Shades Grey Jokes
93 shades grey jokes and hilarious shades grey puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shades grey that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Shades Grey Short Jokes
Short shades grey jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shades grey humour may include short shades jokes also.
- What do Green eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
- I really wish some of the fantasies in 50 shades of grey were real... like how she got a job right out of college.
- I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 Shades of Grey... For example, the one where she gets a job right out of college.
- My wife said she wanted to see "Fifty Shades Of Grey". So I showed her a picture of her hair.
- 50 shades of grey would be a perfect title for a movie about a dog reading a map of the US.
- This week Lego Batman sold more tickets than the sequel to 50 Shades of Grey... When asked to comment about this 50 Shades stated "It's okay, I like to be dominated."
- Colorblind people are wondering why is everyone on Facebook is celebrating Fifty Shades of Grey
- I'm starting the dishes, and my wife is getting ready to go watch 50 Shades of Grey I guess you could say we are BOTH pre soaking.
- 50 shades of grey Girl 1: Hey have you read yet?
Girl 2: Yes! From cover to cover!
Girl 1: And the index?
Girl 2: Exhausted... - 50 shades of grey is a genius title but had they thought about it They should have added 19 more shades
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Shades Grey One Liners
Which shades grey one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shades grey? I can suggest the ones about gray and grey hair.
- My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!
- 50 SHADES ADMISSION 82% of women have admitted to reading 50 Shades of Grey with one hand
- Whats's Wolverine's favoirte book? 50 Shades of Jean Grey
- What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines? A greydient
- What kind of headphones are sold in 50 shades of grey? Beats
- What's the hot new romance novel for nerds 256 shades of grey
- If 50 Shades of Grey were in the NFL... ...it'd be on the Commissioner's Exempt list.
- I can feel my personality turning a dull shade of grey when I talk to you.
- Is your favorite color Grey? Because I've seen 50 Shades too many...
- What do you call 256 Shades of Grey? Grayscale
- The UK title of 50 Shades of Grey "The Sky"
- I read a historical erotica It's called 50 shades of CGP Grey
- My girlfriend went to 50 Shades of Grey last night, she said she wasn't impressed
- A Dogs Life: 50 shades of Grey Chapter 1: The chase
- 50 Shades of Grey It's basically Twilight for adults
Uproarious Shades Grey Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about shades grey you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shades grey pranks.
What do new car colours and your mom's literary collection have in common?
They both only have fifty shades of grey.
What colour were the old man's p**...?
50 shades of grey.
50 Shades of Grey
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "fifty shades of grey".
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to s**....
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.
She stood there n**... and n**...
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t*t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
The fishing trip
So four high school friends have gone fishing together every year for the last two decades. That was until this year, when Jim had to inform the group he couldn't make it.
"Look, it's the wife. She's been saying I haven't been spending enough time with her."
Of course, the others were upset but told him they couldn't rearrange all the schedules to make it work out this year, so they stuck to the date.
The morning of trip, the guys are unloading on the dock when Jim comes running up with his stuff.
"What's the deal, Jim?" asked one of the fishermen.
"So I came home from work last night and I found my wife in the bedroom. She was laying down with a spool of rope, some duct tape and a ball-gag, and told me how she's been reading *50 Shades of Grey*. She told me to tie her up and do anything I want. So, uhh, here I am!"
50 shades of grey
Girl 1: have you read ?
Girl 2: yep from cover to cover!
Girl 1: what about the index?
Gorl 2: tired from over use...
What would the gay guy's version of 50 shades of grey be?
50 shades of heeeeey.
My dad just got a book from B&Q
It's called 50 Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades of Grey
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Should I bring a box of tissues to the new 'Fifty Shades of Grey' film?
I hear it's very sad.
Coming on valentines day. Fifty shades of grey.
There won't be a dry seat in the cinema.
A blind man walks into a Fifty Shades of Grey theater
takes a deep breath and says " MMM ... I guess I'm at a fish market"
What do you call a n**... old man crawling out of a coal mine?
50 shades of grey's anatomy
I asked the girl I've been dating to see Fifty Shades of Grey with me this weekend, but I think she's worried were moving too fast.
She seemed concerned and said she didn't want to be tied down.
Experts are predicting a very wet day tomorrow...
They are urging cinemas showing 50 shades of grey to brace themselves.
If Barnes and Noble started selling paint, what colors would they sell?..
50 Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades of Grey beat the record for fastest selling R-rated movie in history...
Well, first it tied the record... then it beat it....
[credit goes to the Late Night with Seth Meyers writers]
Veggietales is making a version of 50 Shades of Grey...
It's called "The Artichoke Hearts".
Fifty Shades of Grey.
I hear that when you go see Fifty Shades of Grey, some theaters, to go along with the theme of the film, will tie moviegoers to their chairs. It has been determined that the real reason for this is that it is the only way to get people to sit through the entire movie.
I saw 50 Shades Of Grey the other day
Not in a theater. It was a home video of my grandma's bush
What do you get when you mix an Obama campaign slogan with Fifty Shades of Grey?
