Shalt Jokes
14 shalt jokes and hilarious shalt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shalt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Shalt Short Jokes
Short shalt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shalt humour may include short shut jokes also.
- Why didn't Gandalf get hired at Hogwarts? He kept telling the students,, "Thou shalt not pass."
- Jesus said 'Love they neighbour'... but one of the ten commandments is 'thou shalt not sleep with thy neighbour's wife', so this puts me in a bit of a predicament.
- During confession I told my priest I'd been shooting up a designer drug called "Jesus Christ". He said "Ten Hail Mary's. Thou shalt not take god's name in vein."
- Why do bartenders refuse to give free drinks to pigs? Because thou shalt not throw alms to the swine
- Dear Master of mockery, Sovereign of Sarcasm, Immortal of Irony, Jack of Jest, Lord of Levity, How shalt I hone my humor? Use common words, s**....
- My Wife Got Angry I Was m**... Our Neighbor I told her but the bible says "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself".
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Shalt One Liners
Which shalt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shalt? I can suggest the ones about commandments and mandate.
- Thou shalt wear a mask Hygenesis 20:20
- I disobeyed each of the ten commandments. Except 'You shalt not lie.'
- The assaulted United Airline doctor is an honest man Dao shalt not lie.
Delightful Fun Shalt Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about shalt you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean behold jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shalt pranks.
A pastor discovered his bicycle had been stolen
He decided to use it as inspiration for that week's sermon, and began writing on the Ten Commandments, especially thou shalt not steal
Then he got to thou shalt not commit adultery and remembered where he left his bike.
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:
You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
One morning, a priest gives a sermon on the Seven Deadly Sins
After the sermon, a guy goes up to the priest and says, "Father, thank you so much for giving that sermon. It meant so much to me, and I'll tell you why. I lost my hat last week and I couldn't find it anywhere. I finally decided to steal a new one from the store, but now that I heard your sermon, I'm not going to."
The priest smiles and says, "That's good, my son. The part about 'thou shalt not steal' moved you, did it?"
The guy says, "Nope. After that part about adultery, I remember where I left my hat."
A small village's pastor's bicycle was stolen
And he was discussing what to do with the choir master.
"I know, I'll do a sermon on the ten commandments, and when I get to 'thou shalt not steal', I'll pause and look everybody in the eye to see who looks guilty".
After church, the choir master asked the vicar if he'd worked out who the thief was?
"Well, as it happened, when I got to 'thou shalt not commit adultery', I remembered where I'd left it"
I lost my favorite hat and I decided to go to church to snag my buddy's who has the exact same one
I figured he'd never suspect me…
The priest came over after the service and asked how I liked his sermon..
I said I have to be honest…
I just came today specifically to take my buddy's hat…
So the priest said, you must have heard me talk about the Ten Commandments, especially the one about … Thou shalt not steal… you probably had second thoughts
No - Actually, when you got to the part about adultery…
I remembered where I left my hat…
My h**...-addicted friend
I used to have a great friend. As we grew older, he started doing h**.... Of course, this affected him pretty strongly. Eventually, he even started calling the injection his "God". Weird, I know, but that's just how he was.
Sadly, he passed away recently, although I guess that was to be expected. After all, thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vein.
An angel goes to give humanity the Commandments.
The angel goes to the French and says, "Excuse me. I have some Commandments. Would you like them?" The French ask for an example and the angel replies, "Thou shall not commit adultery." The French tell the angel they aren't interested.
The angel goes to the Germans and says, "Excuse me. I have some Commandments. Would you like them?" The Germans ask for an example and the angel replies, "Thou shalt not kill." The Germans tell the angel they aren't interested.
The angel goes to the Italians and says, "Excuse me. I have some Commandments. Would you like them?" The Italians ask for an example and the angel replies, "Thou shall not steal." The Italians tell the angel they aren't interested.
Desperate, the angel goes to the Jews and says, "Please. I'm trying to get rid of these Commandments. Would you like them?" The Jews ask how much they are and the angel replies, "Absolutely free!" to which the Jews reply "We'll take 10!"
