Serve Jokes
134 serve jokes and hilarious serve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about serve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Learn how to bring the laughter to any situation with these clever serve jokes. Whether your audience is into soft serve, tennis serve or any other type of service, these quips are sure to make them laugh. Discover how to make your own jokes about servin, cater and valet, too.
Quick Jump To
- Short Serve Jokes
- Serve One Liners
- Bartenders Serve Jokes
- Tennis Serve Jokes
- Soft Serve Jokes
- More Serve Jokes
Funniest Serve Short Jokes
Short serve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The serve humour may include short service jokes also.
- A weasel walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
- Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that has ever served me. With just the tip.
- Justice is a dish best served cold because... ...if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
- bill Clinton tried to cheer up Hillary this morning. He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
- A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".
- A person with an art degree walks into a bar. They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.
- I hope they serve cookies at the Royal Wedding this weekend Just to show how a touch of brown sugar makes a ginger snap.
- ...and the bartender said: we don't serve hypothetical faster-than-light particles here! A tachyon walks into a bar...
- Yttrium-barium-copper oxide walks into a bar The bartender tells him, "We don't serve superconductors here."
He leaves without resistance. - A hamburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says,"Sorry, we don't serve food here."
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Serve One Liners
Which serve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with serve? I can suggest the ones about assist and suite.
- The bartender said we don't serve time travellers. Two men walk into a bar.
- I asked a chef if he ever served a steak raw.. He said yeah but it's rare.
- If 6ix9ine serves his 47 years... he'll be the first mumble rapper to finish a sentence
- A hamburger walks into a bar.. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here."
- A tennis ball walks into a restaurant.... a waiter asks: "Have you been served?"
- What do you call something you can serve but can't eat? A volleyball.
- The barman said "we don't serve time travelers here" I walk into a bar.
- A burger walks into a bar... The bartender says "sorry we don't serve food"
- My Local Pizza Place Just Folded Now they serve Calzones.
- What does Miley Cyrus serve on Thanksgiving? Twerky.
- What do nuclear plants serve their workers for lunch? Fission Chips
- Two cows walk into a vegan bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
- My friend has hired a Butler without a left arm. Serves him right.
- Justice is a dish best served cold If it were served warm it would be justwater.
- What is the only meal served in nuclear power stations? Fission chips.
Bartenders Serve Jokes
Here is a list of funny bartenders serve jokes and even better bartenders serve puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, Get out! We don't serve your kind here. The superconductor left without resistance.
- C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar... The bartender shows them the door and says,
Sorry, we don't serve minors. - Time traveller walks into a bar Bartender says, we don't serve time travellers here.
Time traveller responds, since when? - The bartender says: "I'm sorry, but we don't serve FTL particles." A tachyon walks into a bar.
- C, E flat and G walk into a bar. They ask the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, Sorry we don't serve minors here . E flat walks out while C and G have a fifth between the two of them.
- Two bacteria walk into a bar Two bacteria walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve bacteria here."
And the bacteria says,
*"But we work here. We're staph."* - A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar... The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."
- Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast"
- So a sandwich walks into a bar He sits down and asks the bartender for a beer, the bartender says Sorry we don't serve food here .
- A C++ error walks into a bar... A C++ error walks into a bar. The bartender looks up at it and says "I'm sorry, but we don't serve bugs here". The error replies "But I'm an EXCEPTION!"
Haaaaaaaaaa!
Tennis Serve Jokes
Here is a list of funny tennis serve jokes and even better tennis serve puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food. On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.
- I went to a busy bar last night dressed as a tennis ball I got served straight away.
- Maria Sharipova has been banned from tennis for 2 years There's a sign at every court with her mugshot that says "do not serve this woman".
- My local tennis club doesn't allow courts to be pre-booked. It works on a first come, first serve basis.
- What can you serve but not eat? A tennis ball.
- A tennis ball walked into a bar It was served right away
- I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tennis ball. I got served straight away.
- I'm surprised there are not a lot of Jewish tennis players. After all, Moses served in Pharaoh's court.
- My tennis opponent was not happy with my serve. He kept returning it.
- What can be served but not eaten? A tennis ball.
Soft Serve Jokes
Here is a list of funny soft serve jokes and even better soft serve puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Which state serves the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota.
