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Selfconscious Jokes

17 selfconscious jokes and hilarious selfconscious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about selfconscious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Selfconscious Short Jokes

Short selfconscious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The selfconscious humour may include short crazy jokes also.

  1. I spotted my ex girlfriend on the other side of the museum hall, but I was too self-conscious to go say hello. There was just too much history between us.
  2. I used to be self-conscious that people could hear me when I used the bathroom. Then I became a psychiatrist. Now my pee is silent.
  3. Why was the hospital patient feeling so self-conscious? She overheard the doctors keep saying ICU.
  4. My wife is really self-conscious about how thick her eyebrows are I told her she's crazy; most women would kill for *half* her eyebrows
  5. I used to think I was an OK philosopher but I was pretty self-conscious about it... ...then I had a 2 month manic psychosis, so I guess I must have been doing it right after all.
  6. That's it! I'm saying it! I'm self-conscious!! And I don't care what anybody else thinks about it!
  7. [Thought of this joke today] What do you call a self-conscious Rent-a-Cop? An Insecurity Guard.
  8. "I always feel so self-conscious when I'm out in public," I told my girlfriend. "Don't worry, you aren't that ugly," she s**....
    I said, "No, but you are."

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Selfconscious One Liners

Which selfconscious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with selfconscious? I can suggest the ones about public and dates.

  1. Why was the protein self-conscious? Because of how much it wheys
  2. Why was the floppy disk self-conscious? Because it was FAT.
  3. What do you call an artificial intelligence that's shy? Self-conscious.
  4. What does a self-conscious vampire say? "I'm going to s**....."

Selfconscious joke, What does a self-conscious vampire say?

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Selfconscious Jokes

What funny jokes about selfconscious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean restroom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make selfconscious pranks.

I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...

On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had s**.... I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.

A man with a wooden eye...

A man with a wooden eye is very self-conscious about his looks but also very lonely.
At the advice of his doctor, he decides to go to a local meetup with people who have similar disabilities.
After a while of listening to the music and looking around at the ladies he builds up the courage to ask a lady to dance with him. He walks past a girl with one leg, passes a girl with no ears, and finally arrives in front of a sad looking girl with no nose.

"You wouldn't want to dance with me, would you?", he sheepishly asks the girl.

"Oh wouldn't I!? Wouldn't I?", she excitedly replies.

He point his finger at her face and yells "NO NOSE! NO NOSE!!"

Obvious, innit?

A guy was very self-conscious, because he'd been born without ears. Despite this, he'd become general manager at his company.
He was still self conscious though, so when interviewing people, he'd ask if they noticed anything about him, anything they could mention about him, and if people remarked on his lack of ears, they didn't make the grade.
His first couple of candidates had been rejected, and he was pleasantly surprised when the third candidate said he'd noticed he wears contact lenses.
"What made you realise?" he asked. "Easy," came the reply, "people with no ears don't wear glasses."

Selfconscious joke, Obvious, innit?