Seeing Is Believing Jokes

94 seeing is believing jokes and hilarious seeing is believing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seeing is believing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Seeing Is Believing Jokes

Short seeing is believing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seeing is believing humour may include short believing jokes also.

  1. A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine. He raises his eyes to the heavens and exclaims "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"
  2. Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?" Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
  3. Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.
  4. Did you know that an airplane's propeller is only a big fan and is there to keep the pilot cool? Don't believe me?
    Turn it off, and see how much the pilot sweats!
  5. A Buddhist monk sees Jesus' face in a tub of margerine And he exclaimed, I can't believe it's not Buddha!
  6. Your dog is better than your wife. Don't believe me? Lock them both in your trunk for an hour and then see who's happy when you open it.
  7. Hey girl, are you click bait? Because I see 10 reasons why you're perfect and you won't believe #5
  8. My wife told me to grow up and stop believing everything I see on the internet But I don't need this. There are local singles in my area literally dying to meet me.
  9. A Muslim man sees the face of Muhammad in a tub of margarine one day His neighbor from Nepal looks over and says "I can't believe it's not Buddha"
  10. A Tibetan monk sees the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine. I can't believe it's not Buddha, he says.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about seeing is believing can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of seeing is believing puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Seeing Is Believing One Liners

Which seeing is believing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seeing is believing? I can suggest the ones about i believe in the saying and viewing.

  1. Why are blind people so skeptical? They have to see it to believe it.
  2. Seeing is believing. I never believed in my father.
  3. Don't believe everything you see on internet. -Mahatma Gandhi
  4. They say 'seeing is believing'... Camo isn't real.
  5. What does an atheist say when he sees god? I can't believe it
  6. I don't believe in genetic engineering... At least not until I see pigs fly
  7. "You have to see it to believe it" -Ray Charles
  8. A blind man can't believe anything Because he only believes what he sees
  9. Funny quote "Don't believe everything you see on the internet." - Winston Churchill
  10. Invisibility I won't believe it until I see it.
  11. I believe my pet bird has been seeing ghost. He has skills of the parrotnormal
  12. Did you guys see the new $12 bill? I can't believe they put Harriet Tubman on it!
  13. Never tell a blind Catholic that seeing is is believing...
  14. "I'll believe it when I see it" Said the blind nihilist

Seeing Is Believing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about seeing is believing you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean have faith jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make seeing is believing prank.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".

My mother told me this one...

One day a lonely woman decided to call the dating service. They asked her what she wanted in a man. She replied "I want a man who won't hit me, I want a man who won't leave me, and I want a great lover!" They said ok he will be there in one hour. So the woman gets ready for her date, and an hour later she hears the doorbell ring. She goes to the door but no one is there. When all of a sudden she hears "down here!". She looks down and sees a man with no arms and no legs lying on the doormat. She asks "can i help you?" He says "I am from the dating service." But she does not believe him. He sees this and says "just tell me what you want in a man. She says "I want a man who won't hit me". "Lady I ain't got any arms". "I want a man who wont leave me". "Lady I ain't got no legs". "And I want a great lover" she says. To which he replies "lady, how do you think I rang the doorbell?"

Doctor tells his patient "I have good news and bad news..."

Guy says "what's the bad news?" Doctor says "you have cancer, it's terminal." Guy starts wailing "Ohhh that's terrible! Oh my god! I can't believe it! Well what's the *good* news then?" Doctor says "you see that blonde bombshell receptionist? I'm *f**...'* 'er!"

Bag limit.

A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the man he has too many fish and he is going to cite the fishermen. The fishermen says "No, you see these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them I called them to me". The warden doesn't believe the guy, and so the fishermen tells the warden he will show him. The guy dumps the cooler of fish in the water. The warden waits a minute and says to the guy "ok now call the fish back".
"What fish?"

A ghost couple were arguing...

"I don't believe a single word you tell me," the ghost girlfriend said to her ghost boyfriend, "I can see right through you!"

The Elusive Midget Nun

Two Eskimos, a big one and a little one, walk up to the convent door. The big one nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door.
The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big Eskimo nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question.
The little Eskimo timidly says, May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?
The Mother Superior answers, There are no midget nuns living here.
The big Eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, Go ahead, ask her the other question, ask her the other question.
The little Eskimo asks in a quavering voice, Well, are there any midget nuns in Alaska?
The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, I know most of the nuns in Alaska and I don't believe so.
With this the big Eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his belly as he laughs uncontrollably. See, he says to the little Eskimo, I told you that you s**... a penguin!

I got pulled over for running a stop sign.

The cop says, "Didn't you see the stop sign?"
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.

The computer was claimed to answer anything correctly.

