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Sentence Jokes

156 sentence jokes and hilarious sentence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sentence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy a collection of hilarious sentence jokes. Learn how to craft two sentence jokes and complete a sentence to get a laugh. Discover jokes related to probation, parole and other forms of punishment to take your joke-telling to the next level.

Funniest Sentence Short Jokes

Short sentence jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sentence humour may include short phrase jokes also.

  1. So Tekashi69 could face life in prison Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence
  2. A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference For example:
    Johnny ate his own lunch after school.
    Johnny ate his own colon after school.
  3. My brother who has a stutter is in prison. It's just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.
  4. A coma in a sentence can literally change everything. For example: *Ben is in a hurry.*
    *Ben is in a coma.*
  5. The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence. Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch
    becomes
    Jimmy went to school and ate his colon
  6. Police have arrested the world tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.
  7. My crush told me that I'm pretty. Well, the whole sentence was "you're pretty annoying", but I focus only on the positive things.
  8. A man is on is death sentence and he gets to choose his last meal He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life, they never found a working machine.
  9. The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
  10. Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I" Bobby: I is...
    Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
    Bobby: I am the 9th letter of the alphabet.

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Sentence One Liners

Which sentence one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sentence? I can suggest the ones about thesis and clause.

  1. Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence
  2. A guy with a stutter died in prison before he could finish his sentence.
  3. Why did Obama get two terms? Because black men always get a longer sentence
  4. What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence? Parole.
  5. If 6ix9ine serves his 47 years... he'll be the first mumble rapper to finish a sentence
  6. Where do bad rainbow go? Prism
    Only a light sentence
  7. If not using commas was a crime would it result in long sentences?
  8. Where do rainbows go when they're bad? Prism. It's a light sentence.
  9. What do biographers and serial killers have in common? Multiple life sentences.
  10. Why is it so hard to talk to rich criminals? Because they never finish their sentences.
  11. The shortest sentence in the English language is also the longest I do
  12. I'll never forget my son's 89th sentence Dad, you remember weird stuff
  13. I got arrested the other day for stealing full stops. I'm looking at a long sentence.
  14. Why did Obama get two terms as President? Because every black man gets a longer sentence.
  15. What's the worlds longest sentence? I do.

Sentence Using Jokes

Here is a list of funny sentence using jokes and even better sentence using puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The use of capitals can really change the meaning of a sentence Example:
    I like to eat candy
    I like to eat capitals
  • Teacher - 'Use dandelion in a sentence' Jamaican student - 'De cheetah is faster dandelion'
  • There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . . Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
  • Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence" Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"
    Jamaican student: "the cheetah is faster dandelion"
    *Everyone dies*
  • "Your next spelling word is: beheaded." Can you use it in a sentence please?
    "Sure, Kathy Griffin beheaded to the unemployment office."
  • A jamaican is asked, use Dandelion in a sentence ... He then says ...
    "The cheetah is faster dandelion"
  • Use 'discount' in a sentence. Teacher: Johnny, please use "discount" in a sentence.
    Johnny: Yes ma'am, "Does discount as a sentence?"
  • Sometimes, it's very important as to whether a sentence was said by a man or a woman For example: I used up a whole pack of tissues yesterday during that movie!
  • Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"
  • Back in the day, excessive use of commas was considered a very serious crime. It usually resulted in a long sentence.

Use In A Sentence Jokes

Here is a list of funny use in a sentence jokes and even better use in a sentence puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Teacher: "Billy, can you use the word 'contagious' in a sentence?" Billy: "My dad said it will take that contagious to fix the fence."
  • Mike Tyson was arrested at a 5th grade sitting bee his first time judging The word was Dictate.
    [Spelling Bee Contestant] Can you use it in a sentence?
    [Mike Tyson] She liked the way my Dictate
  • A teacher asks her students to use the word dandelion on a sentence A boy raises his hand and says, the cheetah is faster dandelion.
  • A english teacher asked the class... ... Use the word 'dandelion' in a sentence.
    The Jamaican kid then stood up and proudly exclaimed -
    De Cheetah is fastah dandelion'
  • Hey, remember how we used to finish each other's sentences when we were younger? Well I'm in prison now and I really need a favour
  • So, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs walk into a bar... and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence.
  • An English test question asked us to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence. I wrote, "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
  • Judge: "You have been found unanimously guilty of using clickbait, and I sentence you to death by electric chair." What happens next will shock you.
  • Breaking: Spelling Bee Official Pronounced Dead. He then used it in a sentence.
  • My teacher asked me to make a sentence using the words; defence, defeat and detail, i said.... When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first then detail...
Sentence joke, My teacher asked me to make a sentence using the words; defence, defeat and detail, i said....

