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Self Defence Jokes

9 self defence jokes and hilarious self defence puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about self defence that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


Self Defence Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good self defence joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

I attended a self-defence course.

At the end of it, the person that ran the course said, "Ok, buddy, so for the week you owe me...£380."
"I refuse to pay," I told him.
"You have to," he insisted.
"Well then, you'll have to fight me for it."
So we fought, and he absolutely battered me. Left me b**..., bruised and beaten.
He said, "£380. Cough it up."
"No," I told him, wiping my lip. "Because it was clearly a waste of money."

I recently completed a self defence course

I tell you what, the next person who attacks me in slow motion has a thing or two coming.

A martial arts expert is arrested for m**....

When the case is taken to court, he is asked by the judge why he doesn't have a lawyer with him.
'I don't need a lawyer', the martial arts expert replies.
'Why not? It could really help your case if you have a defense lawyer' the judge says.
'No, thank you', the martial arts expert replies again, 'I can do it by myself. After all I am a self defence expert'.

I've just got back from my new French self defence class

I'm absolutely exhausted. I've never run so much in my life.

Did you hear about the prisoner who escaped after dismantling his cell?

They say it was self defence.

I went to a self defence class last night and the instructor told me to "take him by surprise and attack him".

So when I saw him in Walmart the next day I threw a can of beans at his head.

I'm still tired after my first French self defence class.......

I've never run so much in my whole life.

until now, i have only killed one man, and it was in self defence

...it's not my fault his defence was lousy

I'm so tired after my first French self-defence lesson...

... I've never run so far in my life.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about self defence can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of self defence puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these self defence jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.