Shaken Stirred Jokes

41 shaken stirred jokes and hilarious shaken stirred puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shaken stirred that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Shaken Stirred Short Jokes

Short shaken stirred jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shaken stirred humour may include short shaken not stirred jokes also.

  1. Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred
  2. Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred.
  3. Talk about a type-cast... Why did James Bond hire a bartender with Parkinson's?
    ... Every drink was shaken, not stirred.
  4. Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker? Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.
  5. What do you get when you combine Robert Frost and James Bond? The Road Not Shaken but Stirred.
  6. One morning I woke up lying on the floor next to my bed. I realised there must have been an earthquake that night........ I was shaken, but not stirred :p
  7. What does James Bond say after a heavy workout? I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.
  8. Michael J. Fox walks into a bar The bartender asks how do you want your martini? Shaken or stirred?
    He says nah I got it.
  9. Why does James Bond like Michael J Fox? Because he always gets his martini shaken, not stirred.
  10. Why can't Michael J. Fox have his favorite drink? Because his favorite drink is a v**... Martini, stirred, not shaken.

Share These Shaken Stirred Jokes With Friends

Shaken Stirred One Liners

Which shaken stirred one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shaken stirred? I can suggest the ones about shaken and stirred.

  1. Just fought the James Bond. I was really shaken. But not stirred.
  2. What was shaken and is now stirred? Haiti.
  3. How can you tell if James Bond has died? If he has been shaken and not stirred!!
  4. How do you describe someone who can't wake up during a nightmare? Shaken not stirred.
  5. Mr. Bond is really getting into homeopathy... He prefers his water shaken, not stirred.
  6. Sir Roger Moore has died aged 89. His family are said to be shaken but not stirred.
  7. How does Michael J Fox take his martinis? Shaken. Not stirred
  8. Michael J Fox has watched too many James Bond movies... Now he's shaken, not stirred.
  9. I like my baby like I like my drinks Shaken, not stirred.
  10. I like my babies like I like my Martinis... Shaken not stirred
  11. James Bond love Michael J. Fox's martinis. They're shaken, not stirred.
  12. Why doesn't Sean Connery have any grown up children? He prefers them shaken, not stirred.
  13. What is the epileptic bartender's signature drink? v**... martini, shaken not stirred
  14. 007 then and now 007 then:
    Shaken not stirred.
    007 now:
    Trimmed not s**....

Laughable Shaken Stirred Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about shaken stirred you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stir jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shaken stirred pranks.

Michael J. Fox asked James Bond to come over for dinner one night.

Being a polite host, he offered Bond a drink when he arrived. "What'll ya have?" he asked.
"I'll have a Martini," Bond replied.
"How do you want it?" Michael J. Fox asked.
"Shaken, not stirred."
"Oh, thank God."

A group of celebrities are at a party hosted by Michael J Fox

The night is a huge success and everyone is enjoying themselves. Michael's working the bar when he's approached by Daniel Craig
Daniel Craig: Martini. shaken not stirred
Michael J Fox: *Looks up* There's a difference?

An drunk alcoholic walks into a kids' party

He sees all these long lines of children waiting for their rides, snacks etc.
He finally sees some adults holding drinks in their hands and joins them.
He stand there for hours, waiting for the line to move. Finally when his number comes, he asks for a v**... Martini, Shaken not stirred. I have waited so long for this line to end, please make it quick.
The person replies, Sir, I am sorry to inform you.
You waited this whole time for the punch line.