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Shades Jokes

147 shades jokes and hilarious shades puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shades that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Shades Short Jokes

Short shades jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shades humour may include short shady jokes also.

  1. What do Green eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
  2. I really wish some of the fantasies in 50 shades of grey were real... like how she got a job right out of college.
  3. I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 Shades of Grey... For example, the one where she gets a job right out of college.
  4. My wife said she wanted to see "Fifty Shades Of Grey". So I showed her a picture of her hair.
  5. I want to repaint my room a shade of white... ...but I can't decide between "eggshell", "beige", or "2016 Oscars".
  6. Yesterday I saw a horse-drawn carriage The proportions were a bit off but the shading and linework were quite remarkable.
  7. 50 shades of grey would be a perfect title for a movie about a dog reading a map of the US.
  8. This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey... When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."
  9. My 8-Year old patient was so pround, mom was not. Q: What type of bees make milk?
    A: BOO-Bees!
    And then he just couldn't stop laughing. Mom turned 50 shades of red and blamed dad. Good times.
  10. When my kindle reads Fifty Shades of Gray to me It's like getting an obscene phone call from Stephen Hawking

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Shades One Liners

Which shades one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shades? I can suggest the ones about sunglasses and dark shadows.

  1. My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!
  2. I now understand the 52 genders Male, female, and 50 shades of gay
  3. You know why dolly parton has small feet? Nothing grows in the shade.
  4. Scientists have discovered a fantastic new shade of the colour green. Its sublime
  5. What's the most ordinary shade of yellow? Mediochre.
  6. I've just written a book called "Fifty Shades of Gravy" It's very saucy
  7. Why did the teacher wear shades in school? Because her pupils were too bright!
  8. Why are so many of France's streets lined with trees? Germans like to march in the shade.
  9. Trees are really rude They're always throwing shade!
  10. Why so the French line their streets with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade
  11. Why was the Sun mad at all the clouds? Because they kept throwin shade
  12. Why are Paris's streets lined with trees? German soldiers like to march in the shade.
  13. What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture? Cell shading.
  14. Why do the French plant trees on their boulevards? So the Germans can march in the shade.
  15. What do trees do when they get mad at each other? Throw shade

Shades Grey Jokes

Here is a list of funny shades grey jokes and even better shades grey puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Colorblind people are wondering why is everyone on Facebook is celebrating Fifty Shades of Grey
  • I'm starting the dishes, and my wife is getting ready to go watch 50 Shades of Grey I guess you could say we are BOTH pre soaking.
  • 50 shades of grey Girl 1: Hey have you read yet?
    Girl 2: Yes! From cover to cover!
    Girl 1: And the index?
    Girl 2: Exhausted...
  • 50 shades of grey is a genius title but had they thought about it They should have added 19 more shades
  • Fifty Shades of Grey beat the record for fastest selling R-rated movie in history... Well, first it tied the record... then it beat it....
    [credit goes to the Late Night with Seth Meyers writers]
  • 50 SHADES ADMISSION 82% of women have admitted to reading 50 Shades of Grey with one hand
  • What do you call someone who has watched all the "Shades of Grey" movies? A glutton for punishment...
  • I was so excited. My wife said she wanted to live the life of 50 Shades of Grey ... Then she stopped dyeing her hair.
  • I was gunna write the great American nursing home romance novel... ....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.
  • 50 shades of grey broke a lot of box office records for R-rated movies… Well first it tied them, then it beat them.

50 Shades Jokes

Here is a list of funny 50 shades jokes and even better 50 shades puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I want to reenact a scene from 50 Shades of Gray.... Y'know the one where she gets a job right out of college.
  • Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.
  • What do you call a multi-cultural, homosexual convention? 50 Shades of Gay
  • Television was never really black and white before color It was basically just 50 shades of gray
  • Whats's Wolverine's favoirte book? 50 Shades of Jean Grey
  • What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood? 50 Shades of Earl Grey
  • There's one fantasy scene in 50 Shades of Grey that I'd love to be part of in real life... ...specifically, the part where the protagonist gets a job straight out of college.
  • What's Mrs. Clause's favorite romance novel? 50 shades of sleigh.
  • Ever since they brought out a movie based on the book... ... it's impossible to tell if girls are referring to the movie or the book when they say 'I was just flicking through 50 Shades of Grey.'
  • What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines? A greydient
Shades joke, What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines?

