September Jokes

If you're looking for a good laugh, look no further than September jokes. From clean jokes to silly puns, there's something for everyone. So curl up with a good cup of coffee and enjoy a few laughs.

Howlingly Hilarious September Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

"Having too much s**... can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.

What does the Chicago Cubs's name stand for?

Completely Useless By September

September is alzheimers awareness month

Did anyone else forget?

Jenga Towers

At Highschool we have a test every week and my teacher lets the person with the highest score bring in their favourite board game. For years, my favourite game has been Jenga, the falling towers game.

So on friday the 8th in the first week of September I finally get the highest score and the teacher tells me I can bring in a board game on monday.

mfw I walk into class on 9/11 with Jenga and I'm a muslim...

jokes about september

My prediction for December 21, 2012

Many babies will be born on September 21, 2013

Uh oh! Guess what day it is! GUESS. WHAT. DAY. IT. IS.

It's September 11th.. you said you'd never forget!

Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.

October through May, then June through September.

September joke, Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.

What's the difference between a cow and September 11?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

One of my friends maintains that tomorrow doesn't come until you've have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

He also maintains that it's September 7th, 1998.

Really hate having to wait till September to drive my new car.

Shouldn't have bought an autumnobile.


I scheduled my wisdom tooth extraction for September 11th...

I know there's a joke in here somewhere but I can't find it. Help me out?

You can explore september apples reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean september halloween dad jokes. There are also september puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Guys, please don't forget to wake up Green Day tonight.

September is ending.

September was the first calendar month no NFL players were arrested in six years.

Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.

i hope people on September 2nd 1885 were flipping out on Back to the Future Part III day

My girlfriend of 5 years asked me...

My girlfriend of 5 years asked me when was the last time I had s**... with someone before her.

I said "back in '09". It sounds much better than saying September.

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

September joke, How many seconds are there in one year?

Offensive joke I thought of in class

Me and my friend were talking about the last time he has to work at his job.

"Yeah my last day of work is September 11"

I reply " Yeah that was a lot of other people's last day of work too"

September 1st

Never forget

"My body, my choice"

-Hilary Clinton, 11 September 2016

What do you get when you carve your pumpkin in September?

p**... Ejack-O-Lantern.

A businessman wakes up from a coma

"What happened?" The businessman asks the nurse who was in his room.

"Sir, you have been in a coma ever since the September 1, 1939. Your whole family has been dead for many years, your company has filed for bankruptcy and now you have no money left in the bank"

"Ah, that's okay as long as I can still see my favorite 6 million jews!"

Your lucky if you were born in September...

Because your parents started the new year with a bang.

Were you born on September?

If so, it's pretty obvious your parents started their New Year with a bang ;)

Here's to all the Marines on their special day!

September five!

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

I want to get married on September 11th...

That way I'll never forget my anniversary

September joke, I want to get married on September 11th...

September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died.

October: Hold my beer

National Pride Day should be September 21

September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.

September 8, 1999 is the release date of American Beauty.

It turned legal this year

If you're born in September...

...that means your parents started out the New Year with a bang

My buddy is getting married.

The date is set for September, 9th. I told him to push it back two days so he'll never forget.

The people who are born in September are really awesome

Their parents started their new year with a BANG!


A man wokring at the World Trade Center calls out sick on the day of September 11th 2001. He turns on the TV and sees the news. His wife yells to him and comes down to watch it with him. "Thats terrible honey, is your boss working today." "God I hope so" he replies

10 september 2001

The child of Bin Laden comes home grumpy. His dad asks him "what happened?". "Today I got an F in geography class". "And what did she ask you?". "What's the tallest building from New York and I said Empire State Building". "Eh, don't cry over it, I'll take care of that for you."

James A. Garfield was shot on Saturday, July 2, 1881.

He died months later, on Monday, September 19, 1881.

Garfield hates Mondays.

September is Alzheimer's awareness month

Never forget

I'm a narcoleptic Green Day fanatic,

Wake me up when September ends.

If you were born on the September 16th, you were more than likely conceived on Christmas Day.

I was actually born on September 15th, so Christmas came early for my mum.

There was a computers and technology fair on the 10th of September...

I arrived at the venue but they all looked at me confused. They told me the fair was 8 days ago. Ridiculous!

Somebody needs to wake up Billy Joe Armstong today.

"Wake me up when September ends..."

~Green Day

Have you heard of the mafioso who only works between September and December?

He's the fall guy.

Why don't gay people parade around after September 21st?

Because PRIDE comes BEFORE the FALL!

I wish my friend actually cared about Earth, Wind and Fire lyrics.

All they remember is
"dancing in September."

Apparently most babies are born in September

I suppose that's one way to start the new year off with a bang.

What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?

"Where were you on the night of September to March?"

My six-year old just got pregnant!

She's a Labrador Beagle Mix, and she'll be having a litter of puppies in September!

Please, don't get Covid-19

They are releasing Covid-20 in September and it's much better.

Last September my wife asked me to put a load in the dishwasher.

So long story short, happy fathers day to me.

Last week we had an earthquake, a hurricane, and a LITERAL serpentine fire so, on this auspicious day, I'd just like to say:

OK, Earth Wind & Fire...


I carve all my pumpkins in September.

I suffer with p**... ejackolantern

George Bush started cracking a 9/11 joke, but one of his advisors whispered, Too soon.

It was September 10th.

If you were born in September.....

it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

A death toll too high to imagine

On September 29th 2006 President George W. Bush receives a briefing from one of his staff

"Mr. President, we've just received reports of a commercial plane c**... in south America, 154 Brazilian people died."

"Oh my God, that's terrible..." The president replies solemnly, thinking quietly to himself.

"Wait... How much is a Brazilian?"

What do you call carving a pumpkin in September?

p**... ejackolantern

Pride Month should be celebrated in September.

As we know, Pride cometh before the Fall.

Buckingham Palace say the Queen will interrupt her annual stay in Balmoral in Scotland to hold an audience with the incoming new prime minister.

Creaking a bit, with limited mobility, but still doggedly in charge, the Tory party gets its new leader on September 5th.

If you were born in September

It's safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang !

Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?

January = Greg

February = Ian

March = Greg

April = Ian

May = Ian

June = Greg

July = Ian

August = Greg

September = Greg

October = Ian

November = Greg

December = Ian

How many Seconds are in a year?


January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the september april puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working september apr piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes