The Best 56 Shaking Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Shaking jokes. There are some shaking shook jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these shaking jiggle puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Shaking Jokes and Puns

An Arab is shaking a carpet on the window.A guy sees from below and asks:

What's wrong with it? Doesn't start?

I got into a car accident with a midget...

He got out of his car, angrily shaking his fist and yelled, "I'm NOT happy!"

"Well," I replied, "which one are you?"

An old woman walks into a sex shop

An old woman walks into a sex shop, shaking. "Sir", she asks in a shaky voice,"do you sell vibrators?" "Yes,ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes,ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes,ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

Shaking joke, An old woman walks into a sex shop

I saw some nudity on TV last night...

I just sat there shaking my fist. I was furious.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me!


A man goes to the doctor...

... and he says, "Doc, I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I can't stop shaking my hips and singing Tom Jones songs."

To which the doctor replies, "Clearly sir, you have Tom Jones' Disease."

The man asks, "Is this common?"

The doctor answers, "It's not unusual."

George W. Bush is sitting with his aides...

and he is getting debriefed on the world news of the day. The news is rather mundane and unexciting, but one of his aides states that 3 Brazilian people perished in a plane crash early this morning.

Dubya's reaction is pure shock and grief, he's shaking and can't control his emotions.

Tearfully looking over to the man who broke the news, he asks him, "How many is a Brazilian?"

Shaking joke, George W. Bush is sitting with his aides...

An old woman went on a walk looking for her husband of 50 years...

As she strolled down the sidewalk outside of the retirement home, so approached a shaking bush. When she peered inside, she saw her husband getting a handjob from old Gurt. Startled, they got up. The woman cried to her husband, "how could you do this to me?" He hung his head in shame. "What makes her so great?! What does SHE have that I don't?"

The old man just smiled, and replied, "Parkinson's."

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

A priest and a rabbi get into a car accident...

A priest and a rabbi get into a car accident at an intersection. They get out of their cars and find that neither is hurt, which is surprising because it was a horrible accident. The cars are a mangled mess.

The priest says to the rabbi, "Thank the lord that we are both uninjured! That was *terrifying.* I still can't stop shaking. I was so frightened!"

The rabbi says, "Friend, I feel the same way. I saw my life flash before my eyes, but those airbags saved us. Look, I had this bottle of Manischevits wine on the seat next to me and it didn't even break! Here, let's have a drink to calm our nerves. " as he hands the bottle to the priest

"Yes, and also to celebrate still being alive!" the priest says as he takes a long drink from the bottle.

He hands the bottle back to the rabbi who, instead of drinking, closes the bottle and puts it in his pocket.

"Aren't you going to have a drink?" the priest asks

"Not until after the cops get here. "

TIL: Due to the placebo effect, if you tilt your head back, close your eyes, and pretend as if you're shaking a salt-shaker into your mouth, your brain will cause you to actually taste salt

You can explore shaking barkinsons reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean shaking shaky dad jokes. There are also shaking puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two Women Talking in Heaven

1 Woman: Hi, Wandal

2 Woman: Hi, Sylvia! How'd you die?

1 Woman: I froze to death.

2 Woman: How horrible!

1 Woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2 Woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. Instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1 Woman: So what happened?

2 Woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1 Woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer-we'd both still be alive.

No one is more excited for today than Michael J. Fox...

He's been shaking with anticipation for the last 25 years.

What's the worst part about meeting someone with Parkinson's?

Shaking hands.

There's so much nudity on TV these days, it makes me so angry.

I just sit there, shaking my fist.

This homeless man was shaking his cup at me with some change in it.

Yeah i get it, you have more money than me. Quit it.

Shaking joke, This homeless man was shaking his cup at me with some change in it.

My Son's #1 Concern

When my three-year-old was told 
to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With 
a shaking voice, he asked, Do I have to drink it?

You can reduce your weight by one simple exercise of shaking your head horizontally.

Do it when you are offered food

A vulture tries to board a plane whilst carrying a dead rabbit under his wing.

The flight attendant stops him, shaking his head.

"Sorry sir, you can't bring that on here. No carrion."


An old granny walks into a sex shop

She's shaking badly, and the clerk assumes she has a bad case of Parkinsons.

*"Show me a vibrator"*, she says.

The clerk shows her a 4" unit.

*"Bigger!"*, she demands.

The clerk takes out an 8" unit.

*"Still bigger!"*

Out comes a 12" unit.

*"Show me the biggest one you got!"*

The clerk pulls out a massive 20", three-pronged vibrator with a two-stroke engine.

*"That's the one! Now how do you turn it off?"*

The first time I asked a woman to sleep with me my hands were shaking and I was sweating uncontrollably

I'd never pointed a gun at anyone before

I can still remember my grandpa's last words...

"Hey, stop shaking the ladder!"

I can't describe how terrified I was to be in the middle of an earthquake...

...I was shaking.

Whenever I shake someone's hand....

I always ask if they're nervous. They usually say no, and then I reply with "Then why are you shaking?"

I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan dude

He was standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

i hate when homeless people shaking their cup of coins at me

like yeah i know you have more money than me but you don't need to rub it in

Bob didn't believe that Fred's dog could talk

So Fred asked his dog, What's on top of a house?

Roof, the dog barked.

Bob wasn't convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels.

Rough.

He still wasn't convinced.

O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time? Fred asked the dog.

Ruth.

With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: Was it Hank Aaron?

A man rushes to a doctor

Doctor, Doctor. You've got to help me. I just can't stop my hands from shaking.

Do you drink a lot?

Not really. I spill most of it!

I just saw an Indian guy shaking a piece of carpet outside his door.

I said, "Whats up, Won't it start?"

Stalin is delivering a speech to the Party

Suddenly someone sneezes.
- Who's just sneezed?
No answer.
- Execute the first row. Who's sneezed, I ask you?
No answer.
- Execute the second row. So who of you has just sneezed?
Finally a shaking man raises and utters feebly:
- It's me, Comrade Stalin.
- Bless you! Now, back to the topic...

Conceived on a washing machine

A man walks into the doctors office and he's shaking vigorously. He asks the doctor:

"Doctor, I was conceived on a washing machine, could that have anything to do with my shaking?"

The doctor looks at him an says:

"No way, I was conceived on a record player and as you can see there is nothing wrong with, wrong with me, wrong with..."

I still remember my mother in law's last words before she died.

She said Stop shaking the ladder you idiot!

A German, Italian, And Irishman are sitting at a bar...

when 3 flies fly into the room and into the 3 drinks.

The German puts down the drink, and says "i cant drink this!'

the Italian takes out the fly, and says "that's good enough for me" and continues drinking.

The Irishman starts vigorously shaking the fly, and yells "SPIT IT ALL OUT!!"

Today, my dad complimented me on my parking skills

I'm still shaking

I saw a homeless man aggressively shaking a cup of coins at me this morning

I get it. You have more money than me. No need to rub it in

I hate driving through tunnels [OC]

They're always so dark and scary. My hands always start shaking whenever I'm driving through one with my mates.

I think I have carpool tunnel syndrome

Joe goes to church and starts praying hard. The pastor comes up and asks: 'what's wrong?'

Joe says: "I want you to pray for my hearing."

The pastor puts his hands on Joe's ears and starts shaking and praying hard for ten minutes.

Pastor says: "So how's your hearing" ?

Joe says: "I don't know, it's not till next Monday."

I was walking down the street, when I glanced up and saw this arab guy on the balcony furiously shaking a rug..

So I yelled out to him, "what's the matter, Omar? Won't it start?"

I was walking around the city when i saw a man in a turban shaking his carpet on his balcony.

I shouted at him: "What's wrong, it isn't starting?"

Hands shaking, voice trembling, I faintly rasped, "Mom, I'm in the hospital, but don't worry, I'm fine."

After a silence that seemed to go on forever, she replied, "You have to stop this. You've been a doctor for 3 years now."

Two good friends go golfing

Two good friends go golfing and they come up on two women who are moving like molasses. One guy says that he'll go up and ask if they can play through. When he's half way to the women, he freezes, turns around and comes back pretty pale.
"Sorry man, I can't do it! One's my wife and the other my mistress!"

The other guy says he'll ask instead. Halfway to the women he suddenly stops turns around and comes back shaking his head. "Small world bro!"

A wealthy woman comes back home to her husband...

A wealthy woman comes back home to her husband, she is panting and shaking.

_Wife:_ We have to fire the chauffeur, it's the second time he's tried to kill me!

_Husband:_ Come on, honey. You gotta give him another chance!

When I reach home, my 1.5 year old son rushes out to the gate..

..to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrrrmmm brrrrmmm sound. His cute antics always me forget that he is suffering from a rare disease ...It's called Parking son's disease.

"If you had a dollar," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked your father for another dollar, how much money would you have?"

"One dollar." answered little Johnny.

"You don't know your basic math." said the teacher shaking her head, disappointed.

Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my father"

I tucked my son into bed...

When I'm about to leave, he looked up at me and said, "Daddy, check for monsters under the bed." Amused, I look underneath for him and see him, another him, shaking under the bed, and he whispers: "Daddy, there's someone on my bed."

Then I grounded the twin because it's a bad joke.

If you had a quarter," quizzed the teacher," and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"

One quarter." answered little Johnny.

You don't know your arithmetic!" snapped the teacher shaking her head.

Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my dad!"

I saw them shaking hands



like it was 2019

Dad takes his son for a driving lesson

Son: Dad, I'm so nervous, I can't stop shaking, what are we going to do?

Dad: Parkinson.

A guy is having a check up at the doctor's...

"Do you think I will have a long and healthy life?"

"I doubt it" sais the doctor shaking his head "Mercury is in Uranus right now"

"I don't believe in that astrology crap, doc"

"Yeah, neither do I. My thermometer just broke"

A man in his 60s hoes to a brothel

... constantly shaking from his Parkinson's.

He tells the madam I want 5 girls.

The madam says are you sure? 5 girls might kill you. But the man is adamant and soon enough he's in a room with 5 girls.

Shaking from every joint as he lays on the bed, he tells 2 girls: you two, hold down my arms.

Then he tells 2 more girls: you two, hold down my legs.
Finally, the last one, you get on top.

Now, you 4, let go!

A big pepper is sitting on the couch when his small pepper roommate walks in the door shivering

Big pepper: "Why are you shaking? Are you cold?"

Small pepper: "I'm a little chili."

What did the Banana say to the Vibrator?

Why are you shaking? I'm the one she's going to eat.

Guy goes to the doctor

Guy: "Doctor, I can't stop my hands shaking"

Doctor:"do you drink a lot?"

Guy: "Not really, I spill most of it"

Two mentos are in a bar...

...just enjoying a drink of coke, (as they do of course.)


Then a Halls Cough Drop walks in.


One of the mentos hides under the table. Shaking.


The other one asks him "What's up?"


The mentos hiding under the table replies "You don't wanna mess with him... "


"...he's F--K!NG MENTHAL!"

"

I'll never forget the last words my uncle said to me before he passed...

"Stop shaking the ladder, you little shit!"

I met someone with Parkinson's disease.

He was great at shaking hands.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the shaking shiver jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working shaking violently piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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