- I was playing tennis and eating an ice cream cone, I'm glad it was soft serve.
- What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine? They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.
Comical Serve Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about serve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean provide jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make serve pranks.
Jason Todd walks into a bar, where the Joker is behind the counter. He says "Jason, you know I can't serve Robins here"
Jason asks "Why?" and Joker replies "this is a CROW bar!"
Then he beats him to death.
Two eggs and a piece of bacon walk into a bar
The bartender asks them to leave. They all ask why. Bartender says, "We don't serve breakfast here."
A man walks into the bakers...
A man walks into the bakers with a salmon under his arm. He asks the woman behind the counter "Excuse me, do you serve fish cakes?"
The woman replies, "Of course we don't!"
The man points to the fish and shouts - "Well what am I supposed to do?! Its his birthday!"
No Strings
Two strings wanted to go into a bar. The bar had a sign up "We do not serve strings" One of them said to the other I've got an idea. He slammed into the wall, scooted and twisted himself around on the ground and then began tearing at his ends. He walked into the bar and the bartender said "Hey aren't you a string?" He looked at the bartender and said "I'm a frayed knot"
a C, Eb, and a G walk into a bar...
The bartender says "sorry we don't serve minors here," so the Eb walks out and the C and the G have a fifth between them.
String
A piece of string walks into a bar and takes a seat.
The bartender says to the piece of string "We don't serve your kind around here!" and kicks the string out of the bar.
The string gathers his composure, messes his hair up, and ties himself in a knot. He then resumes his seat at the bar.
The bartender says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string I just kicked out?"
The string replies "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
A deaf guy walks into a bar...
A deaf guy walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
Deaf guy says, "I'll have a beer."
Helium walks into a bar
The bartender says "we don't serve noble gases here, get out!"
He doesn't react.
Two eggs and a s**... of bacon walk into a bar
The bartender looks at them and says, "Sorry - we don't serve breakfast here."
A rope walked into a bar...
A rope walked into a bar. The bartender said, "We don't serve your kind here! No ropes allowed!" The rope left, tied his top end, and fluffed out the fringe. He reentered the bar, and the bartender said, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just threw out?" "No," the rope said. "I'm a frayed knot."
A Ham Sandwich Walks Into A Bar ...
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender yells out, "Hey! We don't serve ham sandwiches here." To which the ham sandwich replies, "That's okay, I just wanted a drink."
A rope walks into a bar...
And orders and drink. The bartender says," We don't serve ropes here." So the rope goes outside, frays his ends, and ties himself into a knot. He comes back in and once again orders a drink. The bartender says,"Aren't you that rope I just turned down?" To which the rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
A piece of string walks into a bar
A piece of string walks into a bar and walks up to the counter.
The bartender says, "Sorry mate, we don't serve pieces of string in here, get lost."
Upset, the piece of string walks out the door. A sudden thought strikes him. He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up.
He walks back into the bar and approaches the counter. The bartender says, "Oi, aren't you that piece of string from before...?"
"No," says the piece of string, "I'm a frayed knot."
He has a point...
Judge: "Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?"
Juror: "I don't want to be away from my job that long."
Judge: "Can't they do without you at work?"
Juror: "Yes, but I don't want them to know it."
So this piece of rope walks into a bar...
...and he tries to order a drink, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind roun' here!" The piece of rope walks outside, ties himself in half a couple times, rubs himself in the dirt and drags his edges. He walks back into the bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey! Ain't you that same piece of rope?!" The piece of rope says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot!"
A piece of rope walks into a bar...
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve rope here"
Rope walks outside, frizzes up his hair, and ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar.
Bartender says "Hey, aren't you the same piece of rope that I just kicked out of here?"
Rope says "No, I'm a frayed knot"
A bear goes into a bar
he sits down and immediately mauls to death and devours the woman on the stool next to him.
he then calmly orders a beer
bartender: "sorry, we don't serve drug users in here"
bear: "but I don't do drugs"
bartender: "what about that barbitchyouate"
Argon walks into a bar
The bartender looks up and says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."
Argon doesn't react because reacting has been copyrighted by The Fine Bros since 2016.
