JokoJokes

Seed Jokes

93 seed jokes and hilarious seed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking to add a little bit of humor to your day? Check out our collection of seed jokes, featuring everything from sunflower to poppy seed! Get ready to laugh and discover some interesting facts about Sweetys, Sprouts, and more!

Best Short Seed Jokes

Short seed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seed humour may include short plant jokes also.

  1. Another blonde joke A professor told his class:
    "Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"
    A blonde asked, "Who is 'Seed'?"
  2. What did arnold schwarzenegger say to his Tomato seeds after watering them for the first time? You have been germinated.
  3. This old man approached me. He said, "I planted some seeds somewhere and I can't remember what allotment." "It's a synonym for 'many'," I replied, "but I can't help you with the first bit."
  4. I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face... when she scanned the packet of bird seed, and I asked her if she knew how long it took for the birds to grow once the seeds have been planted.
  5. A blonde joke A professor is teaching his class and gets philosophical.
    "Fame will come to you only if you succeed "
    The blonde asks, " Who is Seed?"
  6. This old man approached me. He said, "I planted some seeds somewhere and I can't remember what allotment."
    "It's a synonym for 'many', but I can't help you with the first bit."
  7. To do list- (1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for reaction.
  8. I bought a bag of bird seed almost 2 months ago. Anyone know how long it takes for the bird to grow?
  9. How many Communists does it take to screw in a capitalist lightbulb? Zero. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
  10. How do you find Ronald McDonald in the nudist camp? He's the one with sesame seeds on his buns.

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Seed joke, How do you find Ronald McDonald in the nudist camp?


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about seed can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of seed puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Seed One Liners

Which seed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seed? I can suggest the ones about crop and stem.

  1. Going to open up a donut shop next to a medical m**... store I'll call it glazed and confused
  2. A sign at the fertility clinic. Please wait to be seeded.
  3. I bought some of that emo grass seed, it's brilliant. The grass cuts itself.
  4. Just need to grow I wanted to grow my own food but I couldn't get bacon seeds anywhere.
  5. How do you address an audience full of dried seeds? "Ladies and lentil-men...."
  6. I dropped a jar of cumin seeds on the floor I guess it's ground cumin now
  7. Why do Pokemons like to eat sunflower seeds? Because they like to pick and chew
  8. Why don't sunflower seeds get laid? Because they're in shells
  9. What do you call cute seeds? Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds
    P.S. it's my birthday please love me
  10. my burger bun startup is going well And I've got seed funding already
  11. What did a pirate say to fellow pirate? Are you seeding?
  12. I heard about this disorganized farmer... ...he was operating by the seed of his plants.
  13. Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the casino? Because he was on a roll.
  14. the gay gardener he loved planting seeds
  15. What do you call it when a seed sprouts in Saxony? A Germi-Nation!

Bird Seed Jokes

Here is a list of funny bird seed jokes and even better bird seed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I want to start a bird feeding company. I want to start a bird feeding company.
    All I need is some seed money.
  • I bought bird seed today. Can anyone tell me how long it takes for the birds to grow once I plant them?
  • Bird Seeds 1. Go to the pet store
    2. Buy Bird seeds
    3. Ask the cashier how long it will take for the birds to grow
    4. ???
    5. Profit
  • Why did the man's bird feed startup go under? The seed money fell through.
  • have you smelled my new seeded aftershave? The birds love it.
  • Why did my Exotic Bird Startup Store fail? I didn't have enough seed money.
  • I bought bird seed today I wonder how long they will take to grow
  • If apples come from apple seeds and tomatoes come from tomato seeds, how come nothing is sprouting from the bird seeds I planted?
  • Ambitious birds have no teeth They need to s**... seed
  • How does a bird eat without teeth? It s**... seeds

Sesame Seed Jokes

Here is a list of funny sesame seed jokes and even better sesame seed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you spot Ronald McDonald at a nudist colony? He's the one with the sesame seed buns.
  • Lunch today was to die for. Sesame seed baguette from Pret a Manger.
  • Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?
    A: Look for sesame seed buns.
  • How do you find Ronald mcdonald in a room full of n**... clowns? The Sesame Seeds on his buns.
    (According to my father this is the first joke I ever told, around 5yo.)
  • How can you recognize Ronald McDonald at a n**... beach? He's the only one with sesame seed buns!
  • How do you identify Ronald McDonald on a n**... beach? His sesame seed buns.
    (My grandma told me this one)
  • How can you spot Ronald McDonald on a n**... beach? He has sesame seeds on his buns.
  • How do you find Ronald McDonald at a n**... beach? He's got sesame seed buns

Poppy Seed Jokes

Here is a list of funny poppy seed jokes and even better poppy seed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did Rosemary get kicked out of the spice rack? For swallowing Poppy's Seed
  • Where does bubble wrap come from? Poppy Seeds!
  • They Told Me I Failed The Drug Test I told them I just ate a poppy seed bagel.
    They asked about the m**... and c**....
    I told them it was an everything bagel.

Sunflower Seed Jokes

Here is a list of funny sunflower seed jokes and even better sunflower seed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • We crush olives for olive oil, we crush walnuts for walnut oil and we crush sunflower seeds for sunflower oil So how do we make baby oil?

Pumpkin Seed Jokes

Here is a list of funny pumpkin seed jokes and even better pumpkin seed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The difference between s**... and pumpkin carving? In pumpkin carving, one is trying to get all of the seeds out.
Seed joke, The difference between s**... and pumpkin carving?

Great Seed Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about seed you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean fruit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make seed prank.

MrBeast sure is good at planting seeds

Last time I saw someone spread their seed that successfully was when Ghengis Khan was around.

What do you call a piglet?

A bacon seed.

What was Monica Lewinsky's high school yearbook superlative?

Most likely to s**... seed.

A collection of puns in one text.

[Context: Friend borrowed a great book by Yahtzee Croshaw, "Jam"]

Friend: I'm liking Jam a lot.

Me: Sweet. Glad you got absorbed in it. It's a berry good book. So many sticky situations for the seed of character development.

Friend: *turns off phone*

You know you're in a seedy part of town

when you ask the waitress for coke and she says "is m**... ok?"

Why does a cucumber has a lot of seed?

He has no hands.

Jake wanted a brother

Jake had been asking his father for a brother the whole morning. His dad got annoyed so he gave little Jake some seeds.
"Just put these by the window, it attracts the storks!"
A few months later the neigbors had a baby delivered. Little Jake went to the newfound father and said:
"Just so you know, that wasn't because of your seed, it was because of my dad's seed!"

I like my women like I like my fields.....

fertile and full of my seed

What do you call it when you run out of seed?

Endosperm.

So I had to fire my landscaper last week...

because I told him to spread his seed on my lawn, not all over my wife.

How do you know if a b**... is successful?

Trust me, you'll know if you s**... seed.

Dad how are babies made?

Dad: Daddy plants a seed in mums tummy.
Daughter: Does mummy s**... the seed?
Dad: Only if she wants new shoes

A professor once told his class...

A professor once told his class:
For one to have a good life, they must succeed.
Mary, the only blond in the class replies:
Who's seed?

s**... banks are like torrents

They both want your seed

Baby Whale

Baby Whale says to Dad Whale, 'Dad where did I come from?'
Dad Whale says, ' You came from me son, I put a seed in Mummy Whale and it grew into you'
Baby Whale says, 'thanks Dad'
Dad Whale says, You're Whalecum.'

Tim was planting a seed in the ground.

Jack: What kind of a seed is it?
Tim: A seed of doubt.
Jack: That's The worst joke I've ever heard......Or maybe the best...

What does a garden and a woman on h**... have in common?

They both grow vegetables when someone plants a seed in them.

If opening a walnut is busting a nut..

Make sure to s**... the seed!

If at first you don't succeed

then seed s**... is not for you

A man is in a mental hospital because he believes himself to be a seed.

He is treated for years by one of the world's best psychiatrists. After 6 years, he finally becomes convinced that he is not, in fact, a seed. There is a party to celebrate his release from the hospital.
A chicken shows up to the party. The man freezes and slowly starts to inch behind a nearby tree. His psychiatrist notices and sighs: "I thought you were over this. You are not a seed, remember?"
The man replies: "look, you know that I am not a seed. I know that I am not a seed. But does the chicken know?"

A little girl asked her dad where babies come from.

Dad: "The daddy plants a seed in the mommy."
Little girl: "Does she s**... the seed?"
Dad: "Only if she wants a new dress."

Mom, how did I come to this world?

A kid asked his mother:
\- Mom, how did I come to this world?
\- Me and your father planted a seed together - began telling the story the mother.
\- From that seed - she continued - we grew m**... plant, then smoked some w**... and had s**... on the washing machine...

Home depot is the best brothel

The vacuum s**..., the fan blows, the hammer bangs and they have plenty of pots to plant your seed.

What did the old cucumber seed say?

I'm in a real pickle.

My dad taught me that money and fame will come only if I succeed

Anybody knows who seed is?

When I die, I want an almond tree seed to be planted with my body ...

and several years from then, when that tree is full grown, you can all e**... nuts.

My slavic roommate was eating in the kitchen when I came home

When he saw me he said: "Hey brate, have a seed!"

A blind man walks into the bakery

A blind man walks into the bakery and asks for 8 poppy seed breads. While the baker gathers them for him, he asks: are you expecting any visitors? No, replies the blind man. But I'm going on vacation, and they have such lovely story's written on them!

A little girl asks her mum

A little girl asks her mum "mummy, how was I born" Her mother smiled and replied "once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful tiny seed. Your daddy planted it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while the seed germinated and grew tall with many leaves until it became a lovely healthy plant. Then we dried it and smoked it and got so high we forgot to use a c**..."

The guy from the seed store is very s**...

I asked Him for potato seeds and He gave Me a full sack of potatos instead.

I use to work for a hardware store.

I was being trained by this older gentlemen and he was telling me that the job was all about the up sale. I told me to watch as he went up to someone buying grass seed.
"You should buy this new lawn mower too. You don't want to be cutting your nice new grass with an old lawnmower."
So I turn around and see a guy with a box of tampons and give it a try.
"You should buy a new lawn mower. Your weekends ruined anyway, might as well cut the grass."

If at first you don't succeed

Then s**... another seed.

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.

My dog is so smart, says the first owner, that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed. I know, says the second owner. How do you know? the first demands. My dog told me.

A policeman walks by a street vendor

Policeman: What are you selling?
Vendor: Apple seeds... $5 a pop!
Policeman: What???Why would anyone want to eat apple seed?
Vendor: They make you smarter!
Policeman: OK, give me one (swallows it)... wait a minute? For $5 I could have bought a pound of apples and got myself at least 20 seeds!
Vendor: See!!! You're smarter already!
Policeman: WOW, you're right... Give me two more, quick!

Every tree was once a seed. Take that h**... guy for example.

He really grew fast once he got control of the German-nation.

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.

FO: My dog is so smart that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.
SO: I know.
FO: How do you know?
SO: My dog told me.

Mummy, how was I born?

A 10-year-old girl asks her mum, Mummy, how was I born**?**
The mother smiled and replied:
Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth & I took care of it every single day.
After a while, the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant.
So we took the plant, dried it, rolled it up, smoked it, and got so high that we forgot to wear a c**....

I was at WalMart to buy bird seed...

I was at WalMart to buy bird seed and with a straight face I asked the nice young lady that worked there:
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE THE BIRDS TO GROW ONCE I PLANT THESE SEEDS?

Seed joke, my burger bun startup is going well

jokes about seed

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these seed jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.