Sensitive Jokes
109 sensitive jokes and hilarious sensitive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sensitive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Does telling a joke that offends a sensitive person make you a problematic comedian? Find out how to judge when a joke is reasonable or unreasonable and what to do if you feel vulnerable or squeamish when jokes don't land.
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Funniest Sensitive Short Jokes
Short sensitive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sensitive humour may include short touchy jokes also.
- Genders are like the twin Towers There used to be two of them and now its a really sensitive subject.
- When my dentist reminded me about my wife's sensitive gag reflex, we laughed and laughed about it for a while... Then I remembered...................me and my wife have different dentists…
- I told a girl she would look better with her hair back and she got really offended. Chemo patients are so sensitive.
- I asked the grammar police about a crime in the capital... They told me that case was sensitive.
- Have you heard about the new super sensitive condoms? They hang around after the guy leaves and talk to the woman.
- Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends. - A time sensitive joke for you guys tomorrow.. Knock Knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 who?
You said you'd never forget. - How do you broach the sensitive religious topic about the possibility a human soul might not actually exist? Gingerly.
- I have sensitive teeth... And I'm afraid I'll say something that will hurt their fillings.
- my pregnant wife was feeling sensitive about her enlarged breast due to lactation, so I gave her a cute nickname to cheer her up. Apparently Dairy Queen wasn't the right choice.
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Sensitive One Liners
Which sensitive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sensitive? I can suggest the ones about delicate and fragile.
- Why are seismologists so hard to get along with? Because they're sensitive to a fault.
- I'm very sensitive to sounds of a certain frequency. When I hear them it hertz.
- With all Gillette drama said and done I guess it really wasn't meant for sensitive skin
- Did you hear about the sensitive robber? He takes things personally.
- My extra sensitive toothpaste ... doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.
- Have you heard about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally.
- Circumcision is a sensitive subject... ...but not as sensitive as it used to be.
- Why are burglars so sensitive? Because they take things personally
- Don't read this if you don't like sensitive topics Biting into an ice cream
- I always feel bad using a new toothpaste In front of my extra sensitive one.
- How is your password like an emotional family court judge? They're both case sensitive.
- Never disappear. They're very sensitive fruits.
- How do you know if your teeth are sensitive? When you hurt their fillings
- Why was the one keyboard whispering to the other keyboard? It was case sensitive
- I like my women the same way I like my guns... Black and oily with a sensitive trigger.
Sensitive Person Jokes
Here is a list of funny sensitive person jokes and even better sensitive person puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm the most sensitive person you know my cursor goes from side to side in one slide of a finger

Silly & Ridiculous Sensitive Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about sensitive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tender jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sensitive pranks.
Q:How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking?
A:He's nursing a Mike's Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay!
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly.
The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the most sensitive part of a man's body during m**...?
His ear.
I don't know why my employees are so upset; I try to be sensitive with my criticism.
I like to give out gluten-free compliment sandwiches.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.....
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.
He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.... "Why are you down here at this time of night!?"
The husband looks up from his drink, "It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met."
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 15," he said solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses....... The words were not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, Either you marry my daughter or I will make sure you spend the next 20 years in prison?"
"I remember that, too" she replied softly...
He sighed as he wiped another tear away from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out today."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jumper
On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.
The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit s**...," she says.
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you are wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl".
The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!
One I wrote a while ago: Anti-Boasting Cream
Now I don't tell many jokes and definitely don't write them so I found this on my phone from about two years ago and was amazed!
I went to see the Doctor this morning about my big ego. He told me to try this anti-boasting cream.
I said, how do I apply it? It's just i've got really soft, sensitive, supple skin. He said, You just have to rub it in.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mike Tyson is a passionate, sensitive man, who cries after making love.
...because of the mace.
Why is it so difficult for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good looking?
All of those guys already have boyfriends.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone's so sensitive these days, you can't even say 'black paint'.
You have to say 'Tyrone, paint that fence!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend is a prison warden currently doing sensitivity training. His homework entails "What would you do if you saw two curious inmates indulging in i**...? "
I said "Why can't we just let bi-cons be bi-cons?!"
What's the most sensitive protein?
EMOglobin.
My stepdad hates it when I call him Bernie...
He's really sensitive a about his scars...
Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive?
He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve.
My take on microaggressions: on one hand, it's true people can sometimes be too sensitive. On the other hand...
NOT EVERYONE HAS TWO HANDS CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Washington r**... are very sensitive to concerns and have decided to change their name...
...to the DC d**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he's m**...?
His ears.
Oooo! I get to say it! "Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!" Oh yea, and "RIP my inbox"
Good times!
Guy bursts into a dentist's office
Guy bursts into a dentist's office and says "HEY, listen here buddy, you have to help me NOW: my teeth are SO sensitive they can sense impending EARTHQUAKES" the dentist looked at him sternly for a moment and said "you've got some nerve"
Got beaten to a pulp by a sensitive cyclops
All I said was "What's up, Big Guy?"
Had to Return the Sensitive Toothpaste I bought yesterday...
It couldnt take a joke!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Society is so sensitive these days. I can't even say "black paint" anymore without being called racist....
I now have to say "Tyrone, could you paint the wall please."
What's the similarity to Group A streptococci and feminists?
They're sensitive to everything
I've been getting really sensitive teeth recently...
The dentist told me I wasn't taking care of them properly and they've been inconsolable ever since.
Doctors are advising people who are very sensitive to the cold to go stand in a corner.
Because as you know, corners are always 90 degrees
Stolen from Who's Line Is It Anyway
A coworker and myself had a competition to see who was more sensitive
I was pretty sad I came in second place.
Why the different branches of the military can't work together:
The reason why the services don't get along? They don't speak the same language. For example, if you tell a soldier to "Secure the building." he's going to set up claymores and machine gun nests with interlocking fields of fire. If you tell a Marine to "Secure the building." he's going to pie every room with his rifle in his hands and his Ka-bar on his waist. If you tell a sailor to "Secure the building." he's going to lock all the doors and windows and put all the sensitive documents in a furnace. If you tell an airman to "Secure the building." he's going to sign a lease agreement with an option to purchase.
What is it called when sensitive medical information about a very fat patient is disclosed?
A hippo violation
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Genders are like the twin tower
There used to be 2 of them, but now it is a sensitive topic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the most sensitive part of your body while pleasuring yourself?
Your ear listening for foot steps.
Your cat died
A woman went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra special care of her cat.The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.
Her husband said: The cat just died.
She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually! Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night. You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?
Husband: She is playing on the roof.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Talking about Genders is a lot like the World Trade centers.
There were 2 of them now it's a sensitive subject.
Why did the user slam his satchel on the password's toes?
He wanted to know if it was case sensitive.
My dentist said that my gag reflex was much more sensitive than my wife's.
I didn't think anything of it at the time. Later, I realized it was super weird, because we go to different dentists.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People are so sensitive nowadays that you can't say "Could you paint the fence black?"
Now you have to say "Jamal, would you kindly paint the fence?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm very sensitive so I always go after the h**... dominatrixes when trying to get laid on Tinder
Being rejected hurts less
Three blokes were working on a high rise building project...
Macca, Chook and Simmo. Chook falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Simmo says, "someone should go and tell his wife."
Macca says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, so I'll do it."
Two hours later, Macca comes back carrying a case of beer. Simmo says, "where did you get that, Macca?"
"Chook's missus gave it to me". Simmo says, "that's unbelievable - you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
Macca says, "well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, you must be Chook's widow. She said, no, I'm not a widow."
And I said, "you wanna bet me a case?"
I was sent home early today.
Apparently, asking a dwarf why he isn't wearing his leprechaun costume was offensive. I have to do 3 hours of sensitivity training.
What is the Most Sensitive part of Insects?
Beez Nuts.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a sensitive subject.
But now when you make jokes about botox, nobody lifts an eyebrow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you heard of the new republican themed c**... that is taking off?
It's extremely thin skinned and very sensitive
i've only showed my sensitive side once
and that was when i slowed down for a horse
So my coworkers and I were sent to "sensitivity training"
The lady running it said, "you have to use the right words to refer to people, because you don't want to offend them. Instead of 'policeman', say 'police officer'. Instead of 'fireman' say 'firefighter'. Don't say 'chairman', say 'chairperson'."
"Um, excuse me," I said, "I think they prefer to be called people with disabilities'."
I'm trying to learn how to be a more sensitive lover.
I watched a video called "How to improve your foreplay technique", it was really good.
I had to skip through the boring bit at the beginning.
This one is really sensitive...
Emo's
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between John Brennan and a Nevada h**...?
Brennan can no longer legally handle sensitive material
Bought some extra sensitive toothpaste the other day...
It got really jealous when I used a different toothpaste this morning
"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.
"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."
The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.
"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.
I called a girl sensitive
And she cried
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some people are a lot like n**....
Too sensitive!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People are so sensitive these days. You can't even say "Black Paint" anymore...
You have to say "Jacquis, can you please paint the wall?"
What do you call sensitive rappers?
Real bawlers
What do gender identities and the twin towers have in common?
...
There used to be two of them, and not everyone is REAL SENSITIVE about it
A lot of people are upset about that Gillette commercial
I guess it wasn't made for people with sensitive skin.
The dentist asked me if I had sensitive toothpaste at home.
I told her toothpaste and I don't talk about our feelings.
(PS: This was the actual conversation I had with my dentist just last night!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As for a non-Dad joke....not for sensitive types
A woman runs into a police station yelling "Grape! Grape! Grape!"
The policeman says "Don't you mean r**...?"
"No" she replied, "There were a bunch of them".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blind, deaf and mute people can all tolerate a dark joke.
It's because they're not sensitive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I called my son a b**... disappointment and my girlfriend burst out into tears
Appartently, she's sensitive about her miscarriage
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. The most beautiful woman he has ever seen answers, dressed in only a slinky negligee. She asks "Do you like what you see?" Slack jawed, the man finally manages to stutter "uh... yes, very much!"
She says "Quickly, step inside, I think I hear someone coming."
Once inside the beautiful woman drops her negligee and is completely n**.... With a smile she asks "What do you think is the most sensitive part of my body?"
The salesman says "I guess that would have to be your ears."
"My ears? On this luscious body, you think my ears are the most sensitive?"
"Well, yes. When you said you heard somebody coming, that was me!"
My wife and I decided to stop having kids...
I haven't bought condoms in a while and I was surprised of find a years supply for such a reasonable price.
Pack of 3 for $3.69. Super-sensitive too.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
My girlfriend invited me to meet her parents.
Before we went over, she let me know that her father, Dale, was in a car accident and had his legs amputated at the hips. Apparently, it was a sensitive issue, and I was not to mention it.
When we arrived, her dad greeted us at the door. Not seeing his wife anywhere, I said to him, Dale, it's great to meet you. Is your other half in the kitchen?
Ooops
A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
I didn't see the end of that one coming....Bwaahaa!

