Seventh Jokes
48 seventh jokes and hilarious seventh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seventh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Seventh Short Jokes
Short seventh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seventh humour may include short sixth jokes also.
- In Newcastle, England many people don't like to live above the seventh floor in a tower block They have a fear of Eights
- How do we know there are no women in heaven? Revelation 8:1 says: "And when he openeth the seventh seal, there came silence in the heaven about half-an-hour"
- I remember my seventh grade teacher telling me "All jokes have to have a punchline, otherwise they aren't funny." I guess she was right.
- It only took me one drink to get drunk... I just can't remember if it was the seventh or the eighth
(George Burns) - I know a guy who religiously gets his teeth checked once per week . He's a Seventh Day A Dentist
- Why couldn't the Geordie go above the seventh floor in the tower block? He had a fear of eights
- Why can't Christians stay in court longer than a week? Because on the seventh day they rest their case.
- A musical joke... So G# is in a bar when the bartender says
"Hey! Your the seventh minor I've seen here tonite!" - Police Chief: There has been a car hi on Seventh Street Police Officer: Don't you mean a hijack?
Chief: No, he had an iPhone 7 - It is said that God made the world in six days, and rested on the seventh day. Does that make it an eccle-*siesta*?
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Seventh One Liners
Which seventh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seventh? I can suggest the ones about eighth and number 7.
- I see Alec Baldwin is having a seventh child He clearly doesn't shoot blanks
- What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land? "Aw *hail* naw!"
- If there was a competition for precision... I'd come sixty seventh.
- It is better to be on seventh heaven, rather than on the seventh month.
- What was Ghandi's favorite part of a baseball game? The seventh inning stretch.
- Did you know six out of seven guys don't mind orgys? It's the seventh guy that hates it.
- One-seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
- Why was the relgious seventh grader sad? He was made fun of by eighthiests
- What's the seventh Noble Gas? King Farthur.
- You guys wanna know what's bad? Michael Jackson's Seventh album
- I hate Michael Jackson's seventh studio album It's just bad.
- I can't go higher than the seventh floor in a building. I have a fear of eights
- I entered a m**... contest... I came in first, fourth and seventh.
Cheerful Seventh Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about seventh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ninth jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make seventh pranks.
A dying husband in a hospital bed asks his wife, "Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?"
His wife, crying uncontrollably answers, "Yes."
He asks, "Whose is it?"
His wife replies, "Yours!"
A young man sits down at a bar and says, "I want six shots of Jagermeister."
"Six shots!?" exclaims the bartender, "Are you celebrating something?"
"My first b**...," replies the young man.
"Well, in that case," says the bartender, slapping him on the back, "let me give you a seventh on the house."
The man holds up his hand, "No offense, sir. But if six shots don't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
Number 7
Mark dreams number 7.
He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.
He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.
Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.
Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.
The horse comes seventh.
Plank goes to a ball game
A small plank of wood goes to Watch a baseball game. For the first few innings, the plank is super into it. But by the seventh inning, its interest starts to fade.
A man nearby notices the fading enjoyment and starts up a conversation.
"Hey man, how you liking the game?" He asks.
"I really like it. I think it's pretty cool" the small plank replies.
"Really," says the man, "cuz it seems to me like you're a little board."
A short, but funny one
A 103 year old man lay dying in his hospital bed and asks his wife Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?
His wife crying uncontrollably answers Yes
He asks Whose is it?
His wife replies Yours
I bought ten bananas and began peeling each one as perfectly as I could. After finishing the seventh banana and beginning the next, I realised I had missed a small piece of the peel, just near the top. So being a total perfectionist I stuck the peel back on and did it again ...
Yes folks, it seems I just re\-peeled the eighth.
A man goes to the bar and sees a dirty old man outside, fishing in the ditch with a stick and a string.
Feeling pity for the invalid, he invites him into the bar and buys him a drink. The man is grateful and repeatedly thanks him.
"You were fishing outside, have you caught anything?" he asks the old man jokingly.
He replies, smiling. "Yes! You are the seventh today!"
A seventh grader asked his English teacher a question in class
"Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H .......in Hour, Honour. .....etc. She replied, "We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent."
During lunch break that day, the teacher gave the student her packed lunch and asked him to heat it in the Cafeteria. He ate all the food and returned her the empty container.
Shocked, she asked: "What happened? The boy replied: "Madam, I thought 'H' was silent.
Adam and Eve had been brainstorming with God for what felt like an eternity.
"Two dozen hours?" asked Adam.
"One seventh of a week?" suggested Eve.
God shook his head and sighed. "Let's just call it a day."
On the seventh day God rested when He should've fixed the bugs.
Just came up with this after dealing with somebody's p**....
First I dated a seventh day adventist and then a m**...
I told my mom that im not just in it for the sects but she doesn't believe me.
Eight Iron
Off the seventh tee, Joe sliced his shot deep into a wooded ravine. He took his eight iron and clambered down the embankment in search of his lost ball.
After many long minutes of hacking at the underbrush, he spotted something glistening in the leaves. As he drew nearer, he discovered that it was an eight iron in hands of a skeleton!
Joe immediately called out to his friend, "Jack, I've got trouble down here!"
"What's the matter?" Jack asked from the edge of the ravine.
"Bring me my wedge," Joe shouted. "This shot in impossible an eight iron!"
The wish.
One day, a married couple walked into a temple. The preist said "today is a fortunate day for praying, you both pray to god and ask a wish each and it will be granted"
The Wife prays "God, I hope me and my husband stay together for 7 lives"
Husband after listening this, prays "God, may this be the seventh life of us staying together".
A group of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter a beer...
By the seventh order the bartender asks them "is this some sort of a joke?"
The last mathematician explains "no, we just know our limits".
A rabbi comes home and tells his wife
A rabbi comes home and tells his wife: "Honey, I made seven people happy today. I had three couples married."
"Who's the seventh person?" asks the wife.
"Do you really think I did it for free?" says the rabbi.
"Hey Dave!"
A guy is sitting in the left field bleachers of a baseball stadium, watching the game. In the first inning, someone pretty far behind him yells, "HEY DAVE!" The guy turns around and can't find who was yelling it.
This happens again in the fourth inning, and once more in the seventh. Frustrated at this point, the guy turns around and yells, "MY NAME'S NOT DAVE!!!"
What's the difference between falling from the seventh floor and falling from the second?
7th floor:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
...
*thud*
2nd floor:
*thud*
...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Sorry.
My mom said that every day that has the number "one" in it, we can go on the computer, weird rule, but oh well, I have no choice but to follow it.
The first comes around, I ask my mom if I can go on the computer, she said no. I'm confused now, then the second comes, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh. I ask her again. No, twelfth, nope! I sit on the couch.
I sigh. "Maybe one day I'll get to go on the computer."
My mother replies, "that's the plan."
Her: I think you should seek a therapist help
Me: Well, all my six personalities agree with you, but I'm the seventh so f*c**... you, aunt Evelyn!
