The Best 69 Sexist Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sexist jokes. There are some sexist female jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sexist chauvinist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sexist Jokes and Puns

Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch.

A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

There's a new drug for lesbians on the market to cure depression, it's called Trycoxagain.

Sexist joke

If women aren't supposed to be in the kitchen, then why do they have milk and eggs inside them?!

How do you get a dishwasher to dig a hole? Give the woman a shovel!


After I have sex, I like my woman like my mailbox. Outside my house!

Why are companies who sell snacks sexist?

Cause they avoid trans fat

Sexist joke, Why are companies who sell snacks sexist?

What's the most useless thing on a woman?

A drunken Irishmen at 3am.

[EDIT]: This isn't meant to be sexist, it is self-defamation.

The Magic Mirror

In this public toilet, there's this magic mirror. Whenever you say something untruthful you disappear.

A red head walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the best legs in the world" and puff...she's gone.

Next a brunette walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the most sexist eyes" and puff...she's gone

Finally a blonde walks into the toilets and says "I think..." and puff she's gone!

A very sexist from my high school days

Person 1, "Your dishwasher stops working and like any good mechanic you hit it and tell it to get back to work, and it does. You return later to find dishes that are only half clean. Why?"
Person 2, "I have no clue."
Person 1, "You must have hit her in the eye."

What did the sexist man say when his girlfriend asked for his coat?

If you can't stand the cold, stay in the kitchen.

You can explore sexist feminism reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sexist discriminatory dad jokes. There are also sexist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Being a sexist doesn't bother me at all.

The only people that will call me a sexist are women and their opinion doesn't matter.

I can tell we still live in a sexist society because...

Doctors still make more money than nurses.

I heard the government were going to give on the spot fines to bad drivers

I thought that's a bit sexist.

Cr

It's crazy how sexist the postal service is.

I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.

What's a Racist, Homophobe, Sexist, Bigot, or Hater?

Anyone winning an argument with a liberal.

Sexist joke, What's a Racist, Homophobe, Sexist, Bigot, or Hater?

The difference between sexists and misogynists...

Sexist: I like my women like I like my jeans - loose in the crotch!

Mysogynist: I like my women like I like my jeans - acid washed!

I'm not sexist.

Being sexist is wrong and being wrong is for woman.

A racist, a sexist and a priest walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "Hey Bill, drinking alone tonight?"


Im not sexist...

Because thats wrong and being wrong is for women

Women are just as sexist as men

But just like everything else, men are just better at it.

Met a woman at the bar the other night

She was absolutely stunning. At least at 11/10. I asked her where she's from and what she does. She said "I live around here, and I'm a brain surgeon."

Now I don't know if it's sexist of me, but I was really impressed.

Most women can't pull off sarcasm.

If I had a dollar every time someone called me sexist...

I'd have enough money to sponsor the repealing of the 19th Amendment.

I laugh at anyone who proudly states they are getting a degree in Gender Studies.

Not because I'm sexist, but because that's a stupid-ass thing to get a degree in.

Why was the programmer sexist?

Because he treats women like objects.

How many basement dwellers and deplorables does it take to change a lightbulb?

That's ridiculous I saw on CNN that Hillary has already changed the lightbulb Plus it's not dark and the light bulb isn't broken and anyway who told you it was broken Vladimir Putin? What are you sexist?

What do you call a sexist masseuse?

A massage-ynist.

Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because...

He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...

So a sexist man is having sex with another mans wife...

The husband comes home from work and sees this man drilling his wife on the kitchen counter.

The man says, "Oh hey Paul, I'm just loading the dishwasher!"

My girlfriend often accuses me of telling sexist, condescending jokes that target women.

I've explained to her those jokes are actually ironic jabs at the current state of post-modern feminism, designed to highlight societal double standards across genders.

So she needn't worry her pretty little head about it.

How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, let her cook in the dark.

If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist...

I'd probably be earning more than the average woman.

If my wife made a dollar for every sexist joke I make

She'd be $.77 richer right now

I was told by a female friend that I was being sexist and should look at things from a woman's perspective more often

But I can't see very much from my kitchen window

Society is so sexist

When a guy sleeps around with many women, he's called a jock.

