Semi Final Jokes

19 semi final jokes and hilarious semi final puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about semi final that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Semi Final Short Jokes

Short semi final jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The semi final humour may include short quarter finals jokes also.

  1. I bought tickets to the world cup semi-finals and forgot I'm getting married that day So is anyone here willing to get married that day?
  2. I got the chance to watch a women's final for beach volleyball last night... What a semi!!
  3. Classic An Englishman and an Irish man walk into a bar...
    ...they were watching Wales get through to the semi final.
  4. How Bama Fans Watched The Semi Finals 2018 I thought this was funny enough to share. Rolltide!

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Semi Final One Liners

Which semi final one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with semi final? I can suggest the ones about finale and finals week.

  1. Went to my daughters netball finals the other day. What a semi.
  2. I'll have to admit; I'm an anti semi. Because I dread the finals.
  3. I went to my teenage daughters netball finals last weekend What a semi ;)

Charming Humor Semi Final Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about semi final you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean football final jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make semi final pranks.

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big e**... and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"

What is green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on to you from a tree in the jungle?

A snooker table. (Courtesy of Leigh Hart on the Alternative Commentary Collective during the New Zealand v South Africa Cricket World Cup semi-final)

Eastern European Charade

I am stuck between Russia and Poland.
I am getting hit very violently.
Yellow is one of my two colors.
What am I ?
**A tennis ball in Dubai Semi Final**

A man went on a semi-guided hunting trip in the remote wilderness.

Before setting off on the first day the guide instructed him to shoot three times into the air if he should get lost. Sure enough, the man the man became lost and did as instructed. Nobody came. This continued over the course of the next four days. Finally, on the fifth day a search party located the lost man and just in the nick of time as he only had one arrow left.

I've had a good couple of days,

I've just got back from winning the World Domestic Violence Championship.
I knocked my daughter out in the semis and beat my wife in the final.
Yesterday I entered the world blindfolded w**... championship.
I have no idea where I came though.

[True Story]: I was following a semi-truck full of coffins...

I tried to get as close as possible to read the bumper sticker on the back. When I could finally see the writing, it read "Drive safely. Yours may be on this load."

Sunday, March 4, 2017:

World Chess Championship. The hotel hosts a gala event with food and drink in the hotel lobby. The semi finalists are mingling. The final two are bragging about their respective stratagems for the final match. The desk clerk asks them to hang around. Because we all love to hear.... Two Chess nuts, boasting in an open foyer.

Three Nuns

Three nuns are walking down a street when they get hit by a drunk driver in a semi truck; dead on impact. Now they are waiting at the gate to be let into heaven. They are told they each have to answer one question correctly to be let in. If they answer wrong, they go straight to h**.... The first nun is asked what was the name or the first woman. She says Eve; bells ring and the gate opens. The second nun is asked what was the name of the first man. She answers Adam, and she is allowed to enter. The final nun was asked the first thing Eve said to Adam. So sits and thinks for twenty minutes or so before finally giving up and saying "That's a hard one." The bells ring and the gate opens.

One American Soldier

My apologies if this has been told here already (I haven't found it yet). A military buddy of mine told me this when he got back home:
One day during the Gulf War, an Iraqi general and his army were patrolling through semi-mountainous terrain. Suddenly, over one of the hills they hear a soldier.
"One American soldier can take out 10 Iraqi soldiers!"
The Iraqi general smirks, then sends 10 of his soldiers over the hill. A brief firefight ensues, and then everything goes quiet...
"One American soldier can take out 100 Iraqi soldiers!"
The Iraqi general is rightfully impressed, so he laughs and sends 100 of his soldiers over the hill to finish the job. A large battle is heard over the hill that lasts much longer than the previous fight. Finally, everything calms down...
"One American soldier can take out 1000 Iraqi soldiers!"
The Iraqi general is furious, and sends over 1000 of his best soldiers. A massive and lengthy battle takes place over the hill. During the fight, a wounded Iraqi soldier comes crawling back over the hill toward the general.
"Sir! Do not send any more men! It's a trap! THERE'S TWO OF THEM!!"