The Best 20 Seemingly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Seemingly jokes. There are some seemingly reportedly jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these seemingly manner puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Seemingly Jokes and Puns

A lawyer is out for a drive when he gets violently sideswiped, seemingly out of nowhere.

A police officer arrives at the scene to take his statement, but the driver keeps ranting on and on about the damage to his car.

"My beautiful BMW! The god-damned door was torn right off!"

The police officer rolls his eyes and says "You lawyers are so materialistic it makes me sick. Here you are, going on about your precious car, and you didn't even notice your left arm was torn off in the crash."

The man looks down at the bloody stump, and with mounting horror, exclaims, "*My Rolex!*"

My wife left me for another man.

All that lies ahead now is a miserable, pointless life, with suicide seemingly the only way out.
And while he's going through all that, I'll be in the pub with my mates every night.

Oh, you!

A man takes his beloved, but seemingly ill golden retriever to the vet when the owner hears the words that every pet owner dreads; "Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to put your dog down.". Distraught, the man breaks down and asks why, to which the vet replies "Because he's very heavy and my arms are getting tired."

Seemingly joke, Oh, you!

African Roulette

Four men are captured by a tribe in the middle of Africa.

The tribe leader gives them the choice of either death, or they can try their luck at "African Roulette."

The men, as one of the choices seemingly had a chance to stay alive, hastily all chose the second option.

The tribe leader lined up 6 extremely gorgeous women in front of the men, and said "You must choose one of these beautiful women to preform oral sex on you."

The men saw nothing wrong with this and were ecstatic at their luck, yet confused about the "roulette" part.

As they chose their women and were getting ready, the tribe leader spoke up and said, "One of them is a cannibal."

A daughter is seemingly possessed by a demon...

Her mother frantically calls their priest, requesting an exorcism. She describes the details "She has been spinning about wildly, climbing on the walls, running on the ceiling.. moving about non-stop!" The priest replies "I don't know what you want me to do. Sounds like she's already exercising plenty!"


A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop

A seemingly normal man walks into a pet shop. He has a parrot on his head.
The cashier asks him, "Why is that on your head?"
The man replies, "it keeps the elephants away".
The cashier, bewildered, states, "But there are no elephants here!"
"Then clearly the parrot is working"

2 village idiots are walking...

...in the woods in December. They spend long hours there, seemingly looking at the trees. As time goes by, they argue more and more. Finally, at sunset, one tells the other:

"Look, I don't care if the next one doesn't have any decorations, we're taking it for Christmas!"

Seemingly joke, 2 village idiots are walking...

So a horse walks into a bar...

So a horse walks into a bar. The barkeep seems to know that the horse frequently goes to bars, and he asks the horse, "Aren't you an alcoholic by now?"

The horse replies, "I think not!" and disappears, seemingly into thin air.

See, the joke here is based on Rene Descartes' famous philosophy of "I think, therefore I am", however, explaining that part first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

The devil strolls into a church

Everybody starts screaming and running out, the priest almost falls as he jumps over the altar. One old man remains seated seemingly completely unphased by the incident. The devil booms "YOU MUST BE BLIND OLD MAN, DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???" The man replies, "Not really worried brother... I married your sister"

A duck was standing by the roadside waiting for a break in traffic so it could cross.

It watched the vehicles zooming past, seemingly uncaring of its plight. Just when the mayhem started to lull a chicken walked up and said "Don't do it, mate. You'll never hear the end of it"

You know how cats always swat at each other for seemingly no reason? Turns out it's in their DNA.

I'm sure somewhere in their genome it reads CAT TAG

You can explore seemingly await reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean seemingly snoo dad jokes. There are also seemingly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Little Tim was waiting for his dad to come back from the basement

Dad and Tim had agreed to eat lunch together. However, Dad told Tim that he had to fix something in the basement first, and he went downstairs with a rope. As time went by, Tim became more and more impatient and decided that dad should know.

"Dad!" Tim shouted. "I'm hungry!"

Suddenly, a voice that seemingly came from nowhere filled the living room.

"Hi hungry, I'm dead"

A man brings his kid with him to his office for take your kid to work day

The kid is intrigued, looking around at all the cubicles, seemingly looking for something



sfter about thirty minutes the kid begins breaking down and crying and running around, looking all over, the man comes over to comfort his kid, and asks him what's wrong



daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?!?

Hippopotamuses are seemingly unconcerned about the effects of climate change on their habitat

It's as if they lived in de Nile

Three women were bragging about their boyfriends...

The first one proudly declares, my boyfriend is so kinky, he stuck his whole arm inside of me, The second girl shrugs her off and exclaims "that's nothing, my boyfriend once stuck his whole head inside me! The third one seemingly unimpressed states, "thats nothing compared to mine" as she spreads her legs and yells "BABE COME OUT OF THERE"

H--x--al: What's a five syllable word for colorful characters represented by a group of seemingly random letters?

That's right, *hexadecimal*.

Seemingly joke, H--x--al: What's a five syllable word for colorful characters represented by a group of seemingly ra

I've spent many nights staring into the seemingly endless abyss...

I wish my wife wouldn't sleep naked

How do you qualify a slim and seemingly shady argument?

It's an ad eminem.

People with dysgraphia (inability to spell) also tend to answer arithmetical problems in an unpredictable, seemingly random matter.

According to them, you can't spell "calculation" without "luck".


Seemingly effortless

And good, real good

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the seemingly haughty jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working seemingly atop piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes