Seeingeye Jokes
9 seeingeye jokes and hilarious seeingeye puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seeingeye that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good seeingeye joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Two guys were walking their dogs....
Two guys were walking their dogs-one had a German Shepherd and the other had a Chihuahua. The man with the Shepherd suggested going into a bar for a drink. The other man says, "They're not going to let dogs into the bar." And the first guy says, "No? Watch this." So he puts on some dark glasses, acts like the German Shepherd is a seeing-eye dog, walks into the bar and orders a drink. And no one says anything. So the second guy takes out some dark glasses, slips them on, and walks his Chihuahua into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry-we don't allow dogs in here." And the man says, "It's okay-it's my seeing-eye dog." The bartender laughs and says, "This Chihuahua is your seeing-eye dog?" And the guy says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"
A blind man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...
...the bartender says, "Hey man, what's with the parrot?"
The man says, "It's my seeing-eye parrot."
The bartender says, "You know, most people use dogs right?"
The man replies, "Yeah, but do you know how hard it is to get one of those to stay on your shoulder?"
What do you call a sleeping seeing-eye dog?
An out-of-service dog
A man walks into a bar with a Labrador and takes a seat.
The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here!" The man doesn't miss a beat and replies, "Excuse me, this is my seeing eye dog." The bartender apologises profusely and says, "Here, the first one's on me."
The man walks over and takes a seat near the door. Soon, another man walks in with a chihuahua. The first man says, "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man thanks him and heads over to the bar.
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The second man says, "It's my seeing eye dog." The bartender scowls and says, "I do not believe they give chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
And the second man says, "They gave me a chihuahua?!?!?"
Getting into the pub with your dog
Two guys were out walking their dogs on a hot day, when they pass by a pub.
Mike looks at his friend John and says Let's go in there for a quick drink.
John replies with, They won't let us in with our dogs.
Sure they will, just follow my lead.
Mike walks up to the pub, and sure enough the doorman tell hims, I'm sorry but I can't let you in here with your dog.
Mike replies, But I'm blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.
The doorman says, Okay well in that case, come on in.
John sees this and decideds to do the same thing. He walks up to the front door, but the doorman says, Sorry sir, you can't come in here with a dog.
John replies, I'm blind and this is my seeing-eye dog.
The doorman responds, I don't think so buddy. You mean to tell me you have a chihuahua for a seeing-eye dog?
John stops for a second looking confused, and says, They gave me a chihuahua?
When a woman was asked why she had two seeing-eye dogs, she said
The second one's for reading
Two friends are walking their dogs...
One has a German shepherd, the other a chihuahua. The one with the German Shepherd says to the other "Hey, let's stop at the bar and have a beer"
"They don't allow dogs at the bar"
"Don't worry, just do what I do"
The man with the Shepherd walks in, and the bartender goes: "Excuse me, we don't allow dogs in here"
"This is a seeing-eye dog"
"I'm sorry! please come in"
The guy with the Chihuahua walks in.
Bartender: "Excuse me, we don't allow dogs here"
"This is a seeing-eye dog"
"Sir, that's a chihuahua"
"THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA??"
Bartender: "I'm sorry! Please come on in"
Two friends are walking their dogs when the come across a restaurant...
Since they are hungry, they decide to go in and have a bite to eat. They're about to go in when one realizes that the restaurant doesn't allow dogs. The other says that they should pretend to be blind so that their dogs could act as seeing-eye dogs. After going in, the manager comes over to them and asks them to leave because of their dogs. "Ah!" The first guy said. "But my friend and I are blind, and these are our seeing-eye dogs!" "The man eyed him suspiciously. "A German Shepard?" He asked him. "Yes sir! They're using them more and more now. These dogs are extremely reliable!" "Ok," the manager says. "But what about you?" He says, pointing to the other guy, "A chihuahua?" "A CHIHUAHUA!? The other guy says. "THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA!?"
The passengers on a small plane are quite surprised the when the pilots arrive.
The passengers on a small plane are quite surprised when the pilots arrive.
The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.
Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
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