Sentence Jokes
156 sentence jokes and hilarious sentence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sentence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy a collection of hilarious sentence jokes. Learn how to craft two sentence jokes and complete a sentence to get a laugh. Discover jokes related to probation, parole and other forms of punishment to take your joke-telling to the next level.
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Funniest Sentence Short Jokes
Short sentence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sentence humour may include short phrase jokes also.
- So Tekashi69 could face life in prison Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence
- My brother who has a stutter is in prison. It's just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.
- A coma in a sentence can literally change everything. For example: *Ben is in a hurry.*
*Ben is in a coma.* - Police have arrested the world tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.
- My crush told me that I'm pretty. Well, the whole sentence was "you're pretty annoying", but I focus only on the positive things.
- A man is on is death sentence and he gets to choose his last meal He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life, they never found a working machine.
- Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced by a musical instrument.
- Why was the little ink drop crying? His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.
- Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma." - What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences.
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Sentence One Liners
Which sentence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sentence? I can suggest the ones about thesis and clause.
- Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence
- A guy with a stutter died in prison before he could finish his sentence.
- What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence? Parole.
- Where do bad rainbow go? Prism
Only a light sentence - If not using commas was a crime would it result in long sentences?
- What do biographers and serial killers have in common? Multiple life sentences.
- The shortest sentence in the English language is also the longest I do
- I'll never forget my son's 89th sentence Dad, you remember weird stuff
- I got arrested the other day for stealing full stops. I'm looking at a long sentence.
- I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard. I expect a long sentence.
- If a man who stutters goes to jail, Does he end up with a longer sentence?
- Mona Lisa was sentenced to life imprisonment. She assured me she was framed.
- Two ways of driving someone crazy; One is stopping in mid-sentence and
- Jared Fogle is pleased sentence is under 18 years.
- I don't always finish my sentences… But when I do,
Sentence Using Jokes
Here is a list of funny sentence using jokes and even better sentence using puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The use of capitals can really change the meaning of a sentence Example:
I like to eat candy
I like to eat capitals - Teacher - 'Use dandelion in a sentence' Jamaican student - 'De cheetah is faster dandelion'
- There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
- "Your next spelling word is: beheaded." Can you use it in a sentence please?
"Sure, Kathy Griffin beheaded to the unemployment office." - Use 'discount' in a sentence. Teacher: Johnny, please use "discount" in a sentence.
Johnny: Yes ma'am, "Does discount as a sentence?"
- Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"
- Back in the day, excessive use of commas was considered a very serious crime. It usually resulted in a long sentence.
- Teacher: "Billy, can you use the word 'contagious' in a sentence?" Billy: "My dad said it will take that contagious to fix the fence."
- Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
[Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
[Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate - Hey, remember how we used to finish each other's sentences when we were younger? Well I'm in prison now and I really need a favour
Use In A Sentence Jokes
Here is a list of funny use in a sentence jokes and even better use in a sentence puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So, bill gates and Steve Jobs walk into a bar... and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence.
- An English test question asked us to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence. I wrote, "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- Breaking: Spelling Bee Official Pronounced Dead. He then used it in a sentence.
- warning sign on children's alphabet blocks Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
- My twin brother and I used to finish each other's sentences ... but now he's in jail.
- I used to use the word Alternative in sentences a lot... But then I learned it meant something different.
- I hate people who use the wrong words in a sentence and don't correct themselves They sometimes should have the humidity to admit it.
- Use these four words correctly in a sentence: deduct, defense, defeat, and detail. Deduct jumped over defense, defeat before detail
- I asked an African man to use the word dandelion in a sentence His response was "da cheeta runs fasta dan de lion"
- The judge told me I might get capital punishment for my crimes, and asked me if I knew what it meant.. I didn't, so I told him to use it in a sentence.
One Sentence Jokes
Here is a list of funny one sentence jokes and even better one sentence puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend said that, apparently, you cant make a sentence without the letter 'a'... I don't know if they're right. Do you guys know if its true? I'm honestly kind of lost on this one...
- The shortest sentence known to man is I Am The longest one is I Do
- The bad news is, one of the earliest signs of cognitive impairment is the inability to finish sentences. The good news Is
- One sentence horror story: "Seems like we're the last two people left on Earth, m'lady"
- If I am is said to be the shortest sentence in the English language... Could it be that I do is the longest one?
- What's the difference between a comma and a coma? One pauses your sentence, the other pauses your life.
