Senate Jokes
74 senate jokes and hilarious senate puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about senate that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Senate Short Jokes
Short senate jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The senate humour may include short senator jokes also.
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- A Republican Senator and a Democratic Senator are drowning and you can only save one. Do you... A: Have lunch.
B: Browse reddit. - Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
- BREAKING: The US Senate has unanimously approved a bill that would make Daylight Savings Time permanent! If you ask me, it's about time!
- A Cuban, a Canadian, and a white supremacist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Ah, Senator Cruz, what are you having?"
- Congress has finally made a decision and just announced that if Roy Moore wins the senate... They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.
- You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky.
- It may not be "politically correct" to say this... ...but there are over one million U.S Senators.
- I really don't think Roy Moore will win the Alabama Senate election. He'll probably come in a little behind.
- Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don't pay for your services? Zuckerberg: 1010011010 .......Ahem
Zuckerberg: Senator, we run ads
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Senate One Liners
Which senate one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with senate? I can suggest the ones about congress and supreme court.
- Roses are red Congress is red
The Senate is red
The White House is red
welp - Where does Senator Josh Hawley do his shopping? At the flee market.
- The US Senate walks into a bar And lowers it
- 3 months ago, Senator McConnell took my rabbit. Mitch better have my bunny.
- A dog runs for senator... He has no previous experience in pawlitics
- Jeb Bush Unanimously Confirmed by Senate for Secretary of Low Energy.
- Why didn't Alexa run for Senate? Because she likes being Speaker of the House.
- Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad? A: Senator.
- What did the Senate have to say about the new stimulus package? Let them eat cake!
- What did Jeff Sessions say at the Senate hearing? I can't recall
- What did the Senate say to Julius Caesar? You've got a lot of Gaul!
- Office hours of the Senate are from twelve to one... with an hour off for lunch.
- How many Republican candidates does it take to lose a Senate race in Alabama? One Moore.
- What kind of parasite do Senators have? Poli-ticks.
- What do you call a guy stuck in the same job for 30 years? A four term US senator.
Senate Election Jokes
Here is a list of funny senate election jokes and even better senate election puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Alabama Senate elections are in! And even though it was tight, Roy Moore came in a little behind.
- In a historic day for Canada, Ontario held a Provincial Election on the same day the Senate passed the Cannabis Legalization Act. Turnout was high.
- "By 2040, 70% of Americans will live in 15 states, which means that 30% of Americans will elect 70 of the 100 senators." America is Democratic.
Senate Seat Jokes
Here is a list of funny senate seat jokes and even better senate seat puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Dems haven't won a senate seat in Alabama since 1992 Unlike Roy Moore, they were capable of waiting 25 years.
- A SEAT IS OPEN FOR SENATE Your past.
Cheeky Senate Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about senate you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean committee jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make senate pranks.
What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?
"Ecru, Brute?"
Senate Republicans cancelled the vote on abortion restrictions. Does this mean they're going to try Plan B?
The Horses decided to form a Senate to govern themselves...
But they could never get anything done. "All in favor, say Yay. All opposed, say neigh."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man stood outside the senate yelling: "The government is s**...!"
He got 10 years in prison for revealing national secrets.
Senate: Red House: Red Supreme Court: Red
President: Orange
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Women belong in the house...
...and the senate too
Breaking News: Coup Underway - Trump takes control of senate and declares martial law!
Oh wait... That was Palpatine.
False alarm.
Mike Pence is Emperor Palpatine
Both are old men, heads of the Senate, and like to shock people.
I was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving.
When brought before the judge, I was asked if I knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was. I said, "I don't know... reelection to the Senate?"
The entire US Senate visited the White House today.
I wonder how many short buses that took.
It hasn't even made it through the senate...
And Bronx-Lebanon Hospital is already rolling out Trumpcare.
What would have they called Hillary Clinton in the senate of the ancient Roman Republic ?
Hilarious...!
Kid Rock announced he won't be running for the Republican Michigan Senate nomination .
This come as a great relief to Democratic challenger Kid Scissors.
Why was Ted Kennedy called the "Lion of the Senate"?
Because he mated at will and killed without remorse.
Roy Moore isn't too concerned about his chances in the Senate race...
...he says it's just a minor problem.
Did you guys hear about the Alabama senate race? So far the Democrat leads by 8 points.
If the lead goes into the 12-14 range, Roy Moore might want to date it.
Roy Moore has quit the Alabama senate race.
He's opening a Comet Ping-Pong franchise.
Upon learning that the National Mall isn't really a mall
Roy Moore dropped out of Alabama senate race
Doug Jones just won the Senate race against Roy Moore
I guess you could say he got Moore votes.
What's the difference between a 13 year old and the Senate?
After tonight, Roy Moore won't be in the Senate.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC, and we're doing a story on people who solicit teenagers for s**.... If you have anything you'd like to add to this conversation, go ahead. Otherwise you're free to go.
Yeah, actually, if you could vote for me in the Alabama senate race that would be awesome.
Roy Moore has failed in his attempt to challenge the Alabama Senate result
It's almost as if he doesn't know what the word "no" means.
One day, in Ancient Rome
A senator was late to the Senate, when Cicero was giving a speech. He got there fifteen minutes after the start.
He slipped into his usual seat and whispered to the senator next to him: "What Cicero is talking about?"
His neighbor said: "I don't know, he hasn't got to the verb yet!"
Want to know why I love the Roman Empire?
Want to know why I love the Roman Empire?
It has the best Senate money can buy.
Why does the US Senate have Hearings?
Because it can't be called Listening.
I'm the most hated person in the Senate
Ted Cruz: I'm the most hated person in the Senate.
Susan Collins: Hold my beer.
Brett Kavanaugh: Who said beer?
Twitter repost @Amanda_Kerri
Why are horses smarter than the U.S. Senate?
Because Kavanaugh would get a Nay...
If I had one word to describe the Senate race, I would say...
white
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Since Beto O'Rourke finished second in the Senate race...
...wouldn't that make him Beta O'Rourke?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the male version of a Karen called?
I don't know but a group of them is called a Senate.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The U.S. Senate held a vote to make lobbying i**...
To everyone's surprise, it was a unanimous no
Anybody know someone that wants to buy letter openers, staplers, pens, and other office supplies?
Most of it is labeled with Capital Hill or U.S. Senate but it's all usable. Let me know! Thanks.
In the end, Trump cost Republicans the Presidency, the Senate, and the House
He actually did it.. he made America great again!
What is the similarity between Julius Caesar and Tifa Lockhart?
Both of them were witnessed getting impaled in the Italian senate...
So apparently the Senate just passed a bill to make Daylight Savings Time permanent
Most people are excited about the change, but I think if it passes the House it'll be hour loss.
Lindsey Graham gets new suit
On a Senate trip to Japan, Lindsey Graham picked up some silk to have a custom suit made. At a top notch tailor shop in South Carolina, the tailor said with the material, he could make a single breasted suit.
Graham decided to wait, took the material to a tailor in New York who told him he could make a double breasted suit, a vest, and an extra pair of pants.
He asked, "How can you do so much more with this material than the tailor in South Carolina?"
"Well, senator, I guess you're not as big up here."
You meet a vegan pilot that's running for senate that went to Havard and does crossfit. What's the first thing they tell you?
"I use Arch btw"
