Shakespear Jokes
57 shakespear jokes and hilarious shakespear puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shakespear that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Shakespear Short Jokes
Short shakespear jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shakespear humour may include short bard jokes also.
- My dad has a pencil that was once owned by Shakespeare. It's so chewed up that we can't tell if it's 2b or not 2b.
- In order to attract women I like to use this quote from shakespeare's Hamlet, Act III, Scene IV, line 82. "Hello."
- If you give a monkey a typewriter, it will eventually write Shakespeare... ...If you give a monkey a camcorder, it will eventually film a dead body and post it to the internet.
- A man walked into a bookshop and said: I'd like to buy a book by Shakespeare 'Of course' replied the sale assistant 'Any particular one?'
'William, of course' replies the man. - What did the math text book say to the Shakespeare text book? Look, buddy, I've already got a lot of problems, and I really don't need any of your drama.
- William Shakespeare chewed on his pencil so much... ...that eventually he couldn't tell if it was 2B or not 2B.
- 3/15 is The Ides of March. Do you know what time it officially starts? At two
.
.
If ya love Shakespeare then ya love a groaner. Enjoy! - I own a pencil used by William Shakespeare He used to chew on it a lot though, so I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B
- What's the difference between a Shakespeare comedy and Fox News? One's The Taming of the Shrew, the other is the shaming of the true.
- What's the difference between a a Shakespeare play and a Trump-era White House press conference? One is The Taming of the Shrew.
The other is the shaming of the true.
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Shakespear One Liners
Which shakespear one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shakespear? I can suggest the ones about theatre and thou.
- Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B
- Why did Shakespeare write in ink? Pencils were confusing to him. 2B or not 2B?
- What did Shakespeare call his shower McBath
- What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare
- What do you call a tiny pig reciting Shakespeare? Hamlet.
- Why did Shakespeare only write in ink? A: Pencils confused him — 2B or not 2B?
- What did Shakespeare say when he couldn't identify the pencil? 2B or not 2B
- Why did Shakespeare enjoy high school? He didn't have to learn Shakespeare
- Why did Shakespeare write only using quills? Pencils confused him - 2B or not 2B.
- Shakespeare's pencil is so chewed… You can't tell whether it's 2B or not 2B
- What Shakespeare ask himself before buying a pencil? 2B or not 2B
- Hey Shakespeare, are you writing your next play in pentameter? Iamb.
- What did Shakespeare eat for lunch? Caesar salad.
- Why did Shakespeare only write in ink ? Pencils posed a problem, 2B or not 2B
- Why did Shakespeare write only in ink? Because the pencils were confused 2B or not 2B.
Uplifting Shakespear Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about shakespear you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rapper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shakespear pranks.
What was the slogan for Shakespeare's camping shop?
Now is the winter of our discount tents
Literary position.
Years ago, my grandparents took me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.
"Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?"
"You are in seat 2-B, so it's the Shakespeare seat."
"Don't be silly Grandma. All the seats on an airplane are Shakespeare seats."
"How do you figure that?"
"Well, it's either seat 2-B or not 2-B."
Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?
I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.
*-Anthony Jeselnik, Shakespeare*
What did William Shakespeare say regarding atomic orbitals?
"2p or not 2p, that is the question."
TIL I know more words than Shakespeare
Shakespeare. Albatross. Conglomerate. Sasquatch. carnival. I have more...
Why did Shakespeare have a great time in secondary/high school?
He didn't have to read Shakespeare.
I found an old pencil
I found an old pencil that apparently belonged to Shakespeare. It's so chewed up through the years that I can't tell if it's 2B, or not 2B. ✏
I own the chewed pencil that Shakespeare used to write his famous works.
He used to chew on it so much that I can't tell whether it's 2B or not 2B.
A new cache of pencils chewed by Shakespeare have been found
The bard apparently chewed them so much, he couldnt tell if they were 2B or not 2B
What do you call it when Shakespeare has a w**...?
Mid summer Night's cream
A mum, dad and their son walk into a pub.
After a few drinks, the dad jumps up onto a table and starts reciting quotes from Shakespeare to his wife. The wife joins in, and responds with, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Then they dramatically kiss, as the whole pub stops and watches.
The son lifts his face from his palms and says, "Please... mum, dad... you're making a scene".
William Shakespeare once said "Better Three Hours Too Soon Than a Minute Too Late"
My wife disagrees.
It's really put a strain on our s**... life.
A village idiot walks into a library
He goes to the librarian and says, "Ma'am, I'm looking for a book by Shakespeare."
The librarian says, "Sure, hon. Which one?"
The idiot says, "William".
I walked into the book store and asked the guy, Do you have any books by Shakespeare?
Bookseller: Of course. Which one?
Me: William.
How many of Shakespeare's characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. One to change the lightbulb, one to contemplate how a lightbulb is as mortal as any human, and one to spend the afternoon debating whether to m**... his uncle.
William Shakespeare died before completing the final act of his last play.
It was a real tragedy.
One of Shakespeare's original pencils is going up for auction
Problem is its very chewed, so nobody can tell if its 2b or not 2b
I own Shakespeare's old chewed pencil.
He chewed on it so much i cant tell if its 2b or not 2b
Shakespeare's chewed pencil
It's so chewed, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B
Shakespeare was able to write with either his left or right hand equally well...
He was iambidextrous.