A piece of rope walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind around here." The rope walks out back, ties himself up, and unravels his ends. The rope walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "Aren't you that rope that was just in here a minute ago?" The rope says, "Nope. I'm a frayed knot."
What's the best way to serve Turkey?
Join the Turkish Army.
A rope walks into a bar...
The bartender says, "get out, we don't serve ropes here." So the rope leaves, loosens up its end bits, and ties its self up. The rope then walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "aren't you the same rope I just told to get out of here?" And the rope says, "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy
A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy.
"ephedrine?"
"I can't serve you that"
"sudoephedrine"
"There you go".
A rope walks into a bar ...
A rope walks into a bar, sits down, orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, we don't serve your kind here."
Dejected, the rope leaves. Outside he ties himself into a knot, frays his ends, and walks back into the bar. The bartender stops him and says, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just sent out of here?"
To which the rope replies, "No. I'm a frayed knot."
A mathematician walks into a bar
A mathematician walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer.
The bartender says, "Sorry but we've run out of beer. We have only root beer for today."
"No problem", replies the mathematician. "Just serve me in a square glass."
A piece of string walks into a bar...
and tries to order a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve pieces of string here"
The string goes back outside, ties himself up, and messes up his hair.
The string goes back into the bar and orders again.
The bartender asks, "Aren't you that piece of string?"
"No," says the string, "I'm a frayed knot"
A sandwich walks into a bar...
The barman says "sorry, we don't serve food here."
A piece of string walks into a bar...
And asks for a Beer.
The barman says: "I'm sorry we don't serve pieces of string".
So the piece of string walks outside, ruffles himself up, walks back into the bar and says: "Can I have a Beer please".
The barman replies: "Aren't you that piece of string I just asked to leave".
To which the piece of string replies: "No, I'm a frayed knot".
Jesus walks into a bar
The barman looks up and asks "We don't serve wine here"
Jesus looks at him quizzically and goes to look for a Spanish translator because he had just immigrated from Mexico and English was not his first language.
A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar
The bartender says "I'll serve you, but you better not start anything"
A bartender says "Hey! We don't serve faster-than-light particles here!"
A tachyon flies into a bar.
Two chemists walk into a bar...
The first says the the bartender,
"I'll have some H2O,"
After which the second says
"I'll have some H2O too."
And they both enjoy their water, and get home safely to their families, because the bartender is a nice, reasonable man who would never serve Hydrogen Peroxide to a customer.
A Nazgûl walks into a bar...
The barman says: 'I'm sorry, we don't serve your kind in here.'
The Nazgûl replies: 'That's Wraithist.'
A black man walks into an all white bar and orders a drink.
They tell him "we don't serve n**... here"
And he replies with "Good, I wasn't planning to order any."
There is one thing that United got right: their food is just great.
I hear they even serve a Chinese take-out now.
An underage weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. I can't serve underage weasels."
The weasel says, "That's fine. I don't need something alcoholic. What else do you have?"
The bartender says "Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
In Alabama, when served rolls, they never serve the butter on the side.
Because they like it inbread.
The barman says, We don't serve time travelers in here.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator
He asks, _"Do you serve lawyers here?"_
The bartender says, _"Yes, of course we do!"_
The man says, _"OK, I'll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator."_
Remember…you are not completely useless.
You can always serve as a bad example.
A Chinese man walks into a bar.
He goes up to the bartender and asks for a pint of Guinness.
The barman says "No I'm sorry buddy, I can't serve you."
"Why is it because I'm Chinese?!!" he says.
The barman says, "No, you're too young."
The Chinese man looks baffled...
"How do you know my name?"
The waiter says: Sorry, we don't serve particles faster than light.
A superluminal particle walks into a bar.
A piece of string walks into a bar
The bar tender says sorry we don't serve you kind round here
The string leaves, twists himself up, parts his hair and walks back into the bar,
The bartender says sorry aren't you the same guy from before
The string replies I'm a frayed knot
David Hasselhoff walked into a bar
and ordered a drink.
Its a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, the actor replied.
Sure, the bartender said, no hassle.
Helium walks into a bar. The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gases."
He doesn't react.
A bartender said "Sorry, we don't serve time travellers".
