sexist Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious sexist puns

If there's anything my wife has taught me about being sexist,

It's probably wrong because she's a woman.

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If my wife made a dollar for every sexist joke I make

She'd be $.77 richer right now

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If I had a penny for every time someone called me sexist...

I'd probably be earning more than the average woman.

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It's crazy how sexist the postal service is.

I guess that's natural with such a mail dominated industry.

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Im not sexist...

Because thats wrong and being wrong is for women

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Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because...

He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...

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What do you call a sexist Masseuse?

A Massaginist!

It's an awful joke I came up with last night and couldn't stop giggling thinking about it.

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I was told by a female friend that I was being sexist and should look at things from a woman's perspective more often

But I can't see very much from my kitchen window

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Women are just as sexist as men

But just like everything else, men are just better at it.

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Being a sexist doesn't bother me at all.

The only people that will call me a sexist are women and their opinion doesn't matter.

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Met a woman at the bar the other night

She was absolutely stunning. At least at 11/10. I asked her where she's from and what she does. She said "I live around here, and I'm a brain surgeon."


Now I don't know if it's sexist of me, but I was really impressed.


Most women can't pull off sarcasm.

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What did the man say to the feminist to get her angry?

Nothing. The fact that he didn't say anything to her made her think that he thought he was superior and therefore a sexist, misogynistic, scum of the earth

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A racist, a sexist and a priest walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "Hey Bill, drinking alone tonight?"

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If I had a dollar every time I was called sexist...

I'd be making more money than the average woman

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Everyone's always accusing me of being a sexist!

But I'm pretty sure my penis is a feminist. It's super into women.

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I can tell we still live in a sexist society because...

Doctors still make more money than nurses.

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My girlfriend often accuses me of telling sexist, condescending jokes that target women.

I've explained to her those jokes are actually ironic jabs at the current state of post-modern feminism, designed to highlight societal double standards across genders.

So she needn't worry her pretty little head about it.

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A rapist, a sexist and a racist walk into a bar

Barman: How can I help you Mr. President?

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A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist

So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.

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My favorite winter Olympic sport is women's curling...

Because it's the one time every four years I can yell, sweep harder at a woman, and no one thinks it's because I'm a sexist pig.

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What's a Racist, Homophobe, Sexist, Bigot, or Hater?

Anyone winning an argument with a liberal.

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The wage gap is sexist, because a woman gets 70 cents for every dollar a man makes...

... then the man is only left with 30 cents. That's messed up.

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What do you call a sexist masseuse?

A massage-ynist.

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The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

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So a sexist man is having sex with another mans wife...

The husband comes home from work and sees this man drilling his wife on the kitchen counter.

The man says, "Oh hey Paul, I'm just loading the dishwasher!"

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The Magic Mirror

In this public toilet, there's this magic mirror. Whenever you say something untruthful you disappear.

A red head walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the best legs in the world" and puff...she's gone.

Next a brunette walks into the toilets and says "I think I have the most sexist eyes" and puff...she's gone

Finally a blonde walks into the toilets and says "I think..." and puff she's gone!

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I am not a sexist but...

female mosquitos don't belong in a workplace. They the suck the life right out of you.

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You know, garbage man as a job title is a little sexist and outdated.

We should call them garbage people instead.

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Trump has been criticized for being incredibly sexist, homophobic, fundementalist, and wanting to bring back slavery

In other words, he's been criticized for acting like a Muslim.

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What banks are the most sexist?

Sperm banks cause they only accept deposits from men

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Today a woman called me "the most sexist man she'd ever met"

When will these dumb broads understand that "sexiest" is spelled with two E's and not one?

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At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said...

At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said "last year we talked about making our husband's do more of the work often considered women's work, let's hear how that went."
First a lady from the USA got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more cleaning until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he cleaned the whole house from top to bottom." Everyone cheered.
Next a lady from Britain stood up and said "I told my husband I wasn't doing laundry until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he not only did his laundry, but mine as well." More cheers.
Then a lady from Australia got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more grocery shopping until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye"

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A person who discriminates race is racist; Sex- sexist, age- ageist, disability- ableist, religion-

Realist

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The Sexist Professor

The anthropology professor was well known for making sexist comments and jokes in class much to the dismay of the feminist female students. The women students got together outside class and decided that after the next sexist comment from the professor they would stand up and walk out of class in solidarity.
The next day the professor, while lecturing on a certain African tribe, said: " and you ladies will be glad to know that the average penis size of the tribesmen is 12 inches!"
At that moment all the women in the class stood up and began filing out. The professor then said: "Wait! Wait ladies! The next flight to Nairobi doesn't leave until tomorrow morning!"

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How many sexists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, let her cook in the dark.

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What are the most funny Sexist jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Sexist? Well, here are the best Sexist dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Sexist pick up lines to share with friends.

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