Sewing Jokes

Funniest Sewing Short Jokes

Short sewing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sewing humour may include short sewer jokes also.

1. According to my sewing instructor, I'm easily the worse student She's ever had.. Oops... sorry, wrong thread.
2. What did Captain Picard say to the engineer when the Enterprise's sewing machine broke? Make it sew.
3. I'm trying to think of a sewing pun but I'm really struggling. I needle the help I can get.
4. My friend composes songs about sewing machines. He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams. (Don't hate me.)
5. I have a friend who writes lyrics about sewing machines She is a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams
   They'll keep you bobbin your head.
6. My friend writes songs about sewing machines... Yes...He's a Singer songwriter....or sew it seams !!
7. Everybody in the village agreed that I did an excellent job of sewing their mouths shut. After I left, they were humming my praises.
8. I think my wife's sewing machine is on the blink. I'm not sure what's wrong, it just doesn't seam right.
9. Just started a job that requires me to sew two people's anuses together Not a dream job, but it makes ends meet.
10. I told my doctor that I could sew stitches better than he could. He replied, "Fine, suture self".

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Sewing One Liners

Which sewing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sewing? I can suggest the ones about knitting and seamstress.

1. I asked the doctor if I could sew up my own wound. He said "suture self"
2. Today i made a mistake while sewing. Oops, wrong thread.
3. I've got a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He's a singer songwriter.
4. My friend composes lyrics about sewing machines. She's a Singer songwriter.
5. My friend writes songs about sewing machines. He's a singer songwriter or sew it seams.
6. I thought I fixed my pants, but apparently the stitching fell out... Or sew it seams.
7. I hired a hitman to clean up my sewing He has been tying up all the loose ends.
8. I come from a very musical family Even the sewing machine's a singer
9. My friend writes songs about sewing machines. He's a Singer song writer.
10. Link to the ultimate guide for sewing and hemming clothing. Sorry, wrong thread.
11. I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts. Well sew it seams anyway.
12. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They always drop their needles!
13. Christmas trees are bad at sewing They always drop their needles.
14. Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands? They do not sew
15. What do you say to an angry woman sitting at a sewing machine? You seem stressed.

Sewing Machine Jokes

Here is a list of funny sewing machine jokes and even better sewing machine puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I have a friend who writes ballads about antique sewing machines... He's a Singer songwriter it seams...
• How can you tell if a sewing machine is trustworthy? If it seams legit
• Coffee Coffee: you haven't had enough until you can thread a sewing machine needle while it's running.
• What did Jean-Luc Picard say when Engineering offered to fix his electric sewing machine? Make it sew!
• I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines So there's a singer/songwriter... or sew it seams.
• So my wife got a new sewing machine this week and I know what you guys are thinking.... ...sew what?
• [OC] What did the fabric say to the sewing machine? You seam to keep things together around here.
• What's the difference between a woman running down stairs and a sewing machine? A sewing machine has only one bobbin.
• Two sewing machines were walking down the road... As they pass by each other one says to the other "Hey are you that Singer?".
  The other replies "Janome?".
• I know we get a lot of dad jokes...here's a mom one What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?
  Make it sew!

Sewing Needles Jokes

Here is a list of funny sewing needles jokes and even better sewing needles puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Last night I ran out of sewing needles. I should go to the supermarket and grab myself a punnet.
• Mom: I don't think you know what it means to thread a needle through cloth. Child: Yeah. Sew?
• The worst job I ever had was at the canvas factory, pushing a large needle through 50 layers of cloth over and over and over... Sew boring!
• Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
• I woke up with pins and needles in my arm Maybe I should put the sewing kit away before I go to sleep next time.
• I recently started sewing myself a sweater but I didn't have all the proper equipment... ...needle-less to say, I didn't get very far.
• I am trying to think of a sewing pun. but do i really needle?
• The sword s**... went to a sewing store to buy pins and needles He was on a diet
• Why do Christmas trees s**... at sewing? They're always dropping their needles!

Sewing Thread Jokes

Here is a list of funny sewing thread jokes and even better sewing thread puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was going to make a joke about thread but… It would have been sew bad
• Tragic sewing accident kills woman and three children... Whoops, wrong thread.
• How to sew... >! THREAD !<
• Memo for our next sewing club meeting! Oops wrong thread!

Singer Sewing Machine Jokes

Here is a list of funny singer sewing machine jokes and even better singer sewing machine puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I write songs about sewing machines I'm a Singer Songwriter

Gather Around for Fun Sewing Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about sewing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean weaving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sewing pranks.