But the CEO didn't believe it, so he asked "Where's my father right now?". The computer beeped and whirred for a few seconds, and spat out "Your father is fishing in Canada". The CEO joyfully chortled "See, your computer isn't always right, my father died when I was 10 years old!" The computer spat out "Your mothers husband died 25 years ago. Your father just landed an 8 pound trout."

Unexpected car wash...

So a guy in a pick up truck goes to a car wash, after a few minutes he gets waved in and starts to drive away. He looks back and sees a Spanish guy drying his rear window in the bed of his truck. He freaks out, swerves and a cop who sees all of this pulls him over. While the cop is walking up to the cab of the truck, the truck driver says "no one is going to believe this!" The Spanish guy looks up and says "NO! Juan will believe this!!!"

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?

Niels Bohr (true story)

a true story (supposedly)
A man goes to visit Niels Bohr, and sees a horseshoe hanging over Bohr's door (a scandinavian superstition).
The man says, "But Niels, you are a scientist! Surely you do not believe in this superstition?"
Niels replies, "Of course I don't believe in it!"
The man is confused. "Why do you have it if you don't believe in it?"
Bohr replies, "It is supposed to work, even if you don't believe in it!"

I went to the canary islands

... and believe it or not, I didn't see any canaries.
I also went to the v**... islands, and believe it or not, I didn't see any canaries there either.

A lawyer opens his car door on the side of the road

as a car flies past and takes off his door. Stunned, he quickly looks around and spots a police officer nearby. "Officer, you saw that guy just hit my brand new Porsche, you have to do something!" The officer can't believe what he is seeing and shakily replies, "Sir, how can you lawyers be so materialistic? Do you not realize that your entire left arm is also missing?" The lawyer quickly looks at his left arm and yells, "No, my Rolex!"

I think we should solve world hunger.

You might say I'm a strong believer in world peas.
^I'll ^see ^myself ^out...

Priest does a crossword puzzle

A gentleman sits next to a priest on an airplane. He sees the priest doing a crossword puzzle.
Time passes and the priest says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four letter word that describes a woman and ends in 'u-n-t'?"
The gentleman thinks about this and finally says, "I believe the word you're looking for is 'aunt.'"
The priest replies, "Oh, you're right. That fits, too. Would you happen to have an eraser?"

Life after death

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. Yes, sir," the clerk replied. "That's good," the boss said. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's f**..., she stopped in to see you."

You can reach 80 years

Doctor: Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years.
*But doctor, I am already 80!*
You see - I told you to quit smoking.

Hillary is talking to The Pope, and he says...

"With but one wave of my hand, I can make these people feel joy. Joy that nothing else in the world can bring. And it will be an eternal, everlasting joy."
Hillary says "I'll believe that when I see it."
And so, the Pope raises his hand into the air, and slaps her across the face, and the crowd goes wild.

When I was younger, I was told that anyone could become President.

Seeing Trump's campaign, now I believe it.

A Husband came home late at night from the office one day and realised he forgot his Wife's birthday...

"How would you feel if you don't see me for next few days?" His wife said

He couldn't believe his luck. He replied at once. "Wowww.....That would be great!''

Monday passed & he didn't see her....

Tuesday he didn't see her...

and Wednesday passed too...

On Thursday the swelling was better as he caught a glimpse of her from the corner of his left eye.

A couple of Aliens land in the middle of Jerusalem and see all the worshippers...

One looks to the other and says "See, they still believe your b**..., pay up!"

A priest is in the middle of the ocean and refuses help from ships that are near because he believes that God is going to help him.

When he dies, he ends up in Heaven and sees God. He asks: "Why didn't you help me, God?" God replies: "What do you mean? I sent so many ships to help you!"

There's this new camouflage being developped that apparently makes soldiers invisible!

You have to not see it to believe it.

An electrician goes to a fortune teller.

When he arrives, the fortune teller says
"Look into this crystal ball and you will see how you die". When the electrician looks into the ball, he couldn't believe what he saw. He was shocked.

A queen asked a beardless knight...

A queen asked a beardless knight, "tell me true: have you fathered any children?" "In truth, my Queen, I have not." "I believe it," she replied, "for it's known to all that one can look at the hay to see if the pitchfork's any good."
"Tell me true," asked the knight, "have you any hair between your legs?" "In truth, young knight, I have not." "I believe it," he replied, "for it's known to all that when too many walk a road, the grass stops growing."

Isn't it funny how anti-vaxxer's children....

Always seem to get what their parents deserve?
I believe I made this up but I'm posting here to see if anyone else has heard anything similar.

Only 1% of population uses the labels on clothes to check washing method

The remaining 99% believes that the label is to see where the back side is.

Patient to visit Doctor

A doctors nurse's assistance says to him "You have a patient who believes he is invisible." The doctor turns to her and tells her "Tell him I can't see him today."

I believe we should take care of our world leaders. They should not be lame, sick, or unsightly. With that in mind, I went to Russia to see if I could help but they turned me away.

