Seemingly Jokes
40 seemingly jokes and hilarious seemingly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seemingly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Seemingly Short Jokes
Short seemingly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seemingly humour may include short apparently jokes also.
- My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
- Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared. Apparently only DC movies can do that.
- America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona By keeping the first one going
- We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.
- I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.
- My girlfriend just admitted she used to be a Christian, so I broke up with her. It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
- TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
- I bought a pug for my wife. Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.
- Is this the right sub? Need help repairing my fence. It seems everyone knows how to repost here.
- A man gets pulled over by a female cop. He asks "what seems to be the problem, officer?", and the cop responds, "oh, nothing."
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Seemingly One Liners
Which seemingly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seemingly? I can suggest the ones about supposedly and suspiciously.
- What does idk stand for? I've asked lots of people but nobody seems to know.
- Everyone should calm down about that Net Neutrality thing... You guys seem so Ajitated.
- First day as a vet Me: What seems to be the problem
Cat: Meow
Me: Yes, but where? - Someone keyed the music teacher's car Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor
- I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high... She seemed surprised.
- Thanos seems a lot like a pessimist to me Y'know, the 'universe half empty' kind of guy
- This blender I just bought doesn't seem to be working right I keep getting mixed results
- I don't trust people who can draw... They all seem kinda sketchy.
- Has anyone heard of the disastrous news about the CPU chip flaws? seems like bad intel..
- Why wont Demi Lovato play soccer? She cant seem to kick anything
- When I met the Rock, he seemed quite shy. I expected him to be a little bolder.
- I've never liked the guy who sang Take On Me... He always seemed kinda sketchy.
- The iPhone 6S+ has been doing really well so far... It seems to be a huge 6S
- 2/22/22 may seem cool... but I was around for 12:34:56 7/8/90
- People ask me why I don't like spoons. Idk why really. They just seem pointless to me.
Gather Around for Fun Seemingly Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about seemingly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean appears jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make seemingly pranks.
A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"
He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".
I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They're disgusted by his haircut, tattoos, and piercings. Later, when he leaves, the girl's mom says, "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy."
"Oh, please, mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They're appalled by his haircut, tattoos and piercings.
The boy leaves and the girl's mom remarks, Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy.
* Oh, come on Mom! If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 300 hours of community service? *
Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.
When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.
[Request] Self deprecating joke about height for wedding
Long story short, I am officiating a wedding between the 2 tallest and most stunning friends I have. I am about 5'9 VS his 6'4 I would like to make some jab about them not being able to get anyone taller or when they asked me i immediately started thinking about how tall of a stool I would need to find and bring with. Just nothing seems all that funny, any ideas? Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, feel free to delete!
At the interview for my new job I was asked
"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."
What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common?
They get confused and incorrectly assume it's a date.
(Edit)
Thank you for the awards.
As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we can't post venn diagrams on this sub, I don't see what's wrong with sharing a good joke for others to enjoy. :/
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised.
Nobody expects the spanish Acquisition