Fifty Shades Jokes

Here is a list of funny fifty shades jokes and even better fifty shades puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for moving the "Caution Wet Floor" sign to the Fifty Shades of Gray aisle.
  • Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ... ... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into.
  • I think it's only fair the week after Black Friday be called White Friday And then with the remaining Fridays before the next Black Friday, you can have fifty shades of grey.
  • Why did the characters from Fifty Shades of Grey get into a fight about fast food? They couldn't agree where to go. Christian wanted Domino's, but Ana insisted on Subway!
  • I turned on the TV, and it was static My wife asked me, "what's that noise?" I said "fifty shades of gray"
  • What kind of person can't stop watching 'Fifty Shades of Grey'? A colorblind synaesthesiac listening to the radio
  • In art class, I saw my friend making a gradient from dark to light on his paper with his pencil today. "Hey, what are you doing?"
    "Illustrating Fifty Shades of Grey..."
  • A man is asked why he can't see the Fifty Shades of Gray movie... He replies, "I'm color blind and can only see 36 of them."
  • "Fifty Shades of Grey" gives its readers unrealistic expectations. It makes them think that Vintage Books will publish anything that gets sent to them.
  • What do new car colours and your mom's literary collection have in common? They both only have fifty shades of grey.

Fifty Shades Of Grey Jokes

Here is a list of funny fifty shades of grey jokes and even better fifty shades of grey puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why does Bruce Banner have Fifty Shades of Grey on his iPhone? Because he needs something to get him angry enough to turn him into the Hulk on short notice.
  • Fifty Shades of Grey: Dog Edition Dog Anastasia's Friend: "How did the interview go?"
    Dog Anastasia: "Didn't even happen. I just couldn't figure out which one was Mr Grey"
  • My girlfriend wanted to act out a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey It was the scene where Christian wanted to buy Anastasia a new Audi...
  • Did you hear, Henry Winker is directing the new Fifty Shades of Grey Sequel? Yeah, it comes out next year. It's called Fifty Shades of Aaaaayyy!
  • I asked the girl I've been dating to see Fifty Shades of Grey with me this weekend, but I think she's worried were moving too fast. She seemed concerned and said she didn't want to be tied down.
  • A blind man walks into a Fifty Shades of Grey theater takes a deep breath and says " MMM ... I guess I'm at a fish market"
  • Should I bring a box of tissues to the new 'Fifty Shades of Grey' film? I hear it's very sad.
  • What do you get when you mix an Obama campaign slogan with Fifty Shades of Grey? Rope and chains.
  • Coming on valentines day. Fifty shades of grey. There won't be a dry seat in the cinema.
  • Fifty Shades of Grey has no plot. It's just all c**....
Shades joke, Fifty Shades of Grey has no plot.

Charming Humor Shades Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about shades you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shines jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shades pranks.

A lawyer undergoes heart surgury, and is in bed in the recovery area

As he wakes up, he notices the room is dark, and a doctor is standing there. He asks the doctor, "Why did you close all the window shades?"
The doctor says, "There was a large fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you didn't survive the operation."

What does Eminem call his window blinds?

Slim Shad-Es

How do you make your wife scream after s**...?

Wipe your d**... on the curtain.

Lenin,Stalin and Gorbachev were riding on a train...

When it came to a halt,the engineer said,"Our engine has failed,What shall i do?"."Let the invincible spirit of the people pulls us on!" Lenin declared."Shoot the engineer!" offered Stalin.And Gorbachev suggested, "Close the shades and we can pretend we're moving forward."

Another old jew on the deathbed,

He could barely see, only shades, but he could still talk. He turned to his wife and said:
-Is David, my oldest son here? *cough*
-Yes
-is Eli, my middle son here?
-Yes, he is here too
-is Joseph here too ?
-Yes, yes, everyone is here
-*cough*, if everyone is here, why is the light in the kitchen on?

Did you hear The Fonz wrote an e**... novel?