No Putin tended.

Bob was late to come to see his friend John at the bar

John: Dude, you're so late!
Bob: You won't believe what just happened to me. On my way here, I saw a girl tied to a train track. I untied her and we had s**... time together.
John: That sounds awesome dude!
Bob: Yeah, I know right. We did m**..., doggy, c**... etc. you name it.
John: Did you receive head?
Bob: Nah, couldn't find it.

A man visits a psychic

He doesn't believe in that stuff, but decided to have some fun. The psychic looks into her crystal ball and says, "I can see that you're a father of two..."
"Ha, that's what you think!" he replies. "I'm a father of three!"
"Ha! That's what you think!"

I've finally succeeded in turning things invisible, but nobody believes me.

They say the difference is difficult to see, but to me the results are clear.

Don't believe everything you see on internet just because there is a famous person's name next to it.

-Abraham Lincoln

Interviewer: and what do you see yourself doing 5 years down the road Mr. Jones?

Mr. Jones: Personally, I believe my biggest weakness is listening.

A man goes to meet a fortune teller

As he sits down she starts: "So I see, you're a father of two kids..."
"Ha, that's a bad guess", the man replies, "I'm father of three."
The fortune teller smiles: "yes, that's what YOU believe."

The lead singer of Smash Mouth is up late with a friend.

The lead singer of Smash Mouth is up late with a friend. His wife's not home; the past few nights she's returned past midnight with increasingly elaborate alibis. He's getting frustrated; he loves her, but he's not sure he can keep giving her the benefit of the doubt. His friend asks what he's going to do when she shows up. His face contorts in frustration. "When I see her face..."
He softens.
"Imma believe 'er."

My great grandfather got to see the Titanic

He told everyone it would sink, no one believed him. He said it again, they shut him up. For the last time, he warned everyone that it would sink. They have had enough and he got kicked out of the movie theatre.

Kendall Jenner and her dad Caitlyn Jenner are in a heated argument.

Caitlyn says: "It's true, Kendall. You have to believe me!
Kendall says furyously: "I see straight through your lies. You are so trans parent!"

Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing at the threshold, hats in hand. The first leprechaun speaks, "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"

"No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."
"And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"
"No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"
The first leprechaun rounds on his companion and shouts, "AH TOL' YE YOU'D BEEN FOOKIN' A PENGUIN!"

I was driving with my daughter on a beautiful sunny day this winter and I said, "I can't believe how poor the visibility is."

She said, "What do you mean? It's perfectly clear." Pointing down I said, "I can only see four feet in front of us."

One of my favorite Reagan jokes:

A Soviet Diplomat goes to one of the farms in Russia, and approaches the farmer.
How are the carrots doing? Said the Diplomat.
Oh, the carrots are as big and orange as ever! Replies the farmer.
I see, and how are the beets?
Oh, sir, if Gorbachev saw these beets, he would cry with joy!
And what about the potatoes?
Sir, if we stacked the potatoes, they would be high enough to reach God!
The diplomat stares for a minute. But comrade, we don't believe in god.
Oh, good. Says the farmer. Because there are no potatoes.

Mr Jeffries in interview

Job interviewer: And where would you see yourself in five years' time Mr. Jeffries?" - Mr. Jeffries: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."

What are two things that you can see in the photo op at St John's church?

One is a glorified tool that is no longer relevant, but still widely used by radical christians to persecute homosexuals, degrade women, prohibit freedom, and rationalize war on non-believers.
The other is the bible.

Germanys funniest joke according to research

A man comes to the fortune teller and sits in front of the crystal ball. "I see you have two children," says the fortune teller.
"YOU believe that!" He replies. "I am a father of three."
The fortune teller smiles and answers: "YOU believe that!"

A woman's closet door what making a terrible sounds whenever a bus was crossing the street outside

So she called a carpenter to check it out.
The carpenter comes to see what's the problem but sees nothing. Right then a bus was crossing the street and a loud creaking sound was heard. He couldn't believe it.
So he told her that he'll be waiting inside the closet to see what is making this noise.
After a few minutes the husband comes home, opens the closet and see a man inside.
He looks at his wife with disgust and back at the man and asks: "what the h**... are you doing in my closet…?"
The carpenter then said "would you believe me if I told you I am waiting for the bus? "

So, I trained a chicken to talk

WIFE: Well, let's see
ME: What's a male deer?
ME: How much is 200 pennies?
CHICKEN: Buck Buck
WIFE: This is s**.... Chickens just make that sound
ME: Oh believe me it gets better
CHICKEN: Yeah, just be patient Susan

Two blondes are driving to Miami for spring break

On a long boring stretch of highway they start complaining about how long it's taking to get there and the driver asks "What do you think is further away, Florida or the moon?" The passenger replies "Oh my God, you give blondes such a bad name. I can't believe how s**... you are, you can't even see Florida from here!"

