selfhelp Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious selfhelp puns

I was depressed last night so I called a self-help phone line...

Got a call centre in Afghanistan, and told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck...

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(NSFW) They've finally published my self-help book about having sex with herbs

It's about fucking thyme.

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I went to a large bookstore ...

... and asked the lady at the counter, where the self-help section was. She said if she would tell me, it would defeat the very purpose of it.

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I bought 37 self-help books today...

I just couldn't help myself.

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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"

She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

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Went to the library and asked where the self-help books were.

Librarian refused to tell me. She said it would be defeating the purpose.

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How many self-help gurus does it take to change a lightbulb?

Before I can answer that question, I have to ask "is the lightbulb ready to change?"

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A man walks in to a bookstore and asks the clerk where the self-help section is.

The clerk responds: If I told you that, wouldn't it defeat the purpose?

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A guy walks into a bookstore and says to a clerk: excuse me could you tell me how to find the self-help section?

The clerk says: well I could, but wouldn't that defeat the purpose?'

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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"

She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

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I bought a self-help book on 'how to handle disappointment'

When I turned the pages, they were all blank.

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I always liked those "Chicken Soup" self-help books.

Did they ever write one for the vegan soul?

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I tried to offer my friend one of my self-help books...

...He said "It's not for me"

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I keep buying self-help books but I never read them. I don't know why I do it.

I just can't help myself.

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What are the best Selfhelp puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Selfhelp? Well, here are the best jokes about Selfhelp to have fun with.

Joko Jokes