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Serial Killer Jokes

104 serial killer jokes and hilarious serial killer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about serial killer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Serial Killer Short Jokes

Short serial killer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The serial killer humour may include short killer jokes also.

  1. Women say their number one fear of online dating is the guy will be a serial killer. Men say their number one fear is the woman will be fat.
  2. Most serial killers are men. That's because women like to kill one man slowly over many many years.
  3. Picked up a hitchhiker last night He said thanks! how do you know i'm not a serial killer though?
    I replied the chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical
  4. The police caught a serial killer who targeted gingers. At his trial, he kept insisting he'd never harmed a soul.
  5. They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer.... So I threw Dave off a cliff just in case it was him.
  6. If I was a serial killer my name would be "The suspense" So my victims would be like "oh no, the suspense is killing me"
    And then we would both laugh right before I kill them.
  7. A Serial Killer, Car Thief and Russian Spy walks into a bar And that was just the first guy
  8. I picked up a hitchhiker the other day. He said "you're brave, how do you know I'm not a serial killer?" I said "the chances of two serial killers being in the same car is astronomical"
  9. Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He asked me "How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"
    I responded "Haha! What are the chances there'd be 2 serial killers in 1 car at the same time?"
  10. When a serial killer goes to a circus, who do they go to kill first? They go for the Juggler

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Serial Killer One Liners

Which serial killer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with serial killer? I can suggest the ones about jack the ripper and manslaughter.

  1. Serial killer jokes are ok If they're executed properly
  2. What do biographers and serial killers have in common? Multiple life sentences.
  3. What's the favorite drink of every British serial killer? Casual tea
  4. Me trying to impress a girl Girl: I'm Into horror movies
    Me: My dad's a serial killer
  5. What did the racist serial killer say to the cop? Wait, you're getting paid?
  6. Ever heard about the serial killer on a bicycle? He was a cyclopath.
  7. If you are being chased by a serial killer. Both of you are running for your life.
  8. Did you hear about the Mexican Serial Killer? He had loco-motives.
  9. What's more dangerous than a serial killer? A parallel killer.
  10. What is a serial killer's favourite month? Dismember.
  11. What do you call a serial killer that rides a bike? A Cyclepath
  12. A mexican serial killer hides his victim's feet in the ground. He likes to burritos.
  13. What's the difference between a serial killer and a politician? The body count
  14. "Hey man, you want this body?" Asked the serial killer. "Nah, you cadaver."
  15. On which day does a serial killer rest? On the stabbath!

Serial Killer Dating Jokes

Here is a list of funny serial killer dating jokes and even better serial killer dating puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is a serial killer's favourite muesli topping? Chopped dates!!
    (first joke I've ever come up with)
  • I always ask a funny question on first dates. "Are you a serial killer? "
    Its healthy to avoid competition in a relationship.
  • In the world of online dating, women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone fat.
  • Prayers before going on a blind date Woman : oh god, I just hope he is not a serial killer,psychopath,needy, incel, stalker, poor,balding, ...
    Man : god , don't let her be fat..
  • What did the serial killer say at the end of a successful first date? Let me get them digits.
  • A serial killer and his date are out for a walk in the woods "Gee it sure is scary out here" she says
    "How do you think I feel? I gotta walk out of here alone."
  • Have you heard about that new dating app for serial killers? It's called Skinder

Entertaining Serial Killer Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about serial killer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stalker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make serial killer pranks.

Most serial killers are men.

That's because women prefer to kill just one man, over a period of many, many years.

A woman is walking through the woods at night with a serial killer.

She says to her companion, "Man, this forest is really creepy at night. I wish we weren't out here."
He replies, "You think you have it bad? I have to walk home alone!"

What do you get when you cross a gangster and a serial killer?

Murdered.
(If you don't get it: "cross" can mean "betray")

Did you hear about the serial killer who was coming out of retirement?

He's taking another stab at it.

That awkward moment when a r**... picks up a hitchhiking serial killer...

Killer: "Turn down that dark road down there."
r**...: "I was planning on it..."

So a r**... picks up a hitchhiking serial killer

Killer: "Turn down that dark road."
r**...: "I was planning on it..."
Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!

My Kids Got p**... at Me for Cooking pancake this Morning

Seems he was their favorite rabbit

Serial Killer...

The police have caught a serial killer with a really bad stammer.
They said it'll be a while before he finishes his sentence.

Why are there no female serial killers ??

Because after the first kill, they have to tell someone.

If I ever become a serial killer I am going to dispose of my victim's bodies by throwing them into a bottomless pit

It's a floorless plan.

Did you guys hear about the serial killer who's using smaller and smaller socks to strangle each new victim?

Be careful, they say he's still at large.

My best friend became a serial killer after his girlfriend Ruth left him

Now that shes gone, he pretty much became ruthless

Police were on the lookout for serial killer John Wayne Gacy

They stepped into a corner store for some coffee and saw a guy in back where the milk cartons are.
Cop 1: "Hey, that looks like our suspect!"
Cop 2: "What's he doing?"
Cop 1: "Talking to himself. Let's get closer."
So they go up right behind him and listen.
Gacy:"Need him. Got him. Got him. Got him. Need him. Got him...."

How do you stop serial killers?

Just arrest one of them, and all of them stop.
This wouldn't work if they were parallel killers.

What do a serial killer and a prolific gardener have in common?

