Seventeen Jokes
19 seventeen jokes and hilarious seventeen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seventeen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Seventeen jokes can add a bit of fun to any event. Get ready to laugh with our collection of seventeen jokes ranging from age-related humor to inside jokes about the popular K-pop group, Seventeen. From process jokes to ricin jokes, let's get through these together. Enjoy!
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Funniest Seventeen Short Jokes
Short seventeen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seventeen humour may include short sixteen jokes also.
- If Johnny buys seventeen donuts every Monday and eats twelve of them each Wednesday, what is Johnny left with at the end of the year? Diabetes
- If you overthrow the government in exactly seventeen syllables... ... is it a Hai-coup?
Technically a bilingual pun, hope that's not violating rule 8... - What is Donald Trump's favorite word salad? Longing. Rusted. Seventeen. Daybreak. Furnace. Nine. Benign. homecoming. One. Freight car.
- I have always wondered what people did for fun before the Internet existed. My seventeen siblings don't know the answer either.
- During a fire in my apartment block, I carried my mother-in-law down seventeen flights of stairs. Just so I could throw her into the flames.
- Every seventeen minutes a woman gives birth in this country. We must stop this woman before it's late.
- farmer: how many cows got out? **me:** seventeen
**farmer:** round 'em up
**me:** ok twenty
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Seventeen One Liners
Which seventeen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seventeen? I can suggest the ones about seventy and eleven.
- Wikipedia has been around for seventeen years now! [Citation needed]
- I have unlimited power!* *for seventeen cents per kilowatt hour
- Why did the absurdist cross the road? Seventeen fish sticks.
- Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me seventeen times, that's more like it.
Playful Seventeen Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about seventeen you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fifteen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make seventeen pranks.
A Jew, a Catholic, and a m**... all walk into a bar...
The Jewish man boasts, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team." The Catholic man says, "That's nothing! I have ten sons. One more and I'll have a soccer team!" The m**... stands up and proclaims, "Big deal! I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course!"
Two students were complaining about math class.
"I hate math. Well, I really just hate numbers." "What do you mean?" "Take seventeen, for instance. I hate seventeen. There's nothing good about seventeen." "What's so bad about seventeen?" "Nothing really. It's just a prime example."
A guy walks past a mental hospital
A guy is walking past a mental hospital with a high privacy fence, and can hear some kind of chant going on. As he gets closer, he hears them chanting, "sixteen! Sixteen! Sixteen!"Curious as to what is going on, he notices a small hole in the fence. He walks over and presses his face to it to try and see in, only to get poked in the eyes. The chant continues, "Seventeen! Seventeen! Seventeen!"
A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because...
... of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally, the old girl passed away. On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years". His wife looked at him aghast. "\*MY\* Aunt Emma!" she cried. "I thought she was \*YOUR\* Aunt Emma!"
Two old men sitting on a park bench discussing their junk
First one says, I'll bet you mine is longer soft than yours is hard.
Second one says, That's ridiculous. I've known you my whole life. Never have you, _or your wife_, bragged of such a thing.
Fifty bucks says mine is longer soft than yours is hard.
You're on. How long is yours soft?
Seventeen years.
A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma.
For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding.
Finally the old girl passed away.
On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years."
His wife looked at him aghast... "My Aunt Emma?" she cried, "I thought she was your Aunt Emma!"
I purchased a bottle of whiskey and then got worried that should I fall off my bicycle, the bottle would break.
Instead, I decided to drink it now. Definitely a good decision, I fell off seventeen times on my way back home.
Read the punchline out loud. I first heard this in high school, not sure how well it translates to print.
Poor Tom.
When he was seven, he lost his left eye in a tragic accident. Being from a poor family, the only replacement they could afford was a wooden eye.
When he was seventeen, three weeks before the prom, he was still dateless. He decided to work up the courage to ask someone, but he knew he has limits. He set his eye of Amy, a girl in his class, who spoke with a lisp.
He walked up to her at lunch, while she was surrounded by her friends, and he managed to stammer out a quiet "willyougotothepromwithme?"
"Whath that? I can't hear what you're thaying."
"Will you go to the prom? With me?" he answered, a little louder.
Amy smiled. She never thought anyone would ask her!
"Go with you? Would I? Would I?"
"LISP LISP LISP!"
A Canadian in New York
A Canadian is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Canadian baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Canuck just shrugs, "That's about average up North, folks... like I said, my boy's a typical Canadian baby boy."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW" were heard.
Two weeks later the Canadian returns to the bar.
The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Canadian baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. We were gonna call you. So how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born."
The Canadian father takes a slow swig from his Molson beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,
"Had him circumcised".
