Senator Jokes
66 senator jokes and hilarious senator puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about senator that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laughing at the latest jokes from the Ottawa Senators and other congressional members from both sides of the aisle. Get ready to hear some of the most hilarious and surprisingly witty one-liners from Republican and Democratic lawmakers. Discover why the moderator made the best laugh of all!
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- Short Senator Jokes
- Senator One Liners
- Democratic Senator Jokes
- Senator Ted Jokes
- Ottawa Senator Jokes
- More Senator Jokes
Funniest Senator Short Jokes
Short senator jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The senator humour may include short senate jokes also.
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- What's the male version of a Karen called? I don't know but a group of them is called a Senate.
- A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you... A: Have lunch.
B: Browse reddit. - Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
- BREAKING: The US Senate has unanimously approved a bill that would make Daylight Savings Time permanent! If you ask me, it's about time!
- A Cuban, a Canadian, and a white supremacist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Ah, Senator Cruz, what are you having?"
- Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the senate... They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.
- You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.
- It may not be "politically correct" to say this... ...but there are over one million U.S Senators.
- I really don't think Roy Moore will win the Alabama Senate election. He'll probably come in a little behind.
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Senator One Liners
Which senator one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with senator? I can suggest the ones about politician and congressman.
- What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50? A senator.
- Roses are red Congress is red
The Senate is red
The White House is red
welp - Where does Senator Josh Hawley do his shopping? At the flee market.
- The US Senate walks into a bar And lowers it
- 3 months ago, Senator McConnell took my rabbit. Mitch better have my bunny.
- A dog runs for senator... He has no previous experience in pawlitics
- What do you call an incompetent lawyer? Senator
- What do you call a man who molests little girls? Alabama's next senator.
- Jeb Bush Unanimously Confirmed by Senate for Secretary of Low Energy.
- Why didn't Alexa run for Senate? Because she likes being Speaker of the House.
- Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A: Senator.
- What do you call a corrupt lawyer? Senator.
- What did the Senate have to say about the new stimulus package? Let them eat cake!
- What did Jeff Sessions say at the Senate hearing? I can't recall
- What did the Senate say to Julius Caesar? You've got a lot of Gaul!
Democratic Senator Jokes
Here is a list of funny democratic senator jokes and even better democratic senator puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination . This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.
- Did you guys hear about the Alabama senate race? So far the Democrat leads by 8 points. If the lead goes into the 12-14 range, Roy Moore might want to date it.
- "By 2040, 70% of Americans will live in 15 states, which means that 30% of Americans will elect 70 of the 100 senators." America is Democratic.
Senator Ted Jokes
Here is a list of funny senator ted jokes and even better senator ted puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was Ted Kennedy called the "Lion of the Senate"? Because he mated at will and killed without remorse.
- If Ted Cruz loses, senators will throw a bipartisan going-away party. Ted Cruz will be the only senator not invited.
- Senator Ted Cruz started debating someone at a costume party... He was a lion at the costume party.
- I'm the most hated person in the Senate Ted Cruz: I'm the most hated person in the Senate.
Susan Collins: Hold my beer.
Brett Kavanaugh: Who said beer?
Twitter repost @Amanda_Kerri
Ottawa Senator Jokes
Here is a list of funny ottawa senator jokes and even better ottawa senator puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is the first thing an Ottawa Senator does after winning the Stanley Cup? Turn off his Xbox.
Playful Senator Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about senator you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean president jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make senator pranks.
Smith & Wesson Joke
A customer came in to where I work told me this one. Thought I'd share:
Have you heard Smith & Wesson is making a pair of revolvers to commemorate the government shutdown? They will be called The Congressman and The Senator respectively. They don't actually do anything and you can't fire them.
What do you call a guy stuck in the same job for 30 years?
A four term US senator.
Why did the Senator get on Viagara?
He wanted to achieve e**... reform.
A Cuban, a Canadian, and a homophobic walk into a bar
The bartender says, "What'll it be, Senator Cruz?"
I hope that Senator Franken runs for President in 2020 and picks Jill Stein as his running mate
That'd be a real Franken/Stein ticket
It is said that Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator.
Nothing was ever passed, he always voted neigh.
What do senators order at Dairy Queen?
A Filibuster Parfait
Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him?
A sick Bern.
What's the difference between an encyclopedia and a Republican senator?
The encyclopedia has a spine.
(Apologies to Senators Collins and Murkowski)
Senator John McCain is Pro-Mexican Deportation and Pro-Trump Wall.
He hates the Mexicans because of what they did to him and his men at the Alamo.
Senator Al Franken introduces a new hoppy flavor of energy drink with a thick foamy head.
However, it seems no one likes Franken's Stein Monster.
What do you call a creepy old guy who hangs out at malls, and has s**... with under age teens?
In Alabama, your Honor, but soon it will be "Senator".
Looking for a cheap gift this holiday season?
Why not buy a senator???
So the government shut down...
I saw my senator with a sign that said, "Will lie, cheat, and steal for food."
Or
now my senator has to lie, cheat, and steal for free.
Or
so will my senator stop lying, cheating, and stealing?
Take your pick or insert your parasite of choice. And don't forget to tip your waitresses.
Senator Duckworth might become the first senator to give birth in office
I don't know why she wouldn't rather do it in the hospital though
Senator Tim Kaine is basically an overwatch champion.
even CNN refers to him as D-VA
Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don't pay for your services?
Zuckerberg: 1010011010 .......Ahem
Zuckerberg: Senator, we run ads
One day, in Ancient Rome
A senator was late to the Senate, when Cicero was giving a speech. He got there fifteen minutes after the start.
He slipped into his usual seat and whispered to the senator next to him: "What Cicero is talking about?"
His neighbor said: "I don't know, he hasn't got to the verb yet!"
A robber corners a well-dressed man in an alleyway...
Take out your wallet and give me all your money! The robber says, holding a gun to the man's chest.
You can't do this! says the well-dressed man. I'm a senator in the U.S. Congress!
The robber doesn't lower his gun and replies:
Well in that case, take out your wallet and give me all MY money!
In the 2001 film "The Planet of the Apes" David Warner plays a primate named Senator Sandar
which means the whole planet is probably a Banana Republic
What do you call a black Roman senator?
Niggus
Next week in Baton Rouge...
Well hello good people of Louisiana! The name is Beteaux, and I want to be YOUR Senator!
Roman Emperor Caligula actually made his favorite horse a senator.
Guy didn't pass a single motion.
Senator: You said Facebook has cookies correct?
Zucc: Yes Senator that is correct, Facebook does use cookies.
Senator: Where can I get some of those cookies and how are they made?
Zucc: I'm sorry senator I don't know wha...
Senator: *repeats question but LOUDER*
Zucc: Senator I...
What does Senator Graham use for l**...?
Lindsay Oil.
An alien drops by the White House and exclaims: "take me to your leader". The alien is introduced to Donald Trump, who ushers it into the oval office to chat. 30 seconds later, the alien exits the room and walks back towards his ship.....
"Where are you going?! Our worlds have so much to discuss and learn from one another!" calls a Senator.
"You are right!" responds the alien.
"See you on Thursday!"
What do you call a new mitten manufacturing company formed by a U.S. senator?
Bernie's Handers.
A roman soldier was guarding a crossroads when Senator Churry approached.
"Do you know the way to the Coliseum?", asked Churry.
The soldier pointed straight ahead.
After that, the Roman sent Churry on.
I heard U.S. Senator Herb Kohl once wrote a bill that would standardize the ratios of carrots, mayonnaise, and cabbage in his favorite side dish.
He called it Kohl's Law.
The capital police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the congressional riot?" The officer responded, "I'd like to question the senator wearing high heels and a spandex leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...
"Please, just wear your police uniform."
