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Seductively Jokes

31 seductively jokes and hilarious seductively puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about seductively that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Seductively Jokes

Short seductively jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The seductively humour may include short smugly jokes also.

  1. "Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively... "Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
  2. When a girl seductively tells you, "you can stick it wherever you want" Apparently in her roommate is NOT one of the options
  3. My wife thinks it's seductive to bite her lip. I haven't the heart to tell her it's supposed to be the bottom one.
  4. My wife gazed at me and bit her lip seductively. Unfortunately it was her top lip so she just looked like a piranha.
  5. She rolled over and looked at me very seductively and said "I want you to make me scream by using your fingers".... So I poked her in the eye.
  6. *at cash register* ME: Do I swipe the whole card or...
    *[seductively inserts chip]*
    Just the tip?
    CASHIER: *[into mic]* Security
  7. Why were Huma Abedin's darkest fears about seduction by Bill Clinton unfounded? Because ultimately it was Hillary who ended up showing her the Huma door.
  8. s**... Leia A man comes home to his girlfriend who is in a s**... Leia costume, chained to the bed and stretched out seductively. The man gets angry and says "I'm not that fat!"
  9. An over the shoulder stare followed by a seductive wink is one of the sexiest things in the world. Not during a r**... exam though!
  10. A hunter was walking through the forrest..... When he comes across a beautiful n**... women, she smiles seductively and says "Im Game big boy"!
    So he shot her.

Quick Jump To


Seductively joke, A hunter was walking through the forrest.....


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about seductively can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of seductively puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Seductively One Liners

Which seductively one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with seductively? I can suggest the ones about sheepishly and flirty.

  1. What's sticky and charming? Seduct tape
  2. I'm off to a communist speed dating night. I'm hoping I can seize the means of seduction.
  3. Why did my bush invade herRaq? Because she had weapons of mass seduction

Seductively joke, Why did my bush invade herRaq?

Quirky and Hilarious Seductively Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about seductively you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean aggressively jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make seductively prank.

h**...


A man stands in front of a food truck and reads the menu:
"Cheeseburgers: $5
Fries: $3
h**...: $10."
He walks up to the window and asks the beautiful blonde working behind the counter, "Are you the one that gives the h**...?"
"Yes, I am," she replies seductively.
"Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

With a very seductive voice, a wife asked her husband, Have you ever seen $20 all crumpled up?

No said her husband. She gave him a little smile, unbuttoned the top three b**..., reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled $20 note.
She then asked Have you ever seen $50 all crumpled up? No, I haven't he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She seductively unzipped her skirt and pulled out a crumpled $50 note.
Now she said. Have you ever seen $40,000 all crumpled up? No way! he panted, becoming even more excited,
She said Look in the garage.

n**... Wife's New p**...

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless p**... in an attempt to spice up her dead s**... life. She puts them on, along with a short skirt and sets on the sofa opposite her husband. At certain moments during the game, she would uncross her legs, just long enough for her husband to see. Finally after a number of times he asks "Are you wearing crotchless p**...?" "Yesss." she says smiling seductively "Thank God." he says "I thought you were sitting on the cat."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...

..."Cheese sandwich $3.50. Chicken sandwich $4.50. h**... $5." He checks his wallet and calls over the waitress. He asks, "Are you the one who does the h**...?"
She smiles at him seductively and says, "I am."
He says, "Well, wash your f**...' hands. I want a cheese sandwich."

A man walks into a bar, and begins reading the menu overhead the smoking hot bartender.

The sign reads as follows:
* Nachos $4
* Hamburger $3
* Hotdog $2
* Grilled Chicken Sandwich $3
* Grilled Cheese $2
* Fries, Onion Rings, and Tater Tots $1.50
* h**... $10
After he looks over the menu for a moment he asks the bartender, "Are you the one who gives the h**...?" "Why yes I am." replies the bartender seductively. Then says the man, "Wash your hands! I'd like a hamburger."

A women gets pulled over.

Attempting to get out of a ticket, she tries, as the cop is walking to her car, to try flirting.
"Hi," she says seductively.
"Hi," he replies.
"I thought you didn't give pretty ladies tickets?" She pouts.
"You're right, we don't. Here's your ticket, have a nice day."

Wife spices things up!

A wife, worrying about the state of her marriage, decides to spice things up in the bedroom by adding some costume play. She buys a s**... supergirl outfit and when her husband is in bed slips it on. She walks out, poses seductively and says "Superpussy". Her husband, not looking up from his crossword says "I'll have the soup thanks".

A guy walks into a bar and sits down. There is a small menu on the bar, so he picks it up and reads:

"Cheese sandwich: $2.50
h**...: $5"
A gorgeous woman is the bartender, and she comes over to get the guys order. He asks her "are you the one who gives the h**...?" The leggy blonde flips back her curly hair and silkily says with a wink and seductive smile "why yes, I am."
"Well wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich."

A beautiful woman walks into her professor's office

Woman: "I really need to get an A in this course. What can I do to get an A?"
Professor: "Is getting an A really that important?"
Woman (seductively): "Yes, I would do anything to get an A".
Professor: "Anything?"
Woman (seductively): "Yes, anything."
Professor: "Would you study?"

A guy is sitting alone at the bar

when a hot girl comes up to him. She leans to his ear and whispers in a seductive tone:
"For $100 I'll do anything, as long as you can describe it in no more than three words!"
She leans back, and the man thinks about the offer for a second and answers:
"Paint my house"

Date night

I was on a date with a girl last night and the conversation started to get s**.... She was holding my hand and I said; "just by using these fingers I could make you scream."
Seductively she leant forward and purred "well go on then, show me..."
So I poked her in the eye!

So it's an old man's 99th birthday...

...and his caretakers decide to hire a p**... for him. So they find one who's into old guys and set it all up. She bursts into the old man's room, all s**... up and looking great. She walks up to him and seductively says: "Tonight, I'm going to give you some SUPER s**...."
The old man looks at her and says, feebly: "... I'll take the soup!"

On his 90th birthday his friends chipped in to hire a h**....

On his 90th birthday his friends chipped in to hire a h**....
She danced seductively, then sat on his lap.
She whispered in his ear "I'm here to give you super s**...!"
The man thought about it and then asked her "what kind of soup?"

A black man meets a white girl in a club.

They go back to the girls house and start making out. The girl says seductively "show me that its true what they say about Black Guys". The man then precedes to stab the girl take her purse and run off faster then the wind.

A seductive man walks into a bar and sees a pretty woman.

"Waiter, offer a drink to that girl", the gallant gentleman asked.
"Dude, it's a waste of time. She's a lesbian", the waiter replied.
"Lesbian? But from what region of Lesbia?"

A beautiful female student was in danger of flunking her middle-aged male professor's course

It was near the end of the semester and she came to class in a short skirt and low-cut top. After the other students left the classroom she approached the prof.
"You know, I'd do *anything* to pass this class," she said flirtatiously.
The professor lowered his voice and looked down his bifocals. "Really?" he said, "Anything?"
"Yes," she said seductively. "Anything."
The professor drew near and whispered in her ear. "Would you . . . study?"

True story: I'm at a music festival with my wife and she is looking good.

I convince her to go to the port-a-potties. I ask here how high do you think the floor is off the ground. She says "I don't know, 3 inches?". I seductively ask her if she would like to accompany me in to the port-a-pottie and Join the 3 inch club. She looks at me sarcastically and says......"Oh, I've already joined the 3 inch club!!!" OUCH!

A man and a woman get married and are on their honeymoon.

The woman walks out of the bathroom in a robe and the man says "t**... robe - we're married now!"
Okay, she says seductively while taking off her robe.
Can I take a picture of you?
Why?
"So I can carry you with me.
A few hours later the man comes out of the bathroom in a robe.
The woman says "t**... robe - we're married now!"
Okay, he replied while enthusiastically taking off his robe.
Can I take a picture?
Why?
"So I can have it enlarged!"

A man walks into a bar...

and on the menu he sees Hamburgers $5, Cheeseburgers $6, h**... $10. He walks up to the bar and a beautiful brunette comes to take his order. She seductively leans over the bar and asks the man, Can I get you something dear? The man says Are you the one that makes the burgers and gives the h**...? She grins and says I sure am honey and winks at him. He says Great, can you wash your hands, I'd love a cheeseburger.

A Jewish boy got a new German girlfriend

One night, after insane and wild s**..., she goes into the shower, and whisper seductively "come join me in the shower, babe".
He frowns "Oh I wont fall for that one again".

Seductively joke, A Jewish boy got a new German girlfriend

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these seductively jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.