s**... with his patients.
It's a real shame cause he's a really good vet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An acquaintance of mine just got his medical license revoked because he had s**... relations with one of his patients.
It's a shame, he was the best veterinarian in the city.
It's a real shame that, in this day and age, Barrack Obama had to give his speech about Martin Luther King Jr., while standing behind bullet proof glass...
Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot somebody...
You can find a great woman in any corner of the Earth!
But it's a shame the Earth is round.
