The Best 45 Semester Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Semester jokes. There are some semester contraction jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these semester school puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Semester Jokes and Puns

It's the first day for a fraternity...

It's the first day for a fraternity, and the dean is explaining the rules to the new pledges. He sternly advises them, And I must warn you of the curfew for this semester. If I catch any of you in the women's dorms past eight o'clock at night, it's fifty dollars for the first time, a hundred dollars for the second time, and five hundred dollars for the third time.

One pledge raises his hand and asks, How much for a season pass?

Last semester I had an English teacher names Mrs. Gaye

She was a huge homophone.

My friend is majoring in Gender Studies.

He's been a broad for the past semester.

I wanted to be a gynecologist, but I failed medical school in the last semester.

I was so close I could taste it.

jokes about semester

Did you hear about the guy who didn't buy his school books until the middle of the semester?

He's a textbook procrastinator

A feminist told me I really need to take a Women's Studies class.

I told her "There is no way I'm going to spend a semester studying a broad."

I'll be getting a 4.0 this semester...

When a girl rates me out of 10

Semester joke, I'll be getting a 4.0 this semester...

Talking about school grades with your parents like...

Parents: Got any A's this semester?

Me: Go fish.

Nic Cage was a straight A highschool student

but he slacked off one semester.

When he got his report card, he shouted "Bs! Not the Bs!"

Why did Bruce Jenner go back to college?

So he could spend a semester a broad.

I studied abroad the first semester of my junior year

Then she closed her blinds

You can explore semester academic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean semester freshman dad jokes. There are also semester puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I decided to be chivalrous during my first semester of college by offering a girl my umbrella in the rain

I've been here a month and I've made -1 girls wet.

I learned a lot of Mandarin in just one semester!

Though I could have sworn the syllabus said "Calculus 2".

"Your GPA last semester was a 4.0"

\- Steve Harvey

My old physics professor: Times flies when you're having fun,

Or as frogs say, times fun when you're having flies...

That was a long semester

Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester...

I just had too much on my plate.

Semester joke, Couldn't get to the gym and gained a bit of belly fat this semester...

My buddy is doing a semester abroad.

I would be perfectly content doing a broad a semester.

An attractive student goes up to her young professor...

and she says to him "I want an A for this semester!"

He says "No."

She then says "Please... I will do *anything* to get an A..."

The professor's expression softens. "Anything...?"

The student nods.

The professor says "So would you like to... study?"

Why did the Chemistry teacher give every student Sodium Hydroxide at the beginning of every semester?

So they'd have a strong base for their lessons

I'm a law student who's doing an IT subject this semester...

and i've been asked whether I know Jake Weary over four times now! Who the heck is he?

So I'm thinking about taking PSY 312 (reverse psychology) next semester...

My advisors said I shouldn't, but I think I'm going to now

You get the most from a Women's Studies degree when you...

...spend a semester studying abroad.

My teacher told me if I slept with her I'd get an A for the semester.

I love being homeschooled

Signing up for Marine biology this semester was disappointing.

I never learned what's going on in Le Pen's head.

You can call me Ariel after this semester...

Because my grades are under the C.

Hey dad can you pass the salt?

I don't know son, can you pass the semester?

Semester joke, Hey dad can you pass the salt?

I would have gotten As in all my classes last semester if it weren't for Genetics

Why do I have to have such idiots for parents

You can now major in Marijuana at some universities

Guess grades are going to be a little higher this semester!

I took a semester of female anatomy classes in Spain...

I studied abroad

"You need to work twice harder than last semester!" - my teacher

And then i said, "but zero times two equals to 0 teacher"

Why didn't Clark come to the class

Alice: Hey, why didn't Clark come to the evening class yesterday? It was our first class in this semester...

Bob: I don't think he's very fond of crypto nights.

Parents: Got any A's this semester

Me: Go Fish

Why did the virgin decide to join the semester at sea program?

He wanted to study a broad!

I'm stoked to have my final college test of the semester tomorrow!

Wish me merry Xams!

I almost missed signing up for my second semester of Procrastination 101...

The class filled up at the last second.

Only 3 days left...

Until the end of my semester and I'm failing 3 classes

With a heavy load this semester, a student is under great pressure to maintain a 4.0 GPa

That's 400000000 Pa, and that's a lot of pressure.

What's the difference between mayonnaise and aioli?

Aioli did a semester abroad

I miss the days when I could just do crazy things. Like once I went an entire semester only wearing clothes I made out of notebook paper.

College ruled.

A young boy is doing poorly in math at public school. His mother decides to send him to private school to rectify the situation. Lo and behold, after a semester in the new private Catholic school, the boy's grades were straight A's, even in math!

Surprised, his mother asked him how he liked his new school. "Oh, it's all right, I guess," he replies. "They must be teaching you some new tricks!" "Not really." "Then what do you think is making the difference in your grades?" "Well", he says, "as soon as I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!

I signed up for Binary 101 this semester and I'm failing in all the exams.

Turns out it is a level 5 course.

I have my end semester exam tomorrow

The joke is that I couldn't get into college

I'm so proud of my son who just finished his first semester of college in Canada.

He got straight eh's.

When a lonely frog consults a fortune-teller

he's told not to worry. "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl," she says, "and she will want to know everything about you."

"That's great!" says the excited frog.

"When will I meet her?"

"Next semester," says the psychic, "in biology class."

A beautiful female student was in danger of flunking her middle-aged male professor's course

It was near the end of the semester and she came to class in a short skirt and low-cut top. After the other students left the classroom she approached the prof.

"You know, I'd do *anything* to pass this class," she said flirtatiously.

The professor lowered his voice and looked down his bifocals. "Really?" he said, "Anything?"

"Yes," she said seductively. "Anything."

The professor drew near and whispered in her ear. "Would you . . . study?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the semester tuition puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working semester scholarship piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes