Setups For Jokes

Does anybody have a joke where the punchline would make no sense if heard alone? I'm thinking like in movies and shows where you come in on a character telling the punchline and everybody laughs hysterically.

I've always wanted to hear the setup to one of those type of jokes.

Three people are given the death sentence...

They are given a choice, guillotine or rifle for their execution.
The first convict states he will take the guillotine. When they setup and release, the blade gets stuck and the sheriff states "it is not your time, you may go."
The second decides on guillotine as well, the blade gets stuck and they also let him free.
The third says "Well, since the guillotine isn't working, I will take death by rifle."

Request: A joke involving an Indian, an Irish, an Aussie and a Brazilian

This resumes the current setup at home, whenever I tell someone it sounds like I'm starting a joke... please help me finding a real joke to use.

I can't find this joke.

No, that was not a setup for a joke, I can't remember the original joke that goes something like
"I'm as straight as an uncooked noodle."
"Well even noodles get curvy when things get s**...," or whatever.
I can't find it and I'm frustrated.
Please help. If anybody finds it I'll reply a joke to them.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig.
(I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

I'll make the punchline, you create the set-up.

And that's how I found out...
what toxic shock means.

I've only heard the setup for this joke, anybody know the rest?

A Jew and a p**... are in a rainstorm...
That's all I know and I've been dying to find out the rest. Anybody have any ideas?

Here's a joke without a setup or a punchline.

That was the joke.
(Credit to: Liam Williams UK comedian)

My school does a class on jokes...

But I gave it up after the lecture on setups.
The teacher is SO old...

A setup and a punchline walk into a bar.

The setup says "Hi."
The punchline replies: "I thought we wanted to get drunk."

I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."

So here goes:
Walk forwards.
Turn left.
Pasteurization.

Sometimes I'll write the setup for a really good pun but just get bored and give up...

I've been accused of being a deadbeat dad-joker.

Camping.

An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip. They set-up their tent and fell asleep. Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father- "Look up to the sky and tell me what you see."
Son- "I see millions of stars."
Father- "And what does that tell you?"
Son- "Astronomically, it tells that there are millions of galaxies and planets."
Father slaps the son hard and says- "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent"

Google the punch line , find meme to replace setup

Q:?why can't two Asians create a Caucasian ? A: because two Wongs don't make a white .

It's true that the following punchline is the best

It's false that the previous setup is the worst

The author of a college textbook writes a joke with the setup: "Suppose that there is a bird in your hand."

The punchline is left as an exercise for the reader.

Interesting title

Setup
Bait
Punchline
I swear to god, someone will repost this and get to front page

I setup a Facebook group for Chinese n**...'s.

So far it's got three r**...'s.

This is the setup-- You're waiting behind people to get a drink at a school dance. And this is the punchline--

So Tech Source got robbed........

Some people say it was a setup
I suppose it would be fitting
He's kind of obsessed with setups

My friends secretly downloaded a 700MB exe file into my laptop.

I think it's a huge setup.

The setups were walking along, minding their own business, when suddenly they started, turned, and checked behind them, confused.

There was no bar.

Two comedians are walking on a street

"Are you more of a set-up or punch-line kind of person?", asks the first.
The second replies: "Oh, definitely a set-up person."

A priest, a rabbi, and a hipster walk into a bar...

The hipster says "man, this set-up is soooo played-out. I'm not gonna ruin my cred by staying, so I'm outie 5000." He then gets on his fixed-gear bicycle and rides it home to his loft that he pays for with money from his trust fund. He reads Bukowski by tap light in his futon until he falls asleep. And he lived ironically ever after.

A student asked for a makeup exam due to being hospitalized for testicular torsion.

Can you believe the b**... on this guy?
​
Note: the setup to the punchline is real.

I took a class on how to tell jokes, but I dropped out after the lesson on setups.

The professor was so old...

Bob Seger sits in a park with a tired-eyed old man. He's learning how to play chess.

After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.
Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.
Two in one direction, then one to the side.
Hm, funny how the knight moves.

Did you hear about the new shipping company merger?

COVID has skyrocketed the demand for delivery services, causing an unforeseen merger in the works. To ensure the people get the best package delivery and express service, UPS and FedEx are joining forces...and they are calling themselves FedUp (:
(My dad made this joke up a long time ago I just added the COVID setup)

Fake out clean jokes

Some of my favorite jokes are ones where the set-up sounds like it's going to be offensive, but the punch line takes it back to clean town. My top 3 examples:
I like my email passwords like I like my ladies... Same one for the last 10 years.
If it wasn't for the Arabs, we'd have never had 9/11! We'd have had IX/XI.
What do you call a black guy on the moon? \*delivered with a bit of disgust\* An astronaut, you racist!
Any others like this?

A baton-twirling dancer walks into bar...

The bartender is delighted to see her.
"It's so good to see a fresh face It's so drab seeing the same lawyers and rabi's here! Like, can you get any more tired of the same setup?"
"I know!" replies the dancer, "I'm so sick of those overused..."
Just then, a horse walks into a bar. The bartender rolls his eyes and the dancer sighs and begins walking over to the horse, baton in hand.
"What are you doing?" asks the bartender.
The baton-twirling dancer turns, "I'm not entirely sure yet, but it looks like we're about to beat a dead horse."

An endangered penguin escapes from its habitat, and manages to get into a swordfish tank.

The aquarium staff begin to freak out as the swordfish begins to attack the penguin, but their fears are dispersed as the penguin manages to get the upper hand, and beat back its assaulter.
As the staff look on in stunned silence, one turns to the other. "I guess it's true, the penguin is mightier than the swordfish." he says.
​
Yeah, the setup is lame, but the punchline is pretty good.
Besides, I have faith you'll like it.
After all, a good pun is its own re-word.