Servant Jokes
70 servant jokes and hilarious servant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about servant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? This article brings together the best jokes about servant leadership, civil servant roles, the master-servant relationship, the Queen, Jeeves and the Valet. Read on for a collection of the funniest jokes about servants!
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Funniest Servant Short Jokes
Short servant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The servant humour may include short preacher jokes also.
- Britain has invented a new missile It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
- Mr. Trump told his servant to water the plant outside the house The servant said, "But sir, it's raining outside"
Mr. Trump replied, "Can't you use the umbrella?" - A man told his servant, "Call me a taxi, Larry" The servant replied, "Sure sir, You're a taxi."
- An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a 100 dollar bill. Who gets to keep it?
Santa does, the other two are creatures of myth and legend. - I tried searching the internet for a medieval servant boy... but I kept getting the same error.
Page not found! - Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants. Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go. - I am a waiter in need of false teeth. Do I need to look for a new job? I don't think indentured servants are legal any more.
- Brute tries to kill Caesar. But Caesar's not home. They ask the servant, "Where is Caesar?"
"He's just Roman" - Did you hear bout that mafia goon who crossdressed as a female servant? He was a maid man.
- One should always have a servant's heart. Because servants are statistically far less likely to suffer from cardiac arrest.
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Servant One Liners
Which servant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with servant? I can suggest the ones about savior and shepherd.
- If you Google "lost mediaeval servant boy" You get "This page cannot be found".
- Servant: Sire Sire! The peasants are revolting! King: Yes, Aren't they
- What do you call a butler with false teeth? An indentured servant.
- I got a guy who makes false teeth for me. He's an indentured servant.
- What do you call a sad servant of God? Depriest
- If Jason Bateman had a servant... Would his servant call him Master Bateman?
- Hey, God, how do you like your steak cooked? "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
- Why were the dolphin emporer's servants so important? They served a porpoise.
- What do you call a male servant? A maid man
- What do you call an elderly person who volunteers their time? A dentured servant
- What do you call a dentist who works for free? An indentured servant.
- Who brings the ant queen her food every day? Her servant.
- What kind of servants has power over the people they serve? A public one..
- Money is a good servant... ... but a bad master.
- Why did the servant of the Airplane King get executed? He was not Boeing.
Civil Servant Jokes
Here is a list of funny civil servant jokes and even better civil servant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the math club's failed attempt to overthrow the government by gradually filling in vacant civil servant jobs with their members? It was a pseudo-coup.
- A mugger attacks a man in an alley, and demands all his money. The man cries, "I'm a civil servant; I don't *have* any money!"
The mugger sneers, "Alright. Then give me all of *my* money." - How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
Indentured Servant Jokes
Here is a list of funny indentured servant jokes and even better indentured servant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call an indentured servant hired specifically to cut meat for you? A *Filet Minion*.
Master Servant Jokes
Here is a list of funny master servant jokes and even better master servant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A very rich landlord lives in a mansion... He has lots of servants in the mansion. Usually, everyone calls him Edward. Edward Bates. But his servants call him Master Bates.
- Why doesn't Jason Bateman have a servant? Because they always refer to him as "Master Bateman"
Servant Leadership Jokes
Here is a list of funny servant leadership jokes and even better servant leadership puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The fastest, most effective way to learn about servant leadership is to take a puppy for a walk.
Howlingly Hilarious Servant Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about servant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean apprentice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make servant pranks.
A waiter is working and sees Jesus come in
Waiter: Hello sir, welcome to our restaurant! What can I get for you?
Jesus: Hello Matthew. Today I would like a steak please.
Waiter: How did you... oh right, you're Jesus! Duh. Anyways, how would you like that?
Jesus: Well done, good and faithful servant
A Glasgow girl goes to the Civic Center to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the civil servant?
"10" replies the girl.
"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"
"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec
"Doesn't that get confusing?" "
Naw..." says the girl "its great because if thur oot playin in the street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC, GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it..."
"What if you want to speak to one individually?" says the perturbed civil servant.
"'at's easy," says the girl... "Ah just use thur surnames"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman gets on a bus.
A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: "Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers."
"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind."
"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Appointment in Samarra.
A merchant in Baghdad sends his servant to the marketplace for provisions. Shortly, the servant comes home white and trembling and tells him that in the marketplace he was jostled by a woman, whom he recognized as Death, and she made a threatening gesture. Borrowing the merchant's horse, he flees at top speed to Samarra, a distance of about 75 miles (125 km), where he believes Death will not find him. The merchant then goes to the marketplace and finds Death, and asks why she made the threatening gesture. She replies, "That was not a threatening gesture, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the dolphin king say at the f**... of his faithful servant?
You have served your porpoise.