One Sentence Jokes

Here is a list of funny one sentence jokes and even better one sentence puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend said that, apparently, you cant make a sentence without the letter 'a'... I don't know if they're right. Do you guys know if its true? I'm honestly kind of lost on this one...
  • Prison may be just one word But to some people, it's a long sentence.
  • Two ways of driving someone crazy; One is stopping in mid-sentence and
  • Prison is just one word. But for some people it's a whole sentence.
  • The shortest sentence known to man is I Am The longest one is I Do
  • The bad news is, one of the earliest signs of cognitive impairment is the inability to finish sentences. The good news Is
  • Judge: "Lady, you shoplifted a can of tomatoes, so I sentence you to four weeks in prison, one for each tomato." Lady's husband: "Your honour, don't forget she also stole a can of peas."
  • Prison might just be one word to you... But to some people, it's a long sentence.
  • One sentence horror story: "Seems like we're the last two people left on Earth, m'lady"
  • If I am is said to be the shortest sentence in the English language... Could it be that I do is the longest one?

Prison Sentence Jokes

Here is a list of funny prison sentence jokes and even better prison sentence puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison... ...but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.
  • Why do women's prisons give out tampons on release day? Because all sentences should end with a period.
  • Whats a prisoners favorite punctuation mark? Period.
    Because it marks the end of a sentence.
  • Judge: For your crimes against our citizenry, I hearby sentence you to a decade in prison. Man: That's a long sentence. Can you reduce it?
    Judge: Ok. You go to jail 10 years.
  • My brother who stutters was sent to prison. I feel bad knowing he will never complete his sentence.
  • My cousin who stutters was sentenced to 6 months in prison That was two years ago, but he still hasn't finished his sentence
  • A private goes AWOL from the Army to follow his calling as a pastry chef, but gets caught and arrested. He was eventually court-martialed and sentenced to five years in prison for being a desserter.
  • Jared Fogle was sentenced to 16 years in prison He told the jury that he was happy with anything under 18
  • What's long and hard on a black guy His prison sentence
    I hope this hasn't been said before, I half came up with this all by my lonesome
  • Less time in prison than he deserved why did the convict get? Because the sentence got mixed up.
Sentence joke, Less time in prison than he deserved why did the convict get?

Laughable Sentence Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about sentence you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jury jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sentence pranks.

At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It's bec..."

Officer: Yes?
Inmate: I think I have..
Officer: Go on.
Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.
Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'
Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet

[At a parole hearing] Officer: Tell me, why should you be released early?

Inmate: It's bec..
Officer: Yes?
Inmate: I think I have..
Officer: Go on.
Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

A man walks into an Indian restaurant.

The waiter asks, have you ever ordered here before?
The man replies, No, I haven't.
The waiter continues, We're a little different here. Before you order, I need you read and sign this form, and he hands a piece of paper to the man.
The man squints at the paper and reads the single sentence, We have naan at this restaurant. The man looked up, puzzled, and asked why he needed to sign this worthless statement.
The waiter replied, impatiently, Just sign the naan disclosure agreement and we can move on.

The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, I stole a can of peaches.

The judge then asked, how many peaches were in the can?
Six, replied the woman.
After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total.
At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn't know what to do.
And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, your honor, wait!
The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say.
She also stole a can of peas!

A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.

Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."
Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"
Poodle: "That's not gonna work"
Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"
Poodle: "...No"
Chihuahua: "LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!"

A man murdered his wife and was sentenced to death.

There was a crowd waiting around the gallows to watch. As the hangman put the noose around his neck, he was asked, Do you have any last words?
The m**... said, Yeah, I have a joke that I came up with while I was waiting.
So, I hadn't showered for a week by the day I killed my wife. I tied her up and told her that I'd cut her apart while she was still alive, and she told me, 'At least cut my nose off first.'
Everyone there burst out laughing. The hangman said, That joke was about something terrible! Why was it so funny?
Well, I believe you can make a joke about any topic funny, said the m**.... After all, good comedy is all about execution.

Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words, Defence, Defeat, Detail.

Teacher: Give me a sentence which includes the words, Defence, Defeat, Detail.
Charlie: When a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail.

Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced

by a musical instrument.

Court decision: "I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair......

....what happens next will shock you."

Why was the little ink drop crying?

His mother was in the pen and he didn't know how long the sentence would be.

Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence...

For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma."

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, "Let's eat kids" becomes

"Let's eat punctuation"

is google male or female?

female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions

A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen.

He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

I want Donald Trump to be my parole officer...

...he never lets anybody finish a sentence.

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:
I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.

A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."

Is Google a woman?

I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions.

Daughter: What does g**... mean?

Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other - two men can love each other the same way
Her: So what's 'penetrating g**...'?
Me: Er... read me the whole sentence
Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze"
Me: Oh

A teacher asks her class to use 'contagious' in a sentence

A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"
Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer.
"Our mean next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious.

