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Set Jokes

144 set jokes and hilarious set puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about set that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article delves into the fascinating world of set jokes, discussing the different types of sets like film sets, swing sets, drum sets, mic sets, and train sets, as well as the tools used to extinguish them like fixtures and accessories. Learn what sets mean in comedy and read funny set jokes to get a few laughs.

Funniest Set Short Jokes

Short set jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The set humour may include short access jokes also.

  1. Why is Metallica the safest band to listen to in an airport? Because they haven't set off a metal detector since 1989.
  2. I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son's train set that I threw the bedsheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
  3. Cigarettes are like hamsters Totally harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and set it on fire.
  4. The Government is mandating that I set my clocks back before I go to bed tonight, but I'm going to do MY OWN research, thank you very much. My clocks, my choice.
  5. I was sitting at the bar arranging peanuts into piles of 1, 3, 5 and 7. The bartender asked me if I was trying to set up some odd joke. I told him No, but I would have done that in my prime.
  6. My buddy set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby." I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper...
  7. carnival is offering a new voyage where you set sail and leave a bunch of senior citizens behind in the snow. It's called a Ted Cruise
  8. The recipe said, Set the oven to 180 degree. Now I have no idea what to do, because the oven door is facing the wall.
  9. This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.
  10. I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son's train set that I threw a blanket over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.

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Set One Liners

Which set one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with set? I can suggest the ones about fireplace and assemble.

  1. Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888 So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678
  2. What did the Reddit user say after setting off a bomb in a bank?
  3. What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? 671 Hallmark movies.
  4. Tripped over my friends bra... ..she is always setting booby traps!
  5. I set out to lose 10 pounds this month... Only 15 more to go
  6. I burned my Hawaiian pizza today... I guess i should have put the oven on aloha setting
  7. Donald Trump walks into a bar ......
    and set it lower
  8. Aaron Hernandez set a new NFL record Longest hang time by a player who doesn't punt
  9. What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire? Amazon kindle.
  10. Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space? Because no one on earth wants to buy it.
  11. Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space? Because nobody liked it on earth.
  12. What does Forrest Gump have his email password set as? 1Forrest1
  13. How did the Australian pay for his new chess set? Cheque, mate.
  14. I quietly left my job as a set designer... I didn't want to make a scene.
  15. Bread is a lot like the sun.. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

Set Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny set up jokes and even better set up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Give a man a fire, and he's warm for the night. Set a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.
  • Build a man a fire and you'll keep him warm for a night set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life
  • The thought of one of my friends catching me playing with my train set is so embarrassing. So I covered the set up with bedsheets. Nobody will find out now, my tracks are covered
  • Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away.
  • If you lose your sense of smell due to Covid, here's a simple fix. Just reset to olfactory settings.
  • I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall. I was about to confront them but I managed to calm myself down. That wouldn't be a good example to set in front of my wife and kids.
  • If your workplace requires password changes every 90 days just set it to the name of the current Australian Prime minister and you should be fine.
  • Experts say Donald Trump been setting an outstanding example during the Covid-19 outbreak 28 consecutive press briefings spent washing his hands
  • My friend set me up on a date. He told me she constantly make Shrek references. I was pretty sceptical but then I saw her face
  • Build a man a fire, and he'll stay warm for a day... SET a man on fire, and he'll stay warm for the rest of his life.

Train Set Jokes

Here is a list of funny train set jokes and even better train set puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a group of variables that go to the gym ? A training set.
  • Action films set unrealistic expectations. I just tried to jump onto a moving train but I destroyed my son's Scalextric.
  • What do train sets and b**... have in common? They're intended for children, but it's usually the adults who end up playing with them
  • What do train sets and b**... have in common? They're both meant for children but grown-ups love them.
  • The baby is great. My wife and I just started p**... training. Which I think is important because when we want to p**... train the baby, we should set an example.
  • Who sang at the f**... of those who died in a railroads arson? Adele.
    Some one set fire to the train

