Sentence Quick Jokes
9 sentence quick jokes and hilarious sentence quick puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sentence quick that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Silly & Ridiculous Sentence Quick Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What is a good sentence quick joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A Christian, a Muslim, and a Jew are sentenced to death. The warden lets them choose the method.
The Christian says "a firing squad would be painless. I choose that." In comes a firing squad and *bang* they kill him.
The Muslim says "yes, that does seem to be quick. I also choose the firing squad." *Bang*. He, too, is killed.
The warden says to the Jew, "and how do you want to die?"
And he responds "old age".
A king's chef was sentenced to death, after serving terrible food one too many times...
On the day the sentence was to be carried out, the chef brought one of his cakes and presented it to the headsman, in the hopes it would encourage him to make the death quick and painless.
When the headsman returned home, his wife asked how the proceedings had gone.
"Awful taste but great execution."
Teacher: "Billy, can you give me a sentence with the word contagious in it?"
Billy: "Trump should have responded to the COVID-19 outbreak quickly and decisively but it took the contagious"
Keep it simple s**...
Drill sgt. looks at the recruits at basic and says, I'm going to give you four important words in the Army and you need to make a sentence as quick as possible. The four words are; defense, defeat, deduct, and detail. Pri'ate Johnson, go! Johnson just stares at the drill blankly. Boom, you're dead Johnson. Smith, your turn! Smith stammers, Our defense budg-dg-dg... You're dead too! Thibodeaox; defense, defeat, deduct, and detail, go! Without hesitation Thibodeaux says, Drill S'arnt, defeat of deduct went over defense before detail!
Quick, Short, Funny Court Appearance
j**... Bartle was arrested and put on trial for robbing a local shop at gunpoint. In his wisdom he decided that he would represent himself in court. He appeared to be doing reasonably well until the shop's owner took the stand to give his evidence.
She had identified him immediately as the robber, when Bartle jumped up and yelled, 'You're lying! I should have blown your head off!' He paused, then added, 'If I had been the one that was there.'
The jury found him guilty and j**... Bartle was sentenced to thirty years imprisonment.
USSR Joke Adapted For 2018
On a tour of Washington D.C. a young man lags behind the tour group to take a longer look at the White House. However, he was quite upset with the President and in a moment of anger he shouts across the lawn "The President is a disgusting pig". As he turns to walk away the D.C. police quickly arrest the man and he is taken before a judge. The Judge takes a cursory glance at the charges and sentences the man to 4 years in prison. In disbelief he yells to the judge "I didn't know insulting the President was a crime". The Judge lowers his glasses and says "Insulting the President isn't a crime, but revealing state secrets is".
A man is texting his wife...
"Alright, see you soon!" the man says to his wife.
She responds "Isn't there something you forgot to tell me?"
The man then replies "Oh yes! I forgot to tell you. I dont love you very much."
She then replies "Wait, what do you mean!?
the wife thinks to herself, "he must have made a typo, he probably meant to say "do," instead of "dont."
She replies, "Honey, did you make a typo in that sentence?"
The man then quickly responds "Silly me, I forgot the apostrophe!"
An old lady was arrested for shoplifting carrots.
At her court hearing the judge looked at her and said "I'm going to sentence you to one month for every carrot you stole to teach you a lesson..you stole four carrots so that's four months jail time for you."
Before he could swing his gavel down the old lady's husband raises his hand and says "Your honor, can I make a statement on behalf of my wife before you pass sentencing?"
The judge says "Yes, make it quick I have other cases to try today."
The husband looks at his wife, then the judge and says "She also stole a can of peas."
Asking for her hand...
A guy went to his girlfriend's house for dinner to gain her father's permission for marriage. After the dinner, she and her mother went to the kitchen while her father and the guy sat down in the living room to talk this through.
The father said, "Okay son, I understand the purpose of this visit. You have come to ask permission for my daughter's hand in marriage from me. I will make this short and easy for you so we can get this finished quickly and talk about the real, interesting stuff like that game last night, haha. So, what I want from you is to summarise in just one sentence, the answer to this question: Why do you want her hand?"
The guy thinks for a while, and then replies, "Well, sir, you see... my hand has grown kind of tired by now..."
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