*Teacher to Student* T: "Use the word 'centimeter' in a sentence"

S: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so i was centimeter"
T: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please"
S: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"

During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny "have you ever heard of the word contagious before?"

"Of course miss" Johnny replies "my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday".
"Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?"
"Yes, miss. We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up.

I hate when people don't leave a s**... note.

Would it kill them to write few sentences?

A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.

He is to kneel in front of him and recite a sentence in Latin when he taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

A man noticed that his friend only smoked two cigarettes at a time.

He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. He told me to smoke for him too"
Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! Your brother finished his sentence?"
His friend said: "No, I quit smoking"

A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.

Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?
One student raises their hand,
The cheetah is faster dandelion.

Comas make a big difference in a sentence.

For example,
Ben is in a hurry.
Ben is in a coma.

Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"

Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"
Student: I is the...
Teacher: stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

A visitor to Harvard asks a professor...

A visitor to Harvard asks a professor, "Excuse me, but would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at?"
"Sir," came the sneering reply, "at Harvard we do not end a sentence with a preposition."
"Well, in that case, forgive me," said the visitor. "Permit me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at, j**...?"

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?"

Inmate: it's bec..
Officer: Yes?
Inmate: I think i have..
Officer: Go on.
Inmate: Can i please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

A barbarian s**... in Rome somehow won the attention of Caesar's daughter

They became lovers. To avoid pregnancy, they agreed to o**... s**... only. After just a few encounters, they were caught in the act. At first the barbarian, imprisoned and sentenced to fight to entertain the crowd, regretted his poor judgment.
Eventually, though, he was gladiator.

Is Google a boy or girl?

Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example:

- Jane ate her friend's sandwich.
-
- - Jane ate her friend's colon.

A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.

He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.
When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.

"Dad, what does g**...' mean?"

Me: You know how mum and dad love each
other? Well, two men can love each other the same
way.
Daughter: So what is 'penetrating g**...'?
Me: Er.. read me the whole sentence.
Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze."
Me: Oh.

My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole!!

Man, that sentence was way too long.

"The word of the day is 'contagious'" Said the teacher, "Who can use it in a sentence?"

Little Jenny stood up and said "My dad has a cold and said its contagious"
The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.
Billy stood up and said "Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious"
Happy with Billy's response, the teacher asked for one more student to stand up and give an example.

Little Johnny stood up...
"Miss, my next door neighbour is painting his house with a 1 inch brush and my dad said its going to take the contagious."

A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.

She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"

Capitalization can really change a sentence.

For example:
I love to eat candy.
I love to eat capitalization.

A Texan says to a Harvard student...

Texan: where are ya from?
Harvard Student: well, where *i'm* from, we don't end sentences with prepositions.
Texan: oh, alright. where are ya from, j**...?

Adding a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence

For example:
Jeffrey ate John's sandwich.
Jeffrey ate John's colon.

r**......

Short word.
Long sentence.

Scientists have deciphered hieroglyphics thought to be 5,500 years old. The first full sentence says

"This is a repost."

Racism

Sometimes if I wanna get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with "I'm not racist,
"I'm not racist, but you look great today."
And they say, "that wasn't racist at all."
And I say, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."

I think Google's a woman...

Because it won't let you finish a sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

A Christian, a Muslim, and a Jew are sentenced to death. The warden lets them choose the method.

The Christian says "a firing squad would be painless. I choose that." In comes a firing squad and *bang* they kill him.
The Muslim says "yes, that does seem to be quick. I also choose the firing squad." *Bang*. He, too, is killed.
The warden says to the Jew, "and how do you want to die?"
And he responds "old age".

When Kim Jong-Un met Donald Trump some questioned whether he could actually speak English

It has now been reported that Trump actually managed several sentences in almost fluent English.

is it crazy how saying sentences backwards . . .

. . .create backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail.

But apparently you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.

Comas can change the meaning of a sentence.

For example:
"Donald is in a hurry."
"Donald is in a coma."

A man has been found guilty of overusing commas

The judge warned him to expect a very long sentence.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail

But apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

An Oxford Graduate walks into a bar

Some Texans are mingling at the bar when an Oxford graduate walks in. Howdy, stranger, one Texan says. Where are you from?
The Oxford graduate answers, I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions.
Oh, I'm sorry, replies the Texan. Where are you from, j**...?

In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word contagious . Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.

- Susan?
- I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!
- Very good. What about you, Johnny?
- Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious!

At the spelling bee

Judge: Your word is "there."
Me: In a sentence please.
Judge: They're parking their car over there.

A man goes to jail.

A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."

Sentence joke, A man goes to jail.

jokes about sentence