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Seinfeld Jokes

28 seinfeld jokes and hilarious seinfeld puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seinfeld that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready for a good laugh with these iconic Seinfeld quotes and jokes! From Kramer's outrageous antics to Jerry's classic catchphrases, these Seinfeld jokes and references will bring back the classic sitcom feel. Whether it's the classic "bad" jokes, or a trip to an Indian restaurant, or even running into a dentist's office - you'll be sure to get a good chuckle out of these timeless classic. Find out which one is your favorite today!

Best Short Seinfeld Jokes

Short seinfeld jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seinfeld humour may include short jerry seinfeld jokes also.

  1. What do you call a sitcom that takes place in a war zone? Minefeld
    *Plays Seinfeld theme with gunshots*
  2. Kwanzaa and Festivus were both made up in 1966. One is a joke holiday that no one should take seriously. The other was featured on Seinfeld.
    hat tip to u/AudibleNod
  3. Seinfeld should have done an episode where they get stuck in an elevator. It would have really taken the whole 'show about nothing' to the next level.
  4. Seinfeld, whats up with that? I mean, is it a sitcom is it a stand up show, make up your mind!
  5. Public speaking is the #1 fear of the average person. #2 is death. This means that at a f**..., more people would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
    -j**... Seinfeld
  6. Two cannibal clowns are eating j**... Seinfeld.. One asks, "Does this taste funny to you?"
    The other replies, "Nah, it's just bland.. maybe a little dry."
  7. When j**... Seinfeld dies... I really hope his tombstone says:
    *j**... Seinfeld
    1954 yadda yadda yadda 20XX*
  8. What type of roller coaster goes through the Bronx? The type where people scream in the flat parts.
    -j**... Seinfeld
  9. I went to a j**... Seinfeld stand-up last night. It was actually really disappointing; he didn't use any of his old jokes I used to love... Like, what's up with that?
  10. Two cannibals were eating j**... Seinfeld... One looks at the other and asks Does this taste salty?

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Seinfeld joke, Two cannibals were eating j**... Seinfeld...


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about seinfeld can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of seinfeld puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Seinfeld One Liners

Which seinfeld one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seinfeld? I can suggest the ones about episode and sitcom.

  1. What do you call part of a poem written by a Seinfeld character? A George Costanza.
  2. Two gentiles meet on the street.
    One says, "How's business?"
    The other says, "Great!"
  3. Did you hear Seinfeld on political correctness? He really went on the offensive about it.
  4. My son said he didn't think Seinfeld was funny Turns out he's not the Wiz
  5. j**... Seinfeld at a Poker game: What's the deal?
  6. How does j**... Seinfeld play ice hockey? With his Shtick.
  7. Why'd the guy use the j**... Seinfeld themed e**...? For sh*ts and giggles

Jerry Seinfeld Jokes

Here is a list of funny jerry seinfeld jokes and even better jerry seinfeld puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear j**... Seinfeld is hosting a new poker show Its gonna be called "What's the Deal?"
  • Curse of Oak Island The show "Curse of Oak Island" takes j**... Seinfeld's concept of a show about nothing to a hole new level.
  • j**... Seinfeld Do y'all think j**... Seinfeld only got the part because his name was j**... Seinfeld?
Seinfeld joke, j**... Seinfeld

Hilarious Seinfeld Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about seinfeld you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean genre jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make seinfeld prank.

A joke on telemarketers from Seinfeld

**j**...:** This isn't a good time.
**Telemarketer:** When would be a good time to call back, sir?
**j**...:** I have an idea, why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you back later?
**Telemarketer:** Umm, we're not allowed to do that.
**j**...:** Oh, I guess because you don't want strangers calling you at home.
**Telemarketer:** Umm, no.
**j**...:** Well, now you know how I feel.

A riddle for the day

A riddle for the day
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it? Answer below! (this is pretty good )
----------------------------------------------------------
The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!

What were you thinking?

Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn't have one,
The POPE has one but doesn't use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns' was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
j**... Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
what is it?

Super Dave Seinfeld Joke

A woman is vary afraid of the size of her opening, so she goes to her mother asking what I'm going to do ...
I'm so big down there when I merry my man he's going to divorce me !
Mother says: Don't worry sweetheart, do what i do when i married your father, go to the market, get some raw liver and put it down there and he will never know the difference !
So she does that and had 8 hours of s**... after her marriage. The morning after she wakes up she found a note from her husband under the pillow.
The note says: I love you darling, my heart beaten so hard last night I was afraid I was going to wake you up. Now I'm going to work so I can buy you a house, a car and all the stuff you want ! I can't wait to see you again after work !
P.S. - YOUR c**... IS IN THE SINK !

So a pair of cannibals are sitting down to a nice meal...

...of j**... Seinfeld.
A while into the meal, one of the cannibals says,
"I'm going for the forehead, do you want any?" as he cuts a slice from the front of j**...'s scalp. The other cannibal declines, shaking his head and saying,
"What's the deal with hairline food?"

A riddle for today

A riddle for today
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
j**... Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's.
What is it?
[The answer is: "A Last Name."
Sorry Folks...No Dirty Jokes Here!] (/spoiler)

Seinfeld joke, How does j**... Seinfeld play ice hockey?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these seinfeld jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.