Both of their sheds are filled with h**....

A guy picks up a female hitchiker...

And when they're on the road, he jokingly asks "Lady, how do you know I'm not some kind of psychotic serial killer?".
"I dunno, but I guess the odds are pretty low that you're one too.".

The police were tracking down a serial killer.

The police were tracking down a serial killer who would dismember his victims and sell their body parts. He was caught after trying to sell three feet at a yard sale. The bail cost him an arm and a leg.

There is a serial killer currently on the loose

He has been murdering people with knitting needles. Police think he is following some kind of pattern.

Today I found out my buddy Vlad is a serial killer...

...so I said: "Vladizlav, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more..."

Told my girlfriend that I've started writing a book about a serial killer that murders his lover.

She said, "That sounds exciting. I love thrillers."
I said, "It's not a thriller, it's an autobiography."

My friend was a violent serial killer...

Ended up getting caught some time back and sentenced to death by electric chair.
Fast-forward to day of execution.
Guard straps him in.
Guard: "Any last requests?"
Friend: "Remind me of buzzfeed clickbait articles 1 last time"
Guard: "The electric current is going to be started now, what happens next will shock you"

So I picked up a hitchhiker the other day...

After he got in he turned to me and jokingly said "Thanks, by the way how do you know I'm not a serial killer or something". I replied, "C'mon, the chances of /two/ serial killers being in the same car are astronomical".

One day I picked up a hitchhiker

He said, Sure is nice of you to pick me up. For all you know I could've been a serial killer.
I turned to him and said, The chances of two serial killers in one car are very slim.

I was trying to console the wife of a serial killer who committed s**....

I said, Hey, at least he died doing what he loved.

A serial killer who was known for taking body parts as trophies

A serial killer who was known for taking body parts as trophies was captured after attacking a uniformed police officer and severing her arm. When asked why he went after the officer despite knowing the danger, he simply replied, "It was a wrist I was willing to take."

I Was Chased By a Serial Killer

He backed me into a corner. There's nothing you can do! You're about to die!
You sound just like my doctor!

Movies

Friend 1: I just watched a film in which a man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and has to chase thr kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Friend 2 : Uhhh....what was it called?
Friend 1: Finding Nemo

A serial killer plead guilty to h**...

after being asked by the judge why he would kill, the serial killer responded,
"It fills me with energy."
He was charged with m**....

Did you hear about the serial killer that got killed in a standoff with the police in an ice cream shop?

He got what he dessert.

What's the difference between incels and serial killers?

Women won't let incels anywhere near them

I took a hitchhiker.

After some time, he asked me:
"Do you take hitchhikers often?"
I nodded my head.
Then he asked: "Aren't you afraid, that one of them will be a serial killer?"
"No, I am not afraid," I answered, "There's only a very small probability, that two serial killers meet in one car."

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".

I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. Thanks but why'd you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?

I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.

What do yo get if you're inducted into the serial killer hall of fame?

A lifetime dismembership.

If a were a serial killer I would kill my victims by sitting on their face until they suffocate

The media would call me the Assphyxiator

What do you call a serial killer who kills 2 people in one year, 4 the next, and 16 the year after?

A second degree m**....

A serial killer was celebrating his cake day when he was nabbed by the police.

As he was escorted, he heard a voice shouted, I've told you karma will come to bite you!

I heard that 1 in every 5 people from a group have the potential to be a serial killer

So I killed them all just to be safe.

If there is a Serial killer inside your house, What is the safest place to hide?

In the living room.

A duo of serial killers got convicted. The sentence caused some debate.

The first one got 25 years. He put his victims in a bowl an drowned them in milk. The other one put the milk in first and got sentenced to death.

What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?

A mass m**...

Picked up a hitch-hiker.

Seemed like a nice guy.
After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer?
I told him that the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

Hitchhiker: Thanks for picking me up, but how do you know I'm not a serial killer?

Driver: Well, what would be the odds of two serial killers in the same car?

Local Police Announcement "Serial killer wanted!"

I called immediately, but to my disappointment, it wasn't a job offering.

There was a serial killer who killed more people than Jeffrey d**... and never got caught

His name was Jeffrey Smahter

I picked up a hitchhiker last night.

He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger and asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How do you know I'm not a serial killer?"
I told him the chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomically low

A serial killer goes on a killing spree

He then skins all the faces off his victim and puts them in giant scrapbook.
The scrapbook is then tied to a post which he erects on his front lawn. It is quite a gruesome sight to behold.
Naturally the police find him pretty easily.
When he gets to court though his case is thrown out by the judge.
When asked why he let a serial killer go, the judge replies: "If we arrested everyone for bad facebook posts, half the country would be in jail!".

What's the difference between a politician and a serial killer?

The serial killer might listen if you plead with them

I picked up a hitch hiker

The man got in my car and said "Thank you for picking me up, but I mean how do you know I am not a serial killer or something?"
I said "I don't know for sure, but the chances of 2 serial killers being in one car would be astronomical"
Saw this on Quora months ago.

I just finished watching a m**... biopic on Netflix and some of those cops were really, really dumb.

The serial killer was d**... though.

Picked up a hitch-hiker the other day……

the guy said to me I'm glad you stopped, but you do know i could be a serial killer
I said, what's the chances of two serial killers in one car

What is worse than a serial killer

A parallel killer, who kills multiple people at once, instead of one at a time

jokes about serial killer