Drum Set Jokes

Here is a list of funny drum set jokes and even better drum set puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I like to do the same thing to my girlfriend that I do with my drum set Pretend that I have one
  • Why did the Chicken want to join a rock band??? He was the only one with a set of drum sticks...
  • I broke the drums at the bar where I work, so my boss had to order a new set He told me there would be repercussions
  • the best present you can give anyone is a set of broken drums you can't beat it
  • New drum set I'm thinking of picking up a new drum set. Any advice?
    Don't worry about it. They aren't as heavy as they look.
  • A drum set falls out of a window... Ba dum tssh!
  • You're about as useful as... Anne Frank's drum set.
  • I fell and hit my head on my drum set today... Me: Dad, I think I have a concussion
    Dad: No son, you have a PER-cussion
  • A drum set falls out of a tree. Ba-dum-tis
  • Son: Dad, would you buy me a drum set? Father: No way. It's too loud around here as it is. I can barely fall asleep as it is!
    Son: don't worry, Dad, I will only play it when you are asleep!

Film Set Jokes

Here is a list of funny film set jokes and even better film set puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm making a silent film set in the Middle East It's titled A Kuwait Place
  • I've written a script for a film about an action hero who works in accounts. The sequels going to be set in a different department.
    This time it's personnel.
  • A new set designer was hired at the filming company. He was fired shortly after for making a scene.
  • Did you see the headline about the film director who stormed off set after someone filled his trailer with herbs? Michael Bay Leaves
  • My dog got a new job in Hollywood working on a film set... He's the best boy!
  • Set for First Man movie Did you hear where they filmed the movie First Man?
    On the set of the original landing.
  • I've just been watching an unusual martial arts film set in a semaphorists' hospice It's called The House Of The Dying Flaggers.
  • I heard there was a video leak from the set of a new Michael Bay movie... It's being filmed at some port in China.
  • What do you call a t**... that's been left on a film set? A period piece
  • Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey are to star in a new film, a m**... mystery set at a music festival. It's a Whodunnit.

Swing Set Jokes

Here is a list of funny swing set jokes and even better swing set puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set in her back yard? Neither did she.
  • bleakest Russian joke i know "children! Your father hanged himself for some peace and quiet, not so you could have a swing-set!"
  • A chicken, duck and quail were found dead on a swing set. The police suspect fowl play
  • Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? She didn't know either

Fun-Filled Set Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about set you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean film set jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make set pranks.

A m**... was having an affair with a 15 year old girl who had lied about her age, when he learned the truth he broke it off and over the next few week guilt set in and he confessed to his wife. She screamed at him,

"How could you cheat on me like that with an older woman!?!?!?".

A priest, a lawyer and an engineer are to be guillotined.

The priest puts his head on the block, the rope is pulled but nothing happens. He claims he has been saved by divine intervention and is released.
The lawyer puts his head on the block, but again, nothing happens, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and is set free.
The engineer places his head under the guillotine. He looks up at the release mechanism and says:
'Wait a minute, I see your problem...'

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...

"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.

"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.
"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.
Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.

The traffic jam in Russia.

There is a massive traffic jam somewhere in Russia. A driver sits idling in his car.
Suddenly a man approaches and knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Putin and are asking for a 20 million rubel ransom!
Otherwise, they are going to douse him in gasoline and set him on fire!"
The man continues "We are going from car to car taking up a collection."
The driver asks "Okay, how much is everyone else giving?"
The man replies "Oh, about a gallon or so."

My boss was honest with me today.

He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."

My dad's favorite. (Get the groan ready)

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and...with his odd diet...he suffered from bad breath.
This made him...
...a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

3 blondes are walking in the woods.

3 blonde girls are walking in the woods when they stumble across a set of tracks, the first girl having went to a zoo last week claims that the tracks are deer tracks, the second blonde laughs,
"Caitlyn you dumb b**... those are bear tracks!"
The third blonde chimes in,
"Oh my god no you're both wrong those are rabbit tracks."
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. "Guess I'm swimming then."

Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.

The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.