Rope and chains.
Why do women find the guy in 50 Shades of Grey s**...?
beats me
There's one fantasy scene in 50 Shades of Grey that I'd love to be part of in real life...
...specifically, the part where the protagonist gets a job straight out of college.
My wifes hair is so s**..., Its 50 shades of grey.
Some girl wanted me to take her to see 50 Shades of Grey...
So I took her to Sherwin-Williams.
50 shades of grey broke a lot of box office records for R-rated movies…
Well first it tied them, then it beat them.
Forty minutes before we get to the first s**... scene in Fifty Shades Of Grey?
They do beat around the bush...
After reading, 50 shades of grey, my wife asked to treat her like Anastasia
... so I got the Bolshevik secret police to m**... her family and I sold her to a Russian pig farmer.
Did you hear, Henry Winker is directing the new Fifty Shades of Grey Sequel?
Yeah, it comes out next year. It's called Fifty Shades of Aaaaayyy!
My dog's favorite movie is 50 Shades of Grey...
because the s**... is rrruff.
Being color blind really s**... but...
It's still not the worst way to see fifty shades of Grey
Four guys have been going to the same golfing trip to St Andrews for many years...
Two days before the group is to leave, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Jack's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later, the three get to St Andrews only to find Jack sitting at the bar with four drinks set up!
"Wow, Jack, how long you been here, and how did you talk your misses into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night..
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and
put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been
reading '50 Shades of Grey'......
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie
her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.
And then she said, 'Do whatever you want.'
So--- Here I am!
What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey?
To flick through it as fast as possible.
Marriage jokes
A woman turns to her husband on their silver wedding anniversary and says, 'Darling, will you still love me when my hair turns grey?' Her husband replies, 'Why not? I stuck with you through the other six shades.'
Literary alcohol puns
I saw someone post some the other day. Has anyone thought of any new ones?
Here are a couple my friends and I thought of...
50 Shades of Grey Goose,
Into the Wild Turkey,
Beer and Present Danger,
Patriot Drinking Games,
The Sum of All Beers (I like Tom Clancy),
The Red Badge of Liquid Courage.
Jokes so Bad that They're Funny
The midget psychic broke out of prison. He was a small medium at large.
A boiled egg in the morning is really hard to beat.
Newspaper headline reads: Cartoonist found dead at home. Details are sketchy.
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forget how it goes.
Here's a poem by a dog (Bo Burnham): Roses are grey, violets are another shade of grey, let's go chase cars.
The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
What did the cannibal get when he showed up to the party late? A cold shoulder.
(I'll see myself out.)
What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?
50 Shades of Earl Grey
Ever since they brought out a movie based on the book...
... it's impossible to tell if girls are referring to the movie or the book when they say 'I was just flicking through 50 Shades of Grey.'
Do you want to satisfy your h**... food f**...?
Buy my new book: 50 Shades of Grey Poupon
I was gunna write the great American nursing home romance novel...
....but the title "50 Shades of Grey" was already taken.
My girlfriend wanted to act out a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey
It was the scene where Christian wanted to buy Anastasia a new Audi...
What kind of person can't stop watching 'Fifty Shades of Grey'?
A colorblind synaesthesiac listening to the radio
Fifty Shades of Grey: Dog Edition
Dog Anastasia's Friend: "How did the interview go?"
Dog Anastasia: "Didn't even happen. I just couldn't figure out which one was Mr Grey"
In art class, I saw my friend making a gradient from dark to light on his paper with his pencil today.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Illustrating Fifty Shades of Grey..."
I was so excited. My wife said she wanted to live the life of 50 Shades of Grey ...
Then she stopped dyeing her hair.
Why did the characters from Fifty Shades of Grey get into a fight about fast food?
They couldn't agree where to go. Christian wanted Domino's, but Ana insisted on Subway!
What do you call someone who has watched all the "Shades of Grey" movies?
A glutton for punishment...
I remember doing a book report in elementary school on, "Fifty Shades of Grey".
I got a B+ and the teacher left a note saying, "thank god you didn't actually read the book, though I loved your creativity stating Christian Grey had 49 other clones".
I think it's only fair the week after Black Friday be called White Friday
And then with the remaining Fridays before the next Black Friday, you can have fifty shades of grey.
Fifty Shades of Grey has no plot.
It's just all c**....
Occupied with taking the virginity of virgins There is so much s**... in the Quran, hadiths and tafsirs,
you'll forget 50 shades of grey
[36:55]
Why does Bruce Banner have Fifty Shades of Grey on his iPhone?
Because he needs something to get him angry enough to turn him into the Hulk on short notice.
"Fifty Shades of Grey" gives its readers unrealistic expectations.
It makes them think that Vintage Books will publish anything that gets sent to them.
In my girlfriend's copy of 50 Shades of Grey I found a photo of me with the word "scumbag" written as a caption.
I guess I'm not in her good books.