September Jokes

Following is our collection of november humor and jakarta one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include September puns for adults, dirty june jokes or clean jun gags for kids.

There is an abundance of month jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 48 funniest jokes on september. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any fireworks witze you can hear about september.

The Best jokes about September

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014 at 10:37 am.

My girlfriend of 5 years asked me...

My girlfriend of 5 years asked me when was the last time I had sex with someone before her.

I said "back in '09". It sounds much better than saying September.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

September joke

i hope people on September 2nd 1885 were flipping out on Back to the Future Part III day

September was the first calendar month no NFL players were arrested in six years.

Kudos to their wives for being so well behaved last month.


Really hate having to wait till September to drive my new car.

Shouldn't have bought an autumnobile.

Sorry.

10 september 2001

The child of Bin Laden comes home grumpy. His dad asks him "what happened?". "Today I got an F in geography class". "And what did she ask you?". "What's the tallest building from New York and I said Empire State Building". "Eh, don't cry over it, I'll take care of that for you."

September joke

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?

"Where were you on the night of September to March?"

I want to get married on September 11th...

That way I'll never forget my anniversary

National Pride Day should be September 21

September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.


Memory

A tourist was introduced to an Indian in New Mexico, who was said to have a perfect memory. Skeptically, the tourist asked, "What did you have for breakfast on September 10, 1943?"

The Indian answered, "Eggs."

The man scoffed, "Everyone eats eggs for breakfast. He's a phony. "

Thirteen years later, the traveller's train stopped again in the small New Mexico town, and he saw the same Indian sitting on the train platform. The tourist went up to him and said jovially, "How!"

The Indian answered, "Scrambled."

Last September my wife asked me to put a load in the dishwasher.

So long story short, happy fathers day to me.

Blonde Witness

A blonde named Edna had to appear in court as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor asked her, "Where were you the night of 5th September?"

"Objection!" said the defense attorney. "It's irrelevant!"

"Oh, that's okay," said Edna from the witness stand. "I can answer that question."

"I object!" the defense said again.

"No, really," said Edna. "I don't mind giving the answer."

The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."

So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of 5th September?"

Edna replied brightly, "I don't know."

Please, don't get Covid-19

They are releasing Covid-20 in September and it's much better.

Offensive joke I thought of in class

Me and my friend were talking about the last time he has to work at his job.

"Yeah my last day of work is September 11"

I reply " Yeah that was a lot of other people's last day of work too"

September joke

In honor of September 19th, what are your best pirate jokes?

September 19th is international talk like a pirate day, and I would love to hear all of your guys best pirate jokes. Here is mine:

Why do pirates have trouble learning the alphabet?
Because they spend years at Sea!

September is alzheimers awareness month

Did anyone else forget?

If you're born in September...

...that means your parents started out the New Year with a bang


What does the Chicago Cubs's name stand for?

Completely Useless By September

Jenga Towers

At Highschool we have a test every week and my teacher lets the person with the highest score bring in their favourite board game. For years, my favourite game has been Jenga, the falling towers game.

So on friday the 8th in the first week of September I finally get the highest score and the teacher tells me I can bring in a board game on monday.

mfw I walk into class on 9/11 with Jenga and I'm a muslim...

Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.

October through May, then June through September.

I'm a narcoleptic Green Day fanatic,

Wake me up when September ends.

The people who are born in September are really awesome

Their parents started their new year with a BANG!

Were you born on September?

If so, it's pretty obvious your parents started their New Year with a bang ;)

9/11

A man wokring at the World Trade Center calls out sick on the day of September 11th 2001. He turns on the TV and sees the news. His wife yells to him and comes down to watch it with him. "Thats terrible honey, is your boss working today." "God I hope so" he replies

If you were born on the September 16th, you were more than likely conceived on Christmas Day.

I was actually born on September 15th, so Christmas came early for my mum.

September is Alzheimer's awareness month

Never forget

A businessman wakes up from a coma

"What happened?" The businessman asks the nurse who was in his room.

"Sir, you have been in a coma ever since the September 1, 1939. Your whole family has been dead for many years, your company has filed for bankruptcy and now you have no money left in the bank"

"Ah, that's okay as long as I can still see my favorite 6 million jews!"

My six-year old just got pregnant!

She's a Labrador Beagle Mix, and she'll be having a litter of puppies in September!

My buddy is getting married.

The date is set for September, 9th. I told him to push it back two days so he'll never forget.

Guys, please don't forget to wake up Green Day tonight.

September is ending.

There was a computers and technology fair on the 10th of September...

I arrived at the venue but they all looked at me confused. They told me the fair was 8 days ago. Ridiculous!

A 'Cold War' joke I tought up today...

It's early September, 1984. Children around the world are going back to school. Despite living on opposing sides of the Iron Curtain, two Mathematics teachers, one in the United States and the other in the Soviet Union, ask their respective classes the same question.

"OK class." Said the American teacher, "If I had three oranges, and I divided them fairly between four children, how many oranges would each child receive?"

Most of the children in his class answered with pretty much the same thing. "It's easy." Replied the class, "One child gets two oranges, the second gets a half, the third gets an eighth, the fourth gets nothing, and we keep the rest to throw at our enemies."

On the other side of the world, in Russia, the Soviet teacher asks the same to her own class.

"Students." She asked, "If I had three oranges, and had to distribute them fairly to four children, how many oranges will each child have?"

The Russian class asked their teacher "What are oranges?"

One of my friends maintains that tomorrow doesn't come until you've have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

He also maintains that it's September 7th, 1998.

"My body, my choice"

-Hilary Clinton, 11 September 2016

September 8, 1999 is the release date of American Beauty.

It turned legal this year

Your lucky if you were born in September...

Because your parents started the new year with a bang.

September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died.

October: Hold my beer

My prediction for December 21, 2012

Many babies will be born on September 21, 2013

James A. Garfield was shot on Saturday, July 2, 1881.

He died months later, on Monday, September 19, 1881.

Garfield hates Mondays.

Apparently most babies are born in September

I suppose that's one way to start the new year off with a bang.

Uh oh! Guess what day it is! GUESS. WHAT. DAY. IT. IS.

It's September 11th.. you said you'd never forget!

Why don't gay people parade around after September 21st?

Because PRIDE comes BEFORE the FALL!

Have you heard of the mafioso who only works between September and December?

He's the fall guy.

Somebody needs to wake up Billy Joe Armstong today.

"Wake me up when September ends..."

~Green Day

I wish my friend actually cared about Earth, Wind and Fire lyrics.

All they remember is
"dancing in September."

What's the difference between a cow and September 11?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes