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Semester Jokes

61 semester jokes and hilarious semester puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about semester that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh as you make it through the semester with these end-of-semester jokes! From academic stress to college dorms to starting a new semester, these jokes offer the perfect dose of comic relief for high school and college students alike.

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Funniest Semester Short Jokes

Short semester jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The semester humour may include short season jokes also.

  1. A feminist told me I really need to take a Women's Studies class. I told her "There is no way I'm going to spend a semester studying a broad."
  2. I signed up for Binary 101 this semester and I'm failing in all the exams. Turns out it is a level 5 course.
  3. My teacher told me if I slept with her I'd get an A for the semester. I love being homeschooled
  4. I wanted to be a gynecologist, but I failed medical school in the last semester. I was so close I could taste it.
  5. How many Alabama football players does it take to change a light bulb? The entire team, and they all get a semester's credit for it.
  6. I learned a lot of Mandarin in just one semester! Though I could have sworn the syllabus said "Calculus 2".
  7. I'm so proud of my son who just finished his first semester of college in Canada. He got straight eh's.
  8. With a heavy load this semester, a student is under great pressure to maintain a 4.0 GPa That's 400000000 Pa, and that's a lot of pressure.
  9. Nic Cage was a straight A highschool student but he slacked off one semester.
    When he got his report card, he shouted "Bs! Not the Bs!"
  10. Talking about school grades with your parents like... Parents: Got any A's this semester?
    Me: Go fish.

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Semester One Liners

Which semester one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with semester? I can suggest the ones about semi and thesis.

  1. My friend is majoring in Gender Studies. He's been a broad for the past semester.
  2. I studied abroad the first semester of my junior year Then she closed her blinds
  3. Last semester I had an English teacher names Mrs. Gaye She was a huge homophone.
  4. I have my end semester exam tomorrow The joke is that I couldn't get into college
  5. I'll be getting a 4.0 this semester... When a girl rates me out of 10
  6. What's the difference between mayonnaise and aioli? Aioli did a semester abroad
  7. Hey dad can you pass the salt? I don't know son, can you pass the semester?
  8. You can call me Ariel after this semester... Because my grades are under the C.
  9. I took a semester of female anatomy classes in Spain... I studied abroad
  10. Why did Bruce Jenner go back to college? So he could spend a semester a broad.
  11. Only 3 days left... Until the end of my semester and I'm failing 3 classes
  12. I'm stoked to have my final college test of the semester tomorrow! Wish me merry Xams!
  13. Parents: Got any A's this semester Me: Go Fish
  14. "Your GPA last semester was a 4.0" \- Steve Harvey
  15. Music schools in 1943 Germany This semester is didgeridoos and killing Jews

College Semester Jokes

Here is a list of funny college semester jokes and even better college semester puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I miss the days when I could just do crazy things. Like once I went an entire semester only wearing clothes I made out of notebook paper. College ruled.
  • I'm a senior in college with 2 semesters left, and I'm considering picking up a minor Do I lie about my age, or do I just offer to buy her cigarettes and booze?
  • I decided to be chivalrous during my first semester of college by offering a girl my umbrella in the rain I've been here a month and I've made -1 girls wet.

End Of Semester Jokes

Here is a list of funny end of semester jokes and even better end of semester puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I heard the band Europe wrote a song about the days leading to the end-of-semester exams. It was the finals countdown.
    :D
  • What do you call it when Marvel gives an end-of-the-semester test on items we drink out of? The Stan Lee Cup Finals
Semester joke, What do you call it when Marvel gives an end-of-the-semester test on items we drink out of?

Semester joke, What do you call it when Marvel gives an end-of-the-semester test on items we drink out of?

Comical Semester Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about semester you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make semester pranks.

It's the first day for a fraternity...

It's the first day for a fraternity, and the dean is explaining the rules to the new pledges. He sternly advises them, And I must warn you of the curfew for this semester. If I catch any of you in the women's dorms past eight o'clock at night, it's fifty dollars for the first time, a hundred dollars for the second time, and five hundred dollars for the third time.
One pledge raises his hand and asks, How much for a season pass?

So a college teacher is talking to his male students...

"Access to the women's dorms is strictly prohibited. If someone is caught there for the first time, they will suffer a fine of 100 dollars. The second offence will involve a 300 dollar fine. Getting caught there for the third time will cost you a hefty fine of 500 dollars."
Suddenly, a student in the back raises his hand and asks:
"How much for a semester pass?"

Did you hear about the guy who didn't buy his school books until the middle of the semester?

He's a textbook procrastinator

Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester...

I just had too much on my plate.

An attractive student goes up to her young professor...

and she says to him "I want an A for this semester!"
He says "No."
She then says "Please... I will do *anything* to get an A..."
The professor's expression softens. "Anything...?"
The student nods.
The professor says "So would you like to... study?"

Why did the Chemistry teacher give every student Sodium Hydroxide at the beginning of every semester?

So they'd have a strong base for their lessons

I'm a law student who's doing an IT subject this semester...

and i've been asked whether I know Jake Weary over four times now! Who the heck is he?

So I'm thinking about taking PSY 312 (reverse psychology) next semester...

My advisors said I shouldn't, but I think I'm going to now

You get the most from a Women's Studies degree when you...

...spend a semester studying abroad.

Signing up for Marine biology this semester was disappointing.

I never learned what's going on in Le Pen's head.

I would have gotten As in all my classes last semester if it weren't for Genetics

Why do I have to have such idiots for parents

You can now major in m**... at some universities

Guess grades are going to be a little higher this semester!

"You need to work twice harder than last semester!" - my teacher

And then i said, "but zero times two equals to 0 teacher"

Why didn't Clark come to the class

Alice: Hey, why didn't Clark come to the evening class yesterday? It was our first class in this semester...
Bob: I don't think he's very fond of crypto nights.

A young boy is doing poorly in math at public school. His mother decides to send him to private school to rectify the situation. Lo and behold, after a semester in the new private Catholic school, the boy's grades were straight A's, even in math!

Surprised, his mother asked him how he liked his new school. "Oh, it's all right, I guess," he replies. "They must be teaching you some new tricks!" "Not really." "Then what do you think is making the difference in your grades?" "Well", he says, "as soon as I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!

When a lonely frog consults a fortune-teller

he's told not to worry. "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl," she says, "and she will want to know everything about you."
"That's great!" says the excited frog.
"When will I meet her?"
"Next semester," says the psychic, "in biology class."

A beautiful female student was in danger of flunking her middle-aged male professor's course

It was near the end of the semester and she came to class in a short skirt and low-cut top. After the other students left the classroom she approached the prof.
"You know, I'd do *anything* to pass this class," she said flirtatiously.
The professor lowered his voice and looked down his bifocals. "Really?" he said, "Anything?"
"Yes," she said seductively. "Anything."
The professor drew near and whispered in her ear. "Would you . . . study?"

Semester joke, A beautiful female student was in danger of flunking her middle-aged male professor's course

jokes about semester