The Best 46 Seize Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Seize jokes. There are some seize grab jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these seize confiscate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Seize Jokes and Puns

Republicans hate communism

Republicans hate communism, except when they want to seize the means of reproduction.

Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary?

Cos I'd like you to seize control of my means of production.

How do you stop an Internet troll?

Seize their memes of production.

Seize joke, How do you stop an Internet troll?

Hey girl is your name Karl Marx?

Because I want to seize your means of production...

I didn't realise Trump had a communist streak, but...

His call for people of the world to seize the means of reproduction was rather stirring!


The FBI seize a collection of pirated movies.

The movies were Footloose, dirty dancing, ferris bueller's day off, ghost busters and the breakfast club.

As the pirate sees his beloved movies taken away from him, he cries

"ARGH! Me eighties!"

A communist proposes sex to his wife

He says "We must seize the means of reproduction!"

Seize joke, A communist proposes sex to his wife

How do you seize the means of production?

By overthrowing the bourgeoisie ☭

Why did the communist grab the fortune teller?

He wanted to seize the means of prediction.

To all you hilarious guys telling Ronda Rousey jokes today:

Seize your moment, gents!

Talk about a woman *and* look like the winner by comparison!

What does a socialist do when they don't want children?

They seize the means of reproduction...


You can explore seize memorabilia reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean seize bans dad jokes. There are also seize puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Stalin's political career didn't really take off, until he played the trump card

-Seize the means of reproduction!

The Soviet Union could have worked just fine, but the regime was dominated and swerved by political extremes

Next time we should seize the trimmed means of production.

Why are some Commies bad at stats?

They fail to seize the *mean*s of production.

It's time to act now

Let's stage a socialist takeover of Broadway and seize the means of productions!

I'm off to a communist speed dating night.

I'm hoping I can seize the means of seduction.

Seize joke, I'm off to a communist speed dating night.

CARPE DIEM! Seize the day is a great motto to live by...

Unless you have epilepsy.

The president is a closet communist

He likes to seize the means of reproduction.

What did the communist say when he wanted a Handjob?

What did the communist say when he wanted a Handjob?

"Seize the means of reproduction!"

If Karl Marx made a contraceptive company

Would it's slogan be seize the means of reproduction?

Why did the government seize Slim Shady's property?

It was emineminent domain.

What Happens When You Flash A Light at an Epileptic Communist?

They "seize" the means of production.

What's the worst thing about internet communists?

They spend all day trying to seize the memes of production.

What did Lenin say after ending the Russian Civil War ?

Seize fire !

Did you hear about the communist couple that went to a fertility clinic?

They wanted to seize the means of reproduction.

Why did Americans shoot a battalion of Russian mercs trying to seize an oil refinery in Syria?

Shooting invisible targets is cheaper than Putin paper targets.

Today, March 26th, is Epilepsy Awareness day.

So get on out there and seize the day!

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.

What did Antony say when he saw Cleopatra running away?

Seize her!

Carpe Dime

Seize the coin.

Why don't pirates have gluteal muscle spasms?

Because they already seize the booty!

Been working on better socializing my dog. Think I've done too well

All he wants to do is rise up and seize the means of pawduction.

I was dating a chick from the Soviet Union...

it was nice until she tried to seize my means of reproduction.

If they still existed, the Soviet government would have have been the world's lead producer of memes.

They needed to seize the memes of production.

What do you call that friend who will always seize the opportunity to run a Dungeons & Dragons game for your group?

A Carpe D.M

Why did Stalin round up all the women in the USSR?

To seize the means of reproduction

An epileptic has started waking himself each morning with flashing lights...

He says it's part of his new plan to seize the day.

Why do so many tyrants try to seize power?

Because when they heard: "Watt is the meaning of life", they didn't think it was a question.

Why did the grandpa have a seizure in the middle of a family gathering?

- Because he wanted to seize the day.

Carpe Diem is a great motto and all...

but if you seize everyday, you probably have epilepsy

What does a gen Z communist say?

Seize the memes of production!

What do you call the ban on same sex marriage?

Rainbow Sex Seize

Why are so many young people turning to socialism and communism?

Because then they can seize the memes of production.

Why did Louis XIV seize possession of an Italian triumph?

To absolutely claim it as, "Mon arch"

Managed to drop one of the classics today.

Wife and Daughter are sat watching something while I'm doing the Tesco shop on my phone. - Strawberry jam is on the list, I seize my moment

Y'know what i say

- now I think about it…. I like strawberry jam… and I like blackberry jam … but I don't like lemon preserve

That just a curd to me


What is a Russian oligarch's least favorite parlor game?

Yacht seize!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the seize overwhelmingly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working seize critics piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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