Two time travellers walk into a bar
A man walks into a seafood restaurant carrying a fish under his arm
He approaches the owner of the restaurant and says, Does your restaurant serve fish cakes?
The owner responds, Yes, of course!
And the man with the fish says, Good, because it's his birthday.
David Hasselhoff walks into a bar and orders a drink.
It's a pleasure to serve you, Mr Hasselhoff, says the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, he replied.
Sure, said the bartender, No hassle.
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?
God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?
David Hasselhoff walks into a bar..
It's a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Hasselhoff , said the bartender.
Just call me Hoff, if it's not too much trouble , he replied.
Sure , said the bartender, no hassle .
A black man walks into a restaurant..
There is a huge sign on wall that says "Colored People Not Allowed."
The man takes a seat and a white man comes over in a hurry and says, " Excuse me son, we don't serve colored people in this restaurant. Im going to have to ask you to leave."
The black man smiles, looks at the white man and says, "Sir, when I was born I was black, when I am sick I'm black, when I'm cold I'm black, when I'm angry I'm black and when I sad I'm black.
But you, sir, when you're born you're pink, when you're sick you are green, when you're cold you turn blue and when you're angry you turn red.
And you have the nerve to call me colored!"
Just went to a BBQ place..
Me: I'll have 6 ribs please
Waiter: We only serve those in quantities of 3, 5, 7, or 13.
Turns out it was prime rib.
Teach a man a joke and he will laugh for a day
Teach a redditor a joke and they will repost it for a lifetime!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
Its cake and y'all know the rules!
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer.
The bar man says, "sorry, we don't serve food".
The Story of Creation as told by Dog
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
A string walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve strings in here."
So the string goes outside, tangles itself up, mashes itself up a bit, and walks back into the bar. The bartender says, "Aren't you the string that was just in here?"
"No. I'm a frayed knot."
h**... used an astrologist to give him guidance in battle...
One day he told the man, "you've served me well. We are winning battles and the war and I'm very pleased with your work. Your ability to predict the future is amazing. But there's one thing I wondered about and wanted to ask you."
How can I serve you mein Fuhrer?
"Do you know what day I'm going to die?"
Of course.
"Well, what day am I going to die?"
Sir, you are going to die on a Jewish holiday.
"Mein gott! That's terrible. What Jewish holiday am I going to die on?"
Any day you die is going to be a Jewish holiday.
A Zebra walks into a pub and asks for a beer.
A Zebra walks into a pub and asks for a beer.
The bartender says "Sorry I can't serve you"
The Zebra asks "Why not?"
"Because you're barred" replies the bartender.
I just thought this up but I doubt I'm the first. Sorry if it is lame.
A sandwich walks into a bar…
The bartender says, with a sneer on his face, We don't serve food here
Me as a server in a restaurant: "Do you wanna box for the rest of this food?"
Guest says yes, so I start to put on my gloves
What do American police have in common with American Congress?
They only serve and protect corporate interests.
A disheveled man is busking on the side of the street in London with a sign that says Falklands War Veteran
A well-dressed man notices this and feels bad, having himself been a veteran of the British Army. He pities the busker and tells him, It must be a pity to serve your country and then come home to this. I served in the army, in fact, so I know what it's like. Maybe this will help you out. He then gives the man a rather large stack of cash.
The busker is overjoyed, and as the well-dressed man walks away, he tells him, ¡Muchas gracias, señor!
Three pieces of string walk into a bar.
String 1 asks for a drink for himself and one for each of his friends.
The barman says, 'We don't serve pieces of string here.'
So, string 1 goes back to his friends and says, 'They don't serve strings here'.
Then string 2 tries but gets the same result.
So string 3 gets up, ties himself around the middle, and he pulls his ends out. And he proceeds to order drinks.
The barman says, 'here, aren't you one of those pieces of string?'
And the piece of string, he says, 'No, 'I'm a frayed knot.'
From ***Neverwhere*** by Neil Gaiman
(True joke) In 1960, after winning his olympic gold medal, Muhammad Ali went to eat at a fancy downtown resteraunt.
When the waiter came over Ali asked for a cheeseburger.
Shocked to see a black man sitting in the resteraunt, the waiter announced "We don't serve n**...".
Ali: "Well I don't eat them either, just give me my d**... cheeseburger".