I don't know whether there is a dumpling-shaped pasta made of potato flour, but I'll believe it when I see it.

You can say I'm agnocchic.

You won't believe how easy it is to predict the future!

All you need to do is to look into a crystal ball, purchasable from my website for only $999!
You don't believe me?
See? Exactly what I predicted!

A secretary tells the therapist "you have a new patient here"

Secretary: He wants you to help him because he believes he's invisible. He doesn't have an appointment, though.
Therapist: "No appointment?! Tell him I can't see him."

I don't believe in the death penalty

the last person I want to see in h**... is the a**... who just killed me.

Mercedes for Sale @ $1

Someone put up this advertisement.
No one believed it, but one old man responded and went to see the car.
The Lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 12,000 kms, for $1.
She handed him the papers and the Car keys. Deal done.
As the old man was leaving, he said "I would die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car was sold so cheap?"
The Lady replied "I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where all money receievd from sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary".

Dogs are truly woman's best friend

If you don't believe it, lock your dog and husband in your trunk.
Wait an hour, open it and see who is happier to see you again!

Everyone knows the story of "doubting Thomas" and his reaction to the death and resurrection of Christ

He was famously known for insisting on seeing the wounds for himself, and while most think it was because he didn't believe the stories he was hearing, I know it was because he wanted to confirm that Jesus was indeed a holey man.

Mercedes for Sale @ $100

Mercedes for Sale @ $100
Someone put up this advertisement.
No one believed it could be true so no one responded, but an old man responded and went to see the car.
The Lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 12,000 Kms, for $100.
She handed him the papers and the car keys.
Deal done.
As the old man was leaving, he said, "I shall die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car was sold so cheap?"
The Lady replied, "I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where it's written that the money received from the sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary ..."

I proved my wife wrong!

So, my wife said yesterday that I have started snoring, and its loud! I didn't believe it. So, today, I am up all night to see if I actually snore. But nothing so far..
Proved her wrong!

No believes me but I saw Genghis Kahn holding a spear running around town last night.

They say is just another one of my Kahn spear I see theories.

A man breaks into a wealthy persons house

He hears a sobbing noise coming from around the corner so he goes to check what it is. He peeks around the corner to see a body guard sobbing saying "I C c can't believe boss forgot my birthday, I thought he was m my f f friend uhoo hoo" so he turns around and goes the opposite direction desperate to escape with something. He spots a door at the end of the hallway that appears to have been left unlocked he opens to find the houses owner. He says "YOU!! How did you get past my security" the robber says "you let your guard down"

I once met a blind man who didn't believe in Braille

He told me, 'I'll believe it when I see it!'

A friend of mine who works as a road repairer was recently accused of theft.

None of us believed it was true, but when I went to see him at his house, all the signs were there!


A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was falling every time a bus passed by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time a bus passes by.
"OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close the door behind me" and he steps into the closet to wait for a bus to pass.
At that time the husband comes from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman.
Husband: "What the h**... are you doing here!"
Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!"

A Christian m**... goes to proselytize in Africa and gets lost

So he goes aimlessly through thick forest and stumbles upon a lion. He gets scared the lion will eat him so he starts praying to God to protect him from the lion. Then, suddenly, he sees the lion praying as well!

He gets relieved and tells the lion: Brother! I didn't know you're a believer as well. I'm so glad, for a moment I thought that you might eat me

The lion responds: Quiet, please! Don't interrupt my mealtime prayer!

A woman walks into her psychiatrist's office and says, "I believe I can see into the future"

The shrink asks, "When did this start?"
"Next Tuesday"


A salesman drops in to see a business customer. Not a soul is in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stares at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looks up and says, Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job. Incredible! exclaims the man. I can't believe it. Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk! Please don't tell him! pleads the dog. If that man finds out I can talk, he'll make me answer the phone too.

My girlfriend called me a gullible idiot and said I shouldn't believe everything I see on the Internet

I told her I don't have to put up with this, not when there are desperate single milfs less than a mile away

The Alternative Healer

A man has been sick for quite some time, and the many doctors he's seen can't seem to figure out what's wrong with him.
So the man decides to go see an alternative healer. While going through the initial exam, the man asks the healer,
"So doc, do you think I'll be okay?"
The healer replies,
"I don't think so, Mercury is in Uranus."
The man replies,
"Oh I don't believe in that astrology stuff".
The healer replies,
"Me neither, I just broke my thermometer".

A circus performer is driving home after a long day of training, when he is pulled over by a police officer for a broken light.

The officer looks in the car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
Sir, he says, Why do you have all those knives?
They're for my juggling act, the circus performer replies.
I don't believe you, says the cop. Prove it. So the performer gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives flawlessly.
Just at that moment, a car with two guys in it drives by. "Wow, says one to the other. I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these seeing is believing jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.