- Kid from The Sixth Sense asked to comment on Game Of Thrones and he described it with one sentence. "Icey dead people"
- What's the difference between a mumble rapper and a convict... One of them can finish a sentence.
- If you have to describe yourself in one sentence what would it be? Lazy.
- Are you a member of the One Word Sentence Association? I'm.
Prison Sentence Jokes
Here is a list of funny prison sentence jokes and even better prison sentence puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
- Why do women's prisons give out tampons on release day? Because all sentences should end with a period.
- Whats a prisoners favorite punctuation mark? Period.
Because it marks the end of a sentence. - Judge: For your crimes against our citizenry, I hearby sentence you to a decade in prison. Man: That's a long sentence. Can you reduce it?
Judge: Ok. You go to jail 10 years. - My cousin who stutters was sentenced to 6 months in prison That was two years ago, but he still hasn't finished his sentence
- A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested. He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.
- Jared Fogle was sentenced to 16 years in prison He told the jury that he was happy with anything under 18
- Less time in prison than he deserved why did the convict get? Because the sentence got mixed up.
- R.Kelly has decided to contest his 30 year prison sentence He wants it reduced to something below 14 years .
- My kid comes up to me and asks... Hey mom, if you're sentenced to prison in the court of God, would you need Christian Bale??
Laughable Sentence Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about sentence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jury jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sentence pranks.
At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It's bec..."
Officer: Yes?
Inmate: I think I have..
Officer: Go on.
Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it.
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.
Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'
Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference
For example:
Johnny ate his own lunch after school.
Johnny ate his own colon after school.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence.
Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch
becomes
Jimmy went to school and ate his colon
A man walks into an Indian restaurant.
The waiter asks, have you ever ordered here before?
The man replies, No, I haven't.
The waiter continues, We're a little different here. Before you order, I need you read and sign this form, and he hands a piece of paper to the man.
The man squints at the paper and reads the single sentence, We have naan at this restaurant. The man looked up, puzzled, and asked why he needed to sign this worthless statement.
The waiter replied, impatiently, Just sign the naan disclosure agreement and we can move on.
The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, I stole a can of peaches.
The judge then asked, how many peaches were in the can?
Six, replied the woman.
After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total.
At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn't know what to do.
And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, your honor, wait!
The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say.
She also stole a can of peas!
A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.
Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."
Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"
Poodle: "That's not gonna work"
Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"
Poodle: "...No"
Chihuahua: "LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man murdered his wife and was sentenced to death.
There was a crowd waiting around the gallows to watch. As the hangman put the noose around his neck, he was asked, Do you have any last words?
The m**... said, Yeah, I have a joke that I came up with while I was waiting.
So, I hadn't showered for a week by the day I killed my wife. I tied her up and told her that I'd cut her apart while she was still alive, and she told me, 'At least cut my nose off first.'
Everyone there burst out laughing. The hangman said, That joke was about something terrible! Why was it so funny?
Well, I believe you can make a joke about any topic funny, said the m**.... After all, good comedy is all about execution.
Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words, Defence, Defeat, Detail.
Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words, Defence, Defeat, Detail.
Charlie: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, "Let's eat kids" becomes
"Let's eat punctuation"
is google male or female?
female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions
A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.
He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
I want Donald Trump to be my parole officer...
...he never lets anybody finish a sentence.
Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.
Example:
I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.
A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"
"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is Google a woman?
I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Daughter: What does g**... mean?
Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way
Her: So what's 'penetrating g**...'?
Me: Er... read me the whole sentence
Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze"
Me: Oh
A teacher asks her class to use 'contagious' in a sentence
A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.
"Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.
*Teacher to Student* T: "Use the word 'centimeter' in a sentence"
S: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so i was centimeter"
T: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please"
S: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"
During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny "have you ever heard of the word contagious before?"
"Of course miss" Johnny replies "my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday".
"Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?"
"Yes, miss. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate when people don't leave a s**... note.
Would it kill them to write few sentences?
A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.
He is to kneel in front of him and recite a sentence in Latin when he taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.
Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?
One student raises their hand,
The cheetah is faster dandelion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If 6ix9ine serves his 47 years...
he'll be the first mumble rapper to finish a sentence
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A visitor to Harvard asks a professor...
A visitor to Harvard asks a professor, "Excuse me, but would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at?"
"Sir," came the sneering reply, "at Harvard we do not end a sentence with a preposition."
"Well, in that case, forgive me," said the visitor. "Permit me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at, j**...?"
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A barbarian s**... in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter
They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to o**... s**... only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.