Two blondes were taking a walk through a bush when they came across a set of tracks.

'I'm sure they're bear tracks!', said the first blonde.
'No, they're deer tracks', said the second blonde, confidently.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

My manly password

My wife and I were trying to set up a new password for our computer.
Trying to be clever, I put "Mypenis" and my wife fell to the ground laughing hysterically because on the screen it said:
**"Error. Not long enough."**

Accidentally called 911

Set my house on fire to not look s**....

So to celebrate the Halloween season...

... I was going to go to a 200 year old building that was apparently set up with shriveled up old corpses, dangerous bandits, bloodsucking vampires, hellbent soulless demons, and the like. But it turns out the Capitol Building is closed for tours until a budget resolution is reached.

As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like...

As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire.

What do you get when 32 r**... enter the same room?

A full set of teeth.

My dad said he was going to set me up for life. Of course, I was excited by the idea.

Until he blamed me for the m**... he committed.

A man joins a ship's crew as a cook

A man finds himself as the cook on a ship that has just set off on a voyage. He does a quick survey of the kitchen. Everything seems good except in the pantry he finds several bags of potatoes that are all shaped like p**.... "That's weird," he thinks as he goes and finds the captain.
"Hey, captain, what's with all the potatoes looking like p**.... I don't like it," he says.
The captain replies, "Well you can't change it. This is a dictatorship."

What do you get when you put 20 m**... Heads in 1 room?

A full set of teeth

During the French Revolution a doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer were facing execution on the guillotine.

The doctor was first, but the blade jammed and the doctor was set free due to Divine Intervention.
The lawyer was next, again the blade jammed, and was also set free.
As the engineer was being led to his doom, he glanced up at the blade and said Wait a minute! I think I see the problem…

Dramatic Arts

Little Charlie has had his dreams set on becoming an actor, and, finally, he lands a part in the school play. He runs home after school to tell his dad. "That's fantastic!" his father replies. "Who do you play?" he asks. "Dad, I play a guy who's been married for twenty years!" His dad plants a hand on Charlie's shoulder, smiling sweetly, and says, "Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."

Dr. Watson was again impressed by Sherlock Holmes' diverse set of skills, as Watson asked inquisitively as to what tree Sherlock was planting...

To which Sherlock replied, Why, that's a lemon tree, my dear Watson.

A Mathematician is given a psychological test.

The first question asked "You see a burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" After much deliberation, the Mathematician decides he would attach the hose to the hydrant. He is then asked "You see a non-burning house and a hose disconnected from a fire hydrant. What do you do?" to which the Mathematician immediately responds, "I'll set the house of fire to reduce this to a problem I've already solved."

A young man helps his grandfather with his computer issues

His grandfather seems to be unable to set a password.
Trying to figure out the problem the young man looks at the password the old man is trying to set
His password is ParisLondonMickeyMouse
Puzzled by this, the man asks his grandfather why he wants to set this password anyways.
The grandfather simply replies: It wanted two capitals and a character .

I set up a Facebook page for Chinese n**...

It has 3 reichs

Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day

Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo...

To help him, he hired a Native American scout.
The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo.
After riding awhile, the scout gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Hmmm, buffalo come."
The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing.
He is confused and says to the scout, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?"
The scout replies, "Ear sticky".

Meatloaf passed on today.

His f**... is set at 350 for about an hour.

A few weeks ago I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online.

They arrived today, safe and sound.

My mate set me up on a blind date.

He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby."
I felt like a right idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a n**...!

I was browsing Craigslist the other day, when I came across someone who wanted to learn how to make macaroni.

Being a master macaroni maker myself, I responded to his offer, and we set up a time and place to meet so I could teach him. When we met up, he took one look at me, and he told me that I didn't look like someone who could even make halfway decent macaroni. "Sir", I assured him, "I promise I'm a master of my Kraft."

God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle...

...but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.

So I set up an internet page for Chinese n**......

So far it's gotten three Reichs on Facebook

A priest, a fisherman, and an engineer were sentenced to death by guillotine.

The executioner told the priest he could say/do one more thing before he was executed. So the priest prays to God to spare his life. So as the priest was being executed, the guillotine got stuck. Now according to the law, if the guillotine fails to kill the person, they are set free.So, the priest was let go.
Next up was the fisherman. Seeing what had happened with the priest, he also prayed to God to have his life spared. Once again, the guillotine failed, and the fisherman was let go.
Finally came the engineer. He spends his last moments looking at the guillotine. Oh, I see the problem...

I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics.

He told me I used the wrong stereo type.

As a programmer, I may not be able to set up a parade...

But I can make an array of floats...

A man lost at sea is found on an island 20 years later.

The sailors that find him are surprised to see three large buildings on the island. They ask the man why he built the buildings. "This first building is my house" he says. "I was able to set up a crude aqueduct to create some form of indoor plumbing". The sailors are impressed and ask about the second building. "This second building is my church" he says "I am a Christian and my faith is very important to me". The sailors nod in understanding and ask about the third building. "Oh, that one" the man says. "That's the church I USED to go to".

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.
That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."
"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.
"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."

BREAKING: The Internet has been permanently shutdown in Russia, Kremlin announced today, adding that a new network open only to Russians is set to go online within the week

Sources close to the Kremlin says Putin himself took to naming the network, proudly dubbing it as 'The Internyet'

Three Blondes

Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Hey guys, look at the bear tracks." The second blonde said, "Are you s**...? Those are wolf tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong! Those are fox tracks!" They were all still arguing when the train hit them.

Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day

Set a man on fire and he'll stop bothering you.

Gandhi...

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

On her deathbed my wife said, "Sweety, I will see you in Heaven."

Since then I have kicked a puppy, stole from 4 shops and set fire to an orphanage.!

A friend set me up on a blind date. He said "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby"

I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.

A Doctor gives his patient the bad news that he only has a week to live...

Patient - "No, I don't accept that! I'd like an alternative fact please"
Doctor - "Money-wise, you are now set for life"

I just tried to set up an account on the Weight Watchers website.

Asked me "will you accept cookies?", the p**...-taking b**....

An accused criminal is brought before a judge...

The judge says, "You stand accused of stealing five million dollars' worth of gold bars. How do you plead?"
"Not guilty, your honour."
"Bail is set at five million dollars." The judge slams his gavel down.
"Do you accept payment in gold?"

Struggles of passwords

Struggles of passwords
"Set password:"
carrot
"Password must be at least 8 characters."
boiled carrot
"Password must contain at least 1 number."
1 boiled carrot
"Password cannot contain spaces."
50boiledcarrots
"Password must contain at least 1 capital."
50FUCKINGBoiledcarrots
"Password cannot contain multiple consecutive capitals."
50FuckingBoiledCarrots
"Password cannot contain swear words"
IfYouDoNotAcceptThisPasswordThenYouCanStickThose50BoiledCarrotsUpYourButt
"This password is already in use."

A husband was in big trouble...

A husband was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat."
The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
f**... arrangements for the husband have been set for Saturday.

I've set up a company to rid people of vampires.

I'm the main stakeholder.

Science and Religion have to coexist because science can make a bomb,

But you do need a religious person to set it off.

Your beauty cannot be contained by the set of all real numbers.

That's because it's imaginary.

Frank and Harry are at their golf club...

As Frank gets set to take his swing, a f**... procession goes by. He steps back, takes his hat off and holds it over his heart. Harry walks over, puts his hand on Frank's shoulder and says "That was a thoughtful thing to do". To which Frank replies "It was the least I could do, we were married for 30 years."

Cigarettes are just like weasels...

Both are completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and set them on fire.

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar during the town's annual Halloween celebration. "I'd sure like to try out that giant corn maze they set up, but I'm afraid I'd get lost and kill half the day in there," the guy tells the bartender. "There is actually a guide you can hire that will take you through the entire labyrinth in just 60 seconds," the bartender reassures him. "It's a minute tour."

jokes about set