When a woman sleeps around with many men, she's called your Mom.

What did the man say to the feminist to get her angry?

Nothing. The fact that he didn't say anything to her made her think that he thought he was superior and therefore a sexist, misogynistic, scum of the earth

Trump has been criticized for being incredibly sexist, homophobic, fundementalist, and wanting to bring back slavery

In other words, he's been criticized for acting like a Muslim.

If I had a dollar every time I was called sexist...

I'd be making more money than the average woman

A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist

So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.

Which one is different from the other three and why - a fridge, a washing machine, a tv or a woman?

Most people say it's the tv because it's the only one that doesn't belong in the kitchen but they are sexist. It's the tv because it's the only one that doesn't leak when it's fudked.

The wage gap is sexist, because a woman gets 70 cents for every dollar a man makes...

... then the man is only left with 30 cents. That's messed up.

Today a woman called me "the most sexist man she'd ever met"

When will these dumb broads understand that "sexiest" is spelled with two E's and not one?

What do you call a sexist Masseuse?

A Massaginist!

It's an awful joke I came up with last night and couldn't stop giggling thinking about it.

If there's anything my wife has taught me about being sexist,

It's probably wrong because she's a woman.

The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

A person who discriminates race is racist; Sex- sexist, age- ageist, disability- ableist, religion-

Realist

A rapist, a sexist and a racist walk into a bar

Barman: How can I help you Mr. President?

My favorite winter Olympic sport is women's curling...

Because it's the one time every four years I can yell, sweep harder at a woman, and no one thinks it's because I'm a sexist pig.

You know, garbage man as a job title is a little sexist and outdated.

We should call them garbage people instead.

It's International Women's Day today. I guess I should make some sort of sexist joke.

I'll have to simplify it for the women.

Programmers are so sexist...

They treat their dates as objects.

What's a violent and sexist book club called?

ISIS.

Iron Man is sexist

The fellas down at Marvel need to create an Iron Woman. She would use her super strength and agility to get even the toughest stains out of my office slacks.

I am not a sexist but...

female mosquitos don't belong in a workplace. They the suck the life right out of you.

What banks are the most sexist?

Sperm banks cause they only accept deposits from men

Some people play the sexist card. Some people play the racist card. Guess what my wife plays?

My credit card.

My wife was teaching our children that Barbie and Disney were sexist and misogynistic.

I happen to believe that children learn through examples set by their parents.

So I told my wife to shut her yap and get back in the kitchen.

What are the simularities in between a sexist man and a slave owner

Somebody is making the sandwich, and it isn't gonna be them

I'm voting for an old, senile, racist, sexist, white man with rape allegations this year for president.

But I'm still not sure which one to pick.

My girlfriend thinks Hawaii is sexist.

I told her we had all-mail voting.

I would never be sexist, sexism is wrong

And being wrong is for women

Is it sexist....

...I just assume Dr. Pepper is a guy?

If my coworker had a dollar for every time i made a sexist joke...

She would have Β’0.77

If I had one dollar for every sexist joke I've made

I'd have 79 cents

Why do women hate sexist jokes?

Because they only get 77% of them.

A black Christian man and a white Jewish man walk into a bar...

"That's racist!"

Okay, so a Christian man and a Jewish man walk into a bar...

"That's religionist!"

Okay, so two men walk into a bar...

"That's sexist!"

Okay, so a man and a woman walk into a bar...

"That's homophobic!"

Okay, so two people walk into a bar...

"That's ableist!"

Okay, so two people enter a bar...

"That promotes alcoholism!"

Okay, so two people enter a place...

"Animals have rights too!"

Okay, so two animals, which may or may not be human, enter a place...

"I've heard this one before!"

As a proud family man, the amount of raunchy, tasteless, sexist and offensive jokes you perverts are posting in this sub is frankly disappointing

Is there a filter or flair so I can see only NSFW jokes so I don't have to scroll past all the clean jokes?

Ginny and Georgia sexist joke

What do you care? You go through men faster than Taylor Swift!

I'd like to take the opportunity on this, International Women's Day, to refute allegations that I'm a sexist.

I've got a friend who's a woman. And I believe she should be treated as if she *is* equal.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sexist patriarchal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sexist homophobe piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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