Eventually, though, he was gladiator.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is Google a boy or girl?
Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example:
- Jane ate her friend's sandwich.
-
- - Jane ate her friend's colon.
A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.
He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.
When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.
My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole!!
Man, that sentence was way too long.
"The word of the day is 'contagious'" Said the teacher, "Who can use it in a sentence?"
Little Jenny stood up and said "My dad has a cold and said its contagious"
The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.
Billy stood up and said "Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious"
Happy with Billy's response, the teacher asked for one more student to stand up and give an example.
Little Johnny stood up...
"Miss, my next door neighbour is painting his house with a 1 inch brush and my dad said its going to take the contagious."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.
She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Texan says to a Harvard student...
Texan: where are ya from?
Harvard Student: well, where *i'm* from, we don't end sentences with prepositions.
Texan: oh, alright. where are ya from, j**...?
Adding a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence
For example:
Jeffrey ate John's sandwich.
Jeffrey ate John's colon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
r**......
Short word.
Long sentence.
Scientists have deciphered hieroglyphics thought to be 5,500 years old. The first full sentence says
"This is a repost."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Racism
Sometimes if I wanna get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with "I'm not racist,
"I'm not racist, but you look great today."
And they say, "that wasn't racist at all."
And I say, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Christian, a Muslim, and a Jew are sentenced to death. The warden lets them choose the method.
The Christian says "a firing squad would be painless. I choose that." In comes a firing squad and *bang* they kill him.
The Muslim says "yes, that does seem to be quick. I also choose the firing squad." *Bang*. He, too, is killed.
The warden says to the Jew, "and how do you want to die?"
And he responds "old age".
When Kim Jong-Un met Donald Trump some questioned whether he could actually speak English
It has now been reported that Trump actually managed several sentences in almost fluent English.
is it crazy how saying sentences backwards . . .
. . .create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
A man has been found guilty of overusing commas
The judge warned him to expect a very long sentence.
At the spelling bee
Judge: Your word is "there."
Me: In a sentence please.
Judge: They're parking their car over there.
A man goes to jail.
A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman...
Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman.
A good example: I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At university, students had to come up with a sentence in which the words "love" and "s**..." both appeared
A female student's composition:
'When two people deeply and passionately love each other, and both reach a high level of mutual respect, then society morally and spiritually encourages that these two people should unite in the ecstasy of physical s**....'
A male student's composition:
'I love s**....'
A man was sentenced to death, but wasn't told how they'll kill him.
Needless to say, they left him hanging.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man sentenced to five years for m**... with soap in public.
Came clean in court.
The shortest sentence in the English language is "go." What is the longest?
Life without parole
Teacher asks their class of children to come up with a sentence beginning with "I"
After a few children come to the front with predictable statements about having a cat or a certain toy, a child steps up and says
"I is-" and is immediately interrupted by the teacher,
"I *am*!"
She side-eyes the teacher, frowns and ignores her teacher, starting again
"I is-" again, the teacher interrupts her, this time a little more snappily
"It's I *am*! Use the proper word!"
The girl turns to look at her this time, eyelids drooped with exasperation.
"Fine," she sighs "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
I am 24 seconds older than my twin brother...
... whenever I come out of the toilet I start a sentence with "When I was your age...." then proceed telling him the details of my majestic creation.
My Grandfather's Favorite Joke [word play]
A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.
A priest, a fisherman, and an engineer were sentenced to death by guillotine.
The executioner told the priest he could say/do one more thing before he was executed. So the priest prays to God to spare his life. So as the priest was being executed, the guillotine got stuck. Now according to the law, if the guillotine fails to kill the person, they are set free.So, the priest was let go.
Next up was the fisherman. Seeing what had happened with the priest, he also prayed to God to have his life spared. Once again, the guillotine failed, and the fisherman was let go.
Finally came the engineer. He spends his last moments looking at the guillotine. Oh, I see the problem...
I swear I just troll-dadded this on the spot when my daughter asked...
"Dad, what's a preposition?"
"A preposition is a word that you never, ever end a sentence with."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is Google a Boy or a Girl?
A girl, because it tries to complete your sentences for you, and it *never ever* forgets what you said.
The Inauguration of the First Jewish President.
The first Jewish President has just been elected, and is being sworn in. One man in the audience is watching him take the oath, when he realizes he is sitting next to the President's mother.
She turns to him and says,
"You see that man up there, the one with his hand on the book repeating the sentences?"
"Yeah?" He responds
"His brother's a doctor"
I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...
So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.