It's called 50 Shades of Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

Would it be awesome if Fifty Shades movie will get...

69% on rottentomatoes?

Experts are predicting a very wet day tomorrow...

They are urging cinemas showing 50 shades of grey to brace themselves.

If 50 Shades of Grey were in the NFL...

...it'd be on the Commissioner's Exempt list.

50 Shades of Gray

I'm not really interested in watching that film. In order to make me see it, someone would literally have to tie me up and drag me there.

Fifty Shades of Grey.

I hear that when you go see Fifty Shades of Grey, some theaters, to go along with the theme of the film, will tie moviegoers to their chairs. It has been determined that the real reason for this is that it is the only way to get people to sit through the entire movie.

Why do women find the guy in 50 Shades of Grey s**...?

beats me

My wife says we should spice up our s**... life with some stuff from 50 Shades of Gray.

First, she wants me to become a billionaire.

50 Shades of Little Johnny

Johnny's Mum was cleaning under his bed when she found a stash of b**... magazines.
A bit concerned she asks Johnny's Dad what he thinks she should do.
Johnny's Dad responds "whatever else you do, don't s**... him"

What kind of headphones are sold in 50 shades of grey?

Beats

I heard they were gonna make a movie about Michael Jackson

It was gonna be titled "50 Shades of Black".

After reading, 50 shades of grey, my wife asked to treat her like Anastasia

... so I got the Bolshevik secret police to m**... her family and I sold her to a Russian pig farmer.

50 Shades

He slowly but firmly grabs my t**.... I try to say goodbye and I choke. I try to walk away and I stumble...'
- of Macy Gray.

Man goes into a hardware store...

Says to the shopkeeper, "Can I have a roll of masking tape and some zip ties"
Shopkeeper smiles knowingly, "I'm sorry, thanks to the 50 Shades of Gray film we're out of stock"
The man winces and replies, "OK, just give me a chainsaw and some bin bags"

50 Fifty Shades of Green

Manatees come in all sorts of shades and hues

Oh the hue manatee

What's the hot new romance novel for nerds

256 shades of grey

Literary alcohol puns

I saw someone post some the other day. Has anyone thought of any new ones?
Here are a couple my friends and I thought of...
50 Shades of Grey Goose,
Into the Wild Turkey,
Beer and Present Danger,
Patriot Drinking Games,
The Sum of All Beers (I like Tom Clancy),
The Red Badge of Liquid Courage.

They're watching...

I was in my bathroom earlier and I heard weird noises coming from the sink.
Then, I walked to the upstairs window and noticed a man dressed in an all black suit with black shades, suspiciously walking around outside in the car park.
Beginning to think that someone might be phoning my taps.

What book does a gay horse read?

50 Shades of HaaAAaaayyy.

My son can only see in shades of beige,

Doctors have diagnosed him with colour-blandness.

You hear about that film parody of 50 Shades of Gray starring Ellen Degeneres that played like a literary classic?

It's called Dory 'N Gray.

Do you want to satisfy your h**... food f**...?

Buy my new book: 50 Shades of Grey Poupon

Going To The Movies

I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire p**... with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.
She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"
I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.

Did you know Michael Jacksons curtains lit on fire?

He was shades lighter after that...

I pranked my friend by coloring their face 3 different shades of blue in their sleep.

huehuehue.

My room is really dark, I think my window shades work too well...

I think they deserve a raise.

What is the equine book on b**... entitled?

Fifty Shades of Neigh

Have you heard they are make Fifty Shades of Red movie?

I heard its a period piece.

What movie are people coming early to?

Fifty Shades Freed.

What would a book on b**... culture written in alabama be called?

Fifty Shades of Hay.

Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement

Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."

What are a lamp's favorite type of glasses?

Shades!

What's the deal with lamp shades??

If you want a lamp, why do you need shade??

I remember doing a book report in elementary school on, "Fifty Shades of Grey".

I got a B+ and the teacher left a note saying, "thank god you didn't actually read the book, though I loved your creativity stating Christian Grey had 49 other clones".

My horse keeps getting a**... whenever I try and feed him

Maybe I should stop feeding him 50 shades of hay

Shades joke, My horse keeps getting a**... whenever I try and feed him

jokes about shades