Seemingly Jokes

40 seemingly jokes and hilarious seemingly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seemingly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Seemingly Short Jokes

Short seemingly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seemingly humour may include short apparently jokes also.

  1. My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
  2. Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared. Apparently only DC movies can do that.
  3. America seems to have successfully prevented a second wave of corona By keeping the first one going
  4. I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa. Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
  5. We should use Hillary Clinton's emails to build a wall Because a lot of people can't seem to get over it.
  6. I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it.
  7. My girlfriend just admitted she used to be a Christian, so I broke up with her. It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
  8. TIL that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32. It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
  9. I bought a pug for my wife. Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.
  10. Is this the right sub? Need help repairing my fence. It seems everyone knows how to repost here.

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Seemingly One Liners

Which seemingly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seemingly? I can suggest the ones about supposedly and suspiciously.

  1. nobody seems to upvote a cake joke on cakeday anymore Feeling desserted
  2. What does idk stand for? I've asked lots of people but nobody seems to know.
  3. Everyone should calm down about that Net Neutrality thing... You guys seem so Ajitated.
  4. First day as a vet Me: What seems to be the problem
    Cat: Meow
    Me: Yes, but where?
  5. Someone keyed the music teacher's car Fortunately, the damage seems to B minor
  6. I told a girl at work she drew on her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  7. I told my friend she drew her eyebrows on too high... She seemed surprised.
  8. Thanos seems a lot like a pessimist to me Y'know, the 'universe half empty' kind of guy
  9. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  10. This blender I just bought doesn't seem to be working right I keep getting mixed results
  11. I don't trust people who can draw... They all seem kinda sketchy.
  12. Has anyone heard of the disastrous news about the CPU chip flaws? seems like bad intel..
  13. Why wont Demi Lovato play soccer? She cant seem to kick anything
  14. I keep asking people what IDK stands for But nobody seems to know...
  15. I met this vegetarian and she looks very familiar Seems like I met herbivore

Seemingly joke, I met this vegetarian and she looks very familiar

Gather Around for Fun Seemingly Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about seemingly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean appears jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make seemingly pranks.

A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"

He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I'd pick up a stranger. He asked, "Thanks but why would you pick me up? How would you know I'm not a serial killer?".

I told him the chances of two serial killers in a car would be astronomical.

To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They're disgusted by his haircut, tattoos, and piercings. Later, when he leaves, the girl's mom says, "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy."
"Oh, please, mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They're appalled by his haircut, tattoos and piercings.
The boy leaves and the girl's mom remarks, Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy.
* Oh, come on Mom! If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 300 hours of community service? *

Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.

When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.

[Request] Self deprecating joke about height for wedding

Long story short, I am officiating a wedding between the 2 tallest and most stunning friends I have. I am about 5'9 VS his 6'4 I would like to make some jab about them not being able to get anyone taller or when they asked me i immediately started thinking about how tall of a stool I would need to find and bring with. Just nothing seems all that funny, any ideas? Sorry if this is the wrong subreddit, feel free to delete!

A man goes into a job interview

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"

While my wife was in labor I read her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn't seem amused...

**It must have been the delivery.**

i have spent 2 hours trying to explain sunk cost fallacy to my son

he doesn't seem to be understanding anything i am saying and honestly, i feel like giving up.
but if i quit now, i'd have spent all this time for nothing!

At the interview for my new job I was asked

"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."

What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common?

They get confused and incorrectly assume it's a date.

Thank you for the awards.

As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we can't post venn diagrams on this sub, I don't see what's wrong with sharing a good joke for others to enjoy. :/

Seemingly joke, What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common?