Seventy Jokes
7 seventy jokes and hilarious seventy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seventy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh your way through Seventy Jokes! Get ready to chuckle at jokes from a variety of ages, from sixteen all the way to seventy. Our jokes will make you laugh through the decades, from the roaring twenties to the eighties. Whether you’re thirty or seventy, enjoy a laugh for all ages!
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What is a good seventy joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A wife is good for seventy things,
cleaning, and 69.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Confession
A Jewish guy goes into a confession box. "Father O'Malley," he says, "my name is Emil Cohen. I'm seventy eight years old. Believe it or not, I'm currently involved with a 28 year old girl, and also, on the side, her 19 year old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better." "My good man," says the priest, "I think you've come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?" And the guy goes: "I'm telling everybody!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Man Was Walking A Tightrope....
Good joke from *House of Leaves*
There was this twenty five year old guy walking a tightrope across a deep river gorge while half way around the world another twenty five year old guy was getting a b**... from a seventy year old woman, but get this, at the same moment both men were thinking the exact same thought. You know what it was?
Don't look down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old man at the hospital.
An old man comes to the doctor and says:
"I have this whistling sound in my ear after s**...!".
The doctor asks: "How old are you?"
"Seventy five"
"Well what do you want?! Applause?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a video of a birthday party for a seventy year old breast cancer survivor ?
"Not your proudest fap."
Geriatric problems
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says: "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."
The second old man says: "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up: "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."
An Italian guy, a Turkish guy, a Polish guy and a German guy.
The four men are walking across a beach and come a cross a bottle with a genie in it. The genie says she'll grant each of the men one wish. The Italian guy says, "well I'd just like a nice beach to lounge around and drink cappuccinos at". The genie grants him his wish and he disappears. Next is the Turkish guy who says "I'd like to be in heaven with seventy virgins like in the Koran." The genie grants him his wish and he disappears. Next up is the Polish guy who says "I'd like to be driving on a highway with a nice car that would make all of my friends jealous". The genie grants him his wish.
Finally the German man is set to make a wish but he says "well I guess now I don't really have any wishes."
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