A king is picking the music to be played at his party
A king is throwing an extravagant party, and wants the perfect music to go along, but he can't decide who to have perform. So, he asks his most highly esteemed servant for advice.
"I am looking for a new unique style of music to be played at the party," says the king.
"Well, how about Johann Bach?" suggests the servant.
"He's great and everything," says the king, "But I want something new and unique"
The servant says, "Well what about oldest son, William Bach? He has mastered the art of classical music"
At this point the King is getting irritated. "No, no, no. I want something fresh and new and refreshing to hear. We've all heard of classical music"
"I know just the person you're looking for!" says the servant. "His youngest son David Bach has a style unlike that of his brothers and father. How does that sound?"
The king, furious at his servants similar suggestions, screams, "What's wrong with you? Can't you think outside the Bachs?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the cuckold s**... owner?
His man servant is his baby daddy.
Today someone told me this joke about the stereotype that we Swabians are stingy
A Swabian goes to the registry office and asks how he can change his name.
The civil servant asks him, why he needs the name change.
The Swabian answers: "I found a box full of business cards in the street yesterday."
(long) All the knights in the Kingdom we're leaving for the Crusade.
One knight told his trusty servant,
"My bride is the most beautiful woman in the country. If I die, I do not want such beauty to be wasted. So I'm leaving you the key to her chastity belt to be used if I do not return from my journey."
The knights had only gone a short distance when they heard a horse charging up behind them.
Thinking it might be an important message, the men halted.
The horseman who approached was the Knight's servant.
"hey" he said.
"You gave me the wrong key!"
A teacher instructed a second-grade student to give a sentence about a public servant
"The fireman came down the ladder pregnant", he answered.
"Umm... Do you know what pregnant means?"
"Yes", said the boy. "It means carrying a child."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The queen of England f**... and quickly looked for someone else to blame.
"Bidwell!" she shouted to a servant, "stop that this instant!"
"Of course, your majesty," he replied. "Which way did it go?"
A rich Brit comes home from a long day of work...
He says to his most trusted servant: "I had such a long day, I'd love to have some proper tea."
The servant leaves the room and comes back 30 minutes later. "What took you so long?" says the rich Brit angrily.
"I bought you a new 4 bedroomed house. I hope it's ok."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the proper term for the Mayor of a nudist colony?
A p**... Servant
Final Memories
Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?"
Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Eugene commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives."
Al said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The rich lady comes home after a day of shopping,
when she stumbles on one of her many servants in the hallway. She looks at him head to toe, and demands:
\- Come here.
The servant, heads down, obeys.
\- Take off my jacket.
Hands shaking, he obliges.
\- Now... Take off my dress.
Slowly, he does so.
\- Hm... Now take off my socks and my garter belt.
He does so, not saying a word.
\- Now... My bra and my p**...!
Looking down and shaking, he obeys.
\- Now, if I get you wearing my clothes ever again, I will fire you once and for all, do you understand?!
Two Americans were trekking in a desert.
Dehydrated and hungry, they walked into a mosque.
The Imam asked for their names.
Mark thought: Maybe it's wiser to pretend to be a Muslim. So he replied: My name is Ahmed.
Sam said: My name is Sam.
The Imam called his servant over, who handed Sam some food and water.
He then turned to Mark and said: Happy Ramadan, brother Ahmed.
Travelling through the deepest darkest jungles of Africa with my man servant Jeeves ....
We broke through the dense undergrowth into a small clearing. There were eggs everywhere. I turned to Jeeves and said "This is obviously the work of poachers"
A prince was talking to his servant
Prince: We both look alike, did your mother work her before? Haha
Servant: No, but my father did.
What's the difference between a palace servant and Prince Philip?
The queen doesn't mind whether or not Prince Philip uses the tradesman's entrance.
A wealthy woman had lost her right hand and left foot in a car accident.
Her doctor told her that he would have her new prosthetics ready the next day. She sent her servant to go pick them up from the hospital. The servant was a couple hours early. The servant waited on her hand and foot.
When your in your casket............?
Three friends from the local congregation were asked,
"When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you,
what would you like them to say?"
Artie said, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine
spiritual leader, and a great family man."
Merle commented, "I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God,
who made a huge difference in peoples lives."
Don said, "I'd like them to say, 'Look! He's moving!'"
English lord to his servant: James a glass of water please. Here you are sir. Thank you James. Another glass of water please. Sure sir, here you are. Thank you, James.
James, please call the firemen, I don't think we can put out this fire on our own.
General Frederick D. Grant said to his servant one morning
"James, I have left my mess boots out. I want them soled."
"Yes, sir, the servant answered."
The general dressed for dinner that night, said again: "I suppose, James, that you did as I told you about those boots."
"Yes, sir, said he, and this is all I could get for them, though the corporal who bought them said he would have given half a dollar if pay day hadn't been so far off."
