Seriously Bad Jokes
24 seriously bad jokes and hilarious seriously bad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seriously bad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Seriously Bad Short Jokes
Short seriously bad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seriously bad humour may include short pretty bad jokes also.
- I lost my left headphone on Friday night At first I was upset, but now it's all right…
No but seriously, that's why I came up with this bad joke. - I hate when i have too use the toilet really bad and i have to use the public toilets. Like i don't want a reminder that i seriously need to clean my house.
- You seriously don't want hear my next Fibonacci joke. It's as bad as the previous two combined.
- 'Weeds' is a gateway show... ...watching it can lead to binging on more serious programs like 'Breaking Bad'.
- Seriously bad cabbage joke What do you call two long lines of cabbage?
A dual cabbage way - s**... gone wrong [CORNY] -Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers.
-Seriously? And what happened?
-After the first two, I felt much better. - I have some serious pain after spending way too much time on my knees while younger Doing construction work and laying flooring.
Installing carpeting is almost as bad as s**... d**...
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Seriously Bad One Liners
Which seriously bad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seriously bad? I can suggest the ones about extremely bad and real bad.
- Why do all lefties have bad handwriting? Seriously though
Laughable Seriously Bad Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about seriously bad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean horribly bad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make seriously bad pranks.
A man goes to see the doctor about a serious cough…
The doctor examines him, runs some tests, and leaves the room. A few minutes later, the doctor returns.
I've got some bad news for you, the doctor says. You don't have much longer to live.
Oh my god, the man replies. How much time do I have?
The doctor says, Ten.
What do you mean, 'Ten'? the man asks. Ten months? Ten weeks? Ten days?
The doctor looks at his watch and says, Nine.
For my cake day, a joke...
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
I tried training for the Samaritans once.
But they told me I wasn't good at listening and I said "what?" and they said I wasn't good at listening.
-- This joke was made by a friend on facebook in the UK who currently has a really really bad time - homeless and suicidal. I found the joke really funny. Would be really nice if I could show him that he is actually a pretty funny lad and has reasons to continue living. (I'm 100% serious!!)
After a long and serious operation, Edna ended up in a coma.
Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it. When her husband Ralph came into the intensive care unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news, "We just can't wake her. It doesn't look good, I'm afraid."
The doctor told Ralph in a quiet somber voice. Ralph looked at Edna and with a soft trembling voice said, "But doctor, she's so young she's only 48."
"37," came the weak reply from Edna.
A kid is flunking a public school, so his parents move him to a private school
All the sudden inthe private school his grades skyrocket up to A's. Then one night at the dinner table his parents ask,
"Why were you doing so bad in a
public school, and when we switched you to a
private school you did good?" The kid says,
"because I knew they were serious about school.
The first day I walked in they had a guy nailed
to a plus sign."
A man has serious a Gas Problem.
Then he came to visit a doctor, saying he has a serious problem, but every time he farts there is no noise and Smell.
Then added " i have f**... 20 times while talking to you"
Then doctor prescribed some medicine and said to visit him after 2 weeks.
After 2 weeks, he came to visit the doctor, saying that the medicine solved one problem. Everytime he farts, it has a serious bad smell, but still no noise. Your medicine didn't work
Then the doctor said, " medicine did worked it solved your nose problem, now i am prescribing new medicine for your hearing problem"
A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up.
He did the tests and waited.
After a while, the doctor came in with the results.
"Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.."
"Doctor..! How much time do I have..?"
"Ten..."
"Ten what? Months? Years? What?!"
"Nine...Eight...Seven..."
I believe that marathons are bad. They are an excess; a p**... of healthy running. Running anything more than a few miles puts serious wear and tear on the joints without any benefit. Runners should be limited to no more than a 5k at the most, and marathons should be banned.
… and don't tell me that I'm just being racist.
Tell a joke that is well-known in your country
Even jokes that are poorly translated are normally funny because they're so bad.
An example of a well-known British joke is:
'Knock knock'.
'Who's there?'
'Doctor'
'Doctor Who?'
'You just said it'.
It has to be one that if you asked 100 random people in your country most would know it.
*SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE*
Bad boss
My friend Monica confided in me today:
My boss is a horrible man. He says awful things to me.
If he does not take back his words,
seriously, I will pack my s**... and I will get the h**... out from there.
So I asked: What did he tell you?
She answer:
He told me that I have to pack my s**... and get the h**... out from there.
Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)
Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.
Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"
Big Catholic news, the Pope recently stated that it is possible for atheists to go to Heaven. However, what he didn't say is once they get there, they have to spend all eternity helping Buddha squeeze into his yoga pants.
In entertainment, "Fast and Furious 6" critics say the film did not live up to the hype. Especially when the first 45 minutes of the film were Vin Diesel sitting in his Dodge Neon scanning Tokyo radio for a Limp Bizkit station.
Bad news, a m**... tax bill stalled in Colorado. Glossy-eyed congressmen promise they'll finish the bill as soon as this rad 'Stairway' solo is over.
In a recent speech, Biden hinted that government research is often wasteful. Such as Biden's $3 million study on if he saw Bigfoot getting the paper yesterday or just Sarah Palin before her morning shave.
And finally some science news. A recent marine study found that fish can use sign language. However, what was more surprising was the terrifying gang signs used by the east L.A. river fish crew, "Gills that Kills".
Thanks for reading! Been pretty busy lately so I'm making sure I produce some material for you guys to check out.
I know book burning is bad, but every day I get the greatest satisfaction from slowly burning my Bible page by page...
I seriously should have stocked up on rolling papers before this lockdown started...
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end.
"Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news."
The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?"
"The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life."
"Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?"
The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
A old man goes to the doctor for some tests
...and the doctor has some bad news.
"I'm sorry to tell you this. But two of your tests cam back positive. Firstly, we have detected a cancerous tumor in your lungs."
"Oh dear!" said the man.
"And secondly," the doctor said, "it seems you have tested positive for Alzheimer's disease. I'm very sorry."
The man replied, "That sounds serious! Well, on the bright side, at least I don't have cancer!"
My roommate went and got her hair done yesterday...
When she came home she immediately starts telling me how bad the hairdresser messed up. Dead hair, something was on for too long, blah blah blah. Well, she was really upset about it and kept bringing it up. So she says, "It's really a bummer because I spent so much money on something that I don't even like." So I said to her pretty seriously, "Well, then why don't you sue her."
She looked at me, kind of incredulous that I would suggest something so severe, so I continued, "For defamation of hair-acter."