Seize Jokes
56 seize jokes and hilarious seize puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seize that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article delves into the history of "seizing the day" by exploring its origin in the USSR and the ongoing trend of using anti-seize catch phrases in memorabilia products. Read on to learn more about this topic!
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Funniest Seize Short Jokes
Short seize jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seize humour may include short seizure jokes also.
- Russia is reportedly seizing Apple's assets in Russia with the intent to make a new vehicle. They plan to call it the iVan.
- What do you call that friend who will always seize the opportunity to run a Dungeons & Dragons game for your group? A Carpe D.M
- What's the worst thing about internet communists? They spend all day trying to seize the memes of production.
- A communist girl thought I was cute. Next thing I know she seized my means of reproduction!
- Did you hear about the communist couple that went to a fertility clinic? They wanted to seize the means of reproduction.
- A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production... Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.
- I was dating a chick from the Soviet Union... it was nice until she tried to seize my means of reproduction.
- If Karl Marx made a contraceptive company Would it's slogan be seize the means of reproduction?
- What's the difference between Karl Marx and Donald Trump? Trump only advocates the seizing of a *woman's* means of production
- Donald Trump wants to make Russia great again all along..... We should have known, he kept talking about seizing the means of reproduction after all
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Seize One Liners
Which seize one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seize? I can suggest the ones about steal and epileptic seizure.
- How do you stop an Internet troll? Seize their memes of production.
- What is a Russian oligarch's least favorite parlor game? yacht seize!
- Why was Marx bad at dating? He only talked about seizing the means of production.
- Know who's really good at seizing the day? Epileptics.
- Today, March 26th, is Epilepsy Awareness day. So get on out there and seize the day!
- How do Communists celebrate Valentine's Day By seizing the means of reproduction.
- The president is a closet communist He likes to seize the means of reproduction.
- How do communists neuter their dogs? By seizing their means of reproduction
- Carpe Dime Seize the coin.
- What does a gen Z communist say? Seize the memes of production!
- What's a female communist objective? Seizing the means of reproduction.
- All robots are communists Because there seizing the means of production
- How do you seize the means of production? By overthrowing the bourgeoisie ☭
- What did Antony say when he saw Cleopatra running away? Seize her!
- Strobe lights The real reason for the seizing
Seize The Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny seize the day jokes and even better seize the day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- CARPE DIEM! Seize the day is a great motto to live by... Unless you have epilepsy.
- Why did the grandpa have a seizure in the middle of a family gathering? - Because he wanted to seize the day.
- An epileptic has started waking himself each morning with flashing lights... He says it's part of his new plan to seize the day.
- My uncle once had a 24-hour epileptic episode. He sure seized that day.
Hilarious Fun Seize Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about seize you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean secede jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make seize pranks.
Republicans hate communism
Republicans hate communism, except when they want to seize the means of reproduction.
Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary?
Cos I'd like you to seize control of my means of production.
I didn't realise Trump had a communist streak, but...
His call for people of the world to seize the means of reproduction was rather stirring!
Pirates
The FBI seize a collection of pirated movies.
The movies were Footloose, dirty dancing, ferris bueller's day off, ghost busters and the breakfast club.
As the pirate sees his beloved movies taken away from him, he cries
"ARGH! Me eighties!"
Why did the communist grab the fortune teller?
He wanted to seize the means of prediction.
What does a socialist do when they don't want children?
They seize the means of reproduction...
Sorry
Stalin's political career didn't really take off, until he played the trump card
-Seize the means of reproduction!
The Soviet Union could have worked just fine, but the regime was dominated and swerved by political extremes
Next time we should seize the trimmed means of production.
Why are some Commies bad at stats?
They fail to seize the *mean*s of production.
It's time to act now
Let's stage a socialist takeover of Broadway and seize the means of productions!
I'm off to a communist speed dating night.
I'm hoping I can seize the means of seduction.
What did the communist say when he wanted a h**...?
What did the communist say when he wanted a h**...?
"Seize the means of reproduction!"
What Happens When You Flash A Light at an Epileptic Communist?
They "seize" the means of production.
Why don't pirates have gluteal muscle spasms?
Because they already seize the b**...!
Been working on better socializing my dog. Think I've done too well
All he wants to do is rise up and seize the means of pawduction.
If they still existed, the Soviet government would have have been the world's lead producer of memes.
They needed to seize the memes of production.
Carpe Diem is a great motto and all...
but if you seize everyday, you probably have epilepsy
What do you call the ban on same s**... marriage?
Rainbow s**... Seize
Why are so many young people turning to socialism and communism?
Because then they can seize the memes of production.
Why did Louis XIV seize possession of an Italian triumph?
To absolutely claim it as, "Mon arch"
Managed to drop one of the classics today.
Wife and Daughter are sat watching something while I'm doing the Tesco shop on my phone. - Strawberry jam is on the list, I seize my moment
Y'know what i say
- now I think about it…. I like strawberry jam… and I like blackberry jam … but I don't like lemon preserve
That just a curd